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Workplace Bullying

Bullying doesn't just happen to kids at school; it is a very real problem in the workplace as well. Millions of days are lost to businesses each year as a result of absenteeism caused by bullying. Bullying results in low morale, lower productivity and high staff turnover. Surveys suggest bullying is responsible for 30 – 50% of all stress related illnesses in the workplace.

Have you ever been bullied by your boss? Have you witnessed a co-worker being bullied by a supervisor? A recent study by the U.S. National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health suggests that most incidents of workplace bullying are between employees, rather than perpetuated by a supervisor. Frankly, we find that very difficult to believe. Can it be true that most workplace bullying is by co-workers?

The Bully at Work
The Bully at Work
What you can do to stop the hurt and reclaim your dignity on the job
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We believe a survey recently publish by the British Trade Union Congress on workplace bullying is highly significant. According to the survey, 2 million workers claim to have been bullied in the six months leading up to November 2005. What is particularly striking about this British evidence for workplace bullying is that it is senior managers, rather than co-workers, who are singled out as the worst offenders when it comes to acts of workplace bullying.

We think bullying by bosses is stupid because it is counterproductive. It is estimated that 18 million working days per year are lost through the effects of workplace bullying in the UK alone.

Are bullying bosses just a British phenomenon? Use the Submit a Story page to tell us what you think.

What is Bullying at Work?

Bullying at work is basically any behaviour that is malicious, intimidating, insulting or upsetting. It is a deliberate attempt by a colleague or boss to undermine, intimidate or control you. Bullying tends to be sustained over a long period rather than being a one off occurrence. Bullies rarely commit a physical attack but instead use more psychological tactics. The emotional problems that the victim experiences can be very hard to deal with. Any of the following can be regarded as bullying behaviour:

Adult Bullying
Adult Bullying
Adult Bullying is a valuable resource for anyone who has experienced bullying
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  • Verbal/physical threats
  • Being humiliated in public or shouted at
  • Blocking access to training/overtime and other benefits
  • Spreading malicious rumours
  • Persistent criticism that is undeserved
  • Setting impossible deadlines – setting you up to fail
  • Offensive reference to sex, race, age, etc
  • Exclusion from meetings or communications that are relevant to your job

A bully may be quite subtle when talking to you in front of other people, but when you are on your own with them, you may be subject to explosive outbursts.

Bullies will quite often try to wear you down by placing unreasonable demands on you. They may accuse your standard of work or accuse you of not pulling your weight.

What can you do about it?

Admit that you are being bullied
The first step you need to take is to acknowledge the fact you are being bullied. If you just try to ignore it, the problem will not go away.

When You Work for a Bully
When You Work for a Bully
For employees who are tired of constant confrontation - advice on everything from how to identify a bully to utilising self defence tactics.
Buy from Amazon.com $10.85
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Stand up for yourself
Try not to show the bully that their behaviour has upset you. Try to improve your assertiveness and communication skills. Look at your body language, don't stoop or hang your head. Stand up straight with confidence and maintain eye contact. If you stand up to the bully rather than just take it lying down, chances are the bully may lose interest and turn their attentions elsewhere. Bullies prey on people that accept their bad behaviour. Don't give them an easy ride – simply choose not accept the way they treat you. If they speak to you abusively, stand up to them and ask why they are treating you so badly. Tell them how their behaviour is affecting you. If they know that they are always going to have to account for their behaviour, your direct approach will potentially reduce the chances of them bullying you in the future.

Make a case
Gather information about this person. Is it just you they are targeting or are they bullying anyone else? Build a case to show the negative impact they are having on the workplace.

Keep a diary of bullying tactics. Make sure you include specific incidences and record exactly what was said. Specifics are much more useful than vague recollections.

Tell someone
Write a memo to the person concerned stating your criticism of the way you are being treated. Make sure you copy in your Human Resources manager. If you are called into a meeting, request that a colleague or friend comes in with you.

Request that your Human Resources department spell out clearly their policy on bullying.

What if the company does nothing?

Talk to friends
Talk to your friends and supportive colleagues. Don't try to deal with the problems on your own.

Don't be embarrassed to seek professional help
If you have been badly affected as a result of bullying, seek professional help. Your family doctor can refer you to counsellors and psychologists. Bullying causes stress, which can, over a sustained period of time have very harmful effects on your body. Symptoms of prolonged stress include tiredness/feeling run down, difficulty sleeping, headaches, heartburn, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Know when it's time to move on
You need to ask yourself whether it is worth the stress of staying on. Some bullies will not back down and will continue to make your life hell. Is your job really worth it? If it is just the individual that is the problem, then the problem may be worth tackling, but in some cases the organisation may have a ‘bullying culture'. Why would you want to continue to work in an organisation that supports bullying?

Take some time out and make a list of what you are good at. Document your achievements and update your CV. Take this opportunity to push your career in a more fulfilling direction. Your health and sanity are much more important.

If you have experienced being bullied at work or if you have any tips on how you have dealt with a bully, please share it with us here.

Related Links
Most Workplace Bullying is Worker to Worker, Early Findings From NIOSH Study Suggest
Only a new law will stop the workplace bullies, says TUC

My boss makes me feel like I am worthless. After working for the same company for 27 years I am made to feel less than a person, less than a productive employee even though I take on extra responsibilities and have been acknowledged by my colleagues as a go to person to get the job done right and on time. What can I do?
Cindee on 28 July 2006 03:09:11
I am in the same position as you are. My boss is now under pressure as we work for the "State". There is a Union problem between to different Units that are covered by two different Unions. My boss is not only a bully, but he has exceptional respect and relies on this "other Unit" to do work that belongs to us. The Union Rep already suspects he will not honor the new agreement that is being made. He basically "shines you on" then keeps doing whatever he wants to do. He doesn't respect the women that work for him, he sees the employees "in the other Unit" as "Gods". The employees, under him, men/women all feel worthless, unappreciated, humiliated and embarrassed most of the time. His boss is as spineless as he is. Even though my colleagues come to me, as I am the "go to person" as well, my boss still believes that this other guy, in this other unit is "Gods gift to the computer world" and we are nothing! The only thing you can do, is document what he does, be specific and if you have a Union Rep, talk to the Union Rep. Don't go into a room by yourself, with your boss, always ensure someone else is there with you, even if you need to have the Human resources person there. We've also told our boss, immediately, when he is being underhanded, rude and disrespectful. We've told him that if he didn't stop speaking to us, in that fashion, we would leave the room. It seems to be working, however, you need to be calm and very specific about what he is doing or saying that is making you uncomfortable. Personally, I would stop takinig on extra responsibilities as well, unless you enjoy this. Remember, there is NOTHING you can ever do to please people like this. I hate to say it, but I am looking into anti-anxiety meds...and getting another job. Thank goodness I only have 4 years until retirement!
Angie on 30 July 2006 16:17:01
My boss is a small woman of around 53. She regularly shouts at people in front of everyone making them feel bad.although she has managers over sections she makes up rules as she goes along.For those she like in he workplace she is all smiles for most others she treas as if they are dirt under her foot.She pays the lowest pay to everyone but her chosen few.If you dare to challenge her she does not speak to you for weeks a a time and then says about how your just is not safe due to changes in the business.There is no HR just her and someone challeged her once,the result - she had someone to act as HR in a meeting,that someone answers to her,therefore the nothing happened.She has us lifting heavy weights girls and boys,if you fall hurt yourself & are off work she stops your wages.The worse thing is the chosen few see her behaviour and are now reacting it leaving more & more people unhappy. We need jobs,we need more,but most of all we need peace of mind..where will i all end
Unhappy-2006 on 19 October 2006 20:28:58
hi i work in a charity were iam bulled and intimadated even blackmailed not to claim for an accedent which happend towards me i was told if i was to claim i would be bringing the place into dissrepute and i would have to leave,yet my boss is in the caring manegment postion he has belitteld me even other bosses have done the same by taking away responsibility and giving it to some one els and iam being undermined every day yet yet were iam the bosses are supposed to care for us as if we were not there the bosses. would not have a job yet there supposed to be here for us yet i have been bullied alot in many ways yet the bosses portray one thing in front of the public when thay do another in front of me and some of the others who work here yet there are some people i work along side who also bullys me and ( i have even been falsly accused by some one i work with yet he has addmitted that what he is falsley accusing me of he has done and he said it in front of our boss two days before my boss started yet because of the false accuser i have been verbaly threatend and phiicaly threatend yet the boss says what can he do unless i have proof yet i do have proof or i should say my friends have the proof of this man falsely accussing me as it was taped and my friends have heard the tape and have said that the man i work with is projecting what he has done in his life on to me as he cant handel it yet why should i have to pay for what he has done its like what my boss is doing why should i pay with my health by the tremenduse preasure and stress and the bullying iam under here e.t.c )
STEVE ROY on 06 January 2007 07:17:11
My boss is a school principal. He has become an arrogant tyrant who believes he is untouchable, some would agree since he is best freinds with his boss. He is guilty of sexual harrassment, misuse of funds, manipulating test scores. Additionally he is guilty of sucking the morale from teachers and creating a school culture of apathy and mediocrity. My solution will be to address various church groups, give them the facts and where to find the proof and send them in mass to the school board
mike on 02 February 2007 03:24:53
My boss is my older brother who took over from my dad passing away over 11 years ago. There are 5 stores, and 7 other family members and various employees that run stores under his command. My father never showed my older brother how to run the company before he took over. My brother also never ask any of us for advise. As timed passed he has shut all of us off-ruling his rules. There is low morale and self-motivation throughout the company. Recently, fire us from the board of directors, only we never knew it because he made the rule voting my mother whom has demencia her proxy majority rule to make up the rules for himself to dictate. After that long meeting, my second oldest brother got a lawyer and his solution was a split of the company. My thought is though, we will never get through with him because he received 2 of the 5 stores to take, and second he is still voting my mothers 52 share majority opinion even if we split she will have majority of our little part for the 6 other members. Damed if you split or dame if you stay together as a family business. Also another problem is that younger family members can't buy stock in the company or if my spouse passes I cannot inheret or my children also cannot inheret. Its a real mess with all my lifes savings. Recently I have tryed to even get another job to try to get my life more away from all of this, but at the age of 50 doing the same job its difficult to have others believe that you are of any value sometimes even though you were brought up to work hard and do your best to serve the customer. My brother never says an uplifting commit to others when visiting with the paychecks. Even if the business needs an extra hand he also never pitches in to even help the customers waiting if the salesperson is overwhelmed.
I just hope that others don't get in the same situation as I have gotten into, because mental hurt is harder to deal with. I have felt worthless, stupid, and stressed out because of all the bullying my older brother has done to me and running down the family business my father and mother made positive at one time.
Don't fall in the same trap on 05 February 2007 06:07:14
Hi All,
I know this is quite old, but i wanted to ask some advice!
What if its the Human Resources manager, Boss and direct boss that are doing the bullying....

How do you ever get past that?
Terry on 23 April 2007 10:31:26
I was being bullied. I had worked in a place where I had a manager who spread malicious stories about me. She pitted other workers against me, humiliated me, gave me demeaning tasks, and had managers repeatedly call and hang up their phones. I had a couple of breakdowns. Later prior to my leaving that organization after 2 years, some people realized and told me that she was abusive to others as well. But I rec'd the brunt of it. She fired all the men. After I left some others left on their own. I have depression, and worry a lot about what others will do to me next even though I've been able to regain my sanity and not have to be with that awful psychopath anymore. The sick part of her abuse was that I ran into her in a store - she talked to me as if we were old friends. I walked away from her - can't scream at her b/c I would've looked unstable/bad/stupid. People really abused me b/c of her malicious attacks. I can't forgive her for this. Sometimes I find others to talk to about my experience who have been in the same predicament - only to validate that what was happening to me really, actually happened. I've come to the conclusion that I think the worst perpetrators of mobbing are women. Women are irrational, jealous, conniving, and quite hurtful when it comes to rumormongering. I am female BTW. I just like to keep to myself and steer clear of other females b/c of this experience. Are there others out there who have experience this garbage? I wish to read your stories too please - b/c it helps me see that I am not the only one with this phenomenon.
anonymous on 23 April 2007 19:43:22
Well,
I brought my bully out in front of everyone...they try to fight back, but they look silly and really dumb.....this 61 year old bully is on MY PROBATION....she is squirming now and will continue to do so......if I decide to quit, that is my choice....but what is better than anything else is watching a bhully/basher look foolish in front of 10 other staff.....guess what....I freelance on the side now and am doing very well...I am semi-retired at 39 and a half.....I offer 5 pieces of advice to anyone here:
1) Bullies are usually uneducated
2) Bullies are afraid of being exposed..so expose them
3) Bullies/bashers have unhappy lives, so they like to bash/bully happy people
4) Bullies/bashers are afraid to look in the mirror
5) Bullies/bashers have an unhealthy upbringing
Anyone care to email me isdjpn@hotmail.com

I am presently watching my bully squirm..she looks like hell most of the time..and now no more bullying and bashing from the biddy......Please put your bullier or basher ON YOUR PROBATION...that is the most important thing......

Paul
Paul Doucette on 20 May 2007 00:46:22
I am being set up to fail by my boss and the HR manager. I have asked for help from Corporate and they did nothing. It's not just me, three other managers have quit because of it. Including the GM. What can I do?
Nicole on 30 May 2007 06:39:59
I work next to a crazy lady. Literally! She has used a lot of the same manipulative tactics that i have read above, asks other employees to help her with projects, but doesn't ask me even if I know the answers. She likes to put up a front that i'm stupid. She has cut me off in the hallway on my way into work, and even has looked at me and laughed at me in the elevator when no one else has been in there - with a witch laugh. I don't get it. I think she does it to intimidate me! She is so bitter and grouchy and tells customers off on the phone - yet kisses up to the right people and has managed to make them feel sorry for her because she is a lady in her 50s, a recovered alcoholic, and puts up a front that she grew up in the ghetto and has had a seriously hard life - which everyone in the office then tries to excuse her behavior and work ethic on her difficult past. I have to work next to this bitter woman, who looks at me evily and then started trying to give me a nickname to undermine and belittle me. I wrote her an e-mail stating could she please refrain from calling me names while I am trying to work, forwarded it to my manger and stopped talking to me for over a week. And it continues!! I never heard back from my manager or heard how it was taken care of. When she left the office I drew a smiley face on her banana just so I could smile. She is so bitter. I think part of the reason is because I got a job she was training for and wanted? I have two college degrees, a bachelors and an associates, and graduated with honors. I have worked hard for what I have accomplished! Now this crazy weirdo who is trying to intimidate me and ruin my career!! How do you deal with someone so irrational in the workplace?
Anonymous on 07 July 2007 16:41:03
Hello,
wow, I had NO idea that this was so common. I'm not sure if someone is attempting to bully me, however, as a confrontational communicator, i'm not really sure what I've decided to do yet. We have a small staff of four and suddenly got a new person. She is easily pressured, unbalanced and very dependent (on me since I'm training her to do her job) oh by the way, she is an attorney and I am not... I've been onthe job for 10 months doing great things, I'm very assertive and outgoing, bubbly and accurate with a good work ethic. I believe I have diagnosed her characteristics as attempted bullying.. I'm smiling because under my sunshiny disposition, I still dont take crap from anyone. My main concern is how to not be cruel and show my other side in the workplace. I'm always the one taking up for other since I simply pity and destroy bully's. I've never had one of my own and in the past so when I take care of this littl e nitpicking, envious, undermining my work all the time in front of coworkers and staff meetings, litte..:) I'm going to call her out. But again, if things need to get heated, then so be it. I'll jsut smile the entire time and question all the criticisms that she will undoubtely have about something that i did, when all i have done is provide training, files, shortcuts, etc to make her dumb--- less frustrated. I've cut all extra conversation out and totally ignored her today besides work talk and hello. No extra convo like her first weeks pulling up a chair. I dont avoid her, however prefer to walk by bouncy as usual ignoring her. She will NOT win this and has definitly met the right person to spit fire at lol Bully's must be DESTROYED and all of you have the power to do so.. I've read that so many have left the job and just felt helpless, but hell, dont be INTIMIDATED by these clowns. You just play the reverse game. DoNT let bullys win and make youloos all that you have worked for. Smile even more, laugh a little louder and walk like you have oil wells in your backyard. Simply becasue you ARE truly powerful because you have this reverent power!! Use it! Confront the person.. There is no way around this and remember, Be who you are because THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE THAT DONT MIND MATTERS THE MOST!


BEST WISHES

I'm sure its going to be a hot staff meeting next week.


Folks, the next time you encounter
Anonymous on 11 August 2007 10:44:28
I have been bullied for a year and a half the management team and my colleagues they regularly criticise my work, blame me for things that are not my fault make me feel responsible for things that cannot impossibility been my fault, withhold information or give me incorrect information; not train me to do anything and leave me to do boring tasks. I am a regular target for hurtful comments behind my back and jokes to my face. They make me look stupid in front of people and make complaints about me. They reprimand me for everything tiny thing and the other workers are encouraged to make complaints about me and the Assistant Manager "Closely supervises" my work. Thats in their words, it is just micromanagement. Although it may sound mild but it is upsetting for me and it isn't just bullying it is mobbing I am regularly in the toilets crying and I cannot sleep at night and I am always looking over my shoulder waiting for the next time I get called in the office for something.
BubbleBee on 22 August 2007 17:29:46
I work for a non-profit organization that is run like a cult. As I am the only non-believer in Dear Leader (female) I am psycologically abused on a daily basis. She tells me to do something and when I do it and show her she screams at me asking me why I did it, and says that is her job not mine.

She holds 'Self-criticism sessions' where we have to put ourselves down in front of everyone else and admit to our mistakes, after which she tells everyone that if we follow her we will all become beings worthy of living.

The other people in the office are complete believers - 1 has tried suicide because they don't feel worthy and 3 have depression for which she won't allow them to seek treatment for. She makes my life a living hell to the point where a once confident, happy full of life young woman feels like they can't go on....I am leaving next year when mu contract expires and hope that I can put this horrible woman and organization behind me. The only comfort I have is the knowledge that what goes around comes around....
Bullied Daily on 24 September 2007 14:02:16
Well were I work it is not just me being bullied by two co-workers they have even bullied our supervisor, maintenance and resident people in a cre facility. They have made us ill and we have let the supervisor know of this and we are tired of the undo criticism and sarcasim.

Yesterday behavior was part of the staff meeting and it was about bullying and it is not being unnoticed but disciplinary action is being looked into for future use.

So that is good but how long does it take to fing out what discipline action is available or what have others done.

For the most part us who are victims are hoping that this brings good results as the bullies are now in their own little corner.
tired of bullies on 26 September 2007 15:45:31
Well were I work it is not just me being bullied by two co-workers they have even bullied our supervisor, maintenance and resident people in a care facility. They have made us ill and we have let the supervisor know we are tired of the undo criticism and sarcasim.

Yesterday behavior was part of the staff meeting and it was about bullying and it is not being unnoticed but disciplinary action is being looked into for future use.

So that is good but how long does it take to fing out what discipline action is available or what have others done.

For the most part us who are victims are hoping that this brings good results as the bullies are now in their own little corner.
tired of bullies on 26 September 2007 15:49:42
I work for one of the largest shipping companies and my supervisor is always throwing the f-bombs around like he in a bar or something. He doesn't like answering the phone when it is for him. He starts cursing under his breath then he picks it up like he never reacted that way. He throws chairs around the office and i almost was hit with the chair. I think his actions in the office is uncalled for and he might need to go to a "How to be a real Supervisor". He talks about everyone in the office and we have started to write down all of his words that are coming out of his mouth. I heard that they made a new law if your boss treats you bad you can take them to court. Is this true?
fed up on 01 October 2007 20:22:12
I worked 4 mos at a place where I was bullied, belittled & ostracized by at least 2 of the people who were training me
& for no apparent reason whatsoever.

It hurt my feelings & I was extremely stressed out over it. Began losing sleep & was in a deep depression most of the time. I couldnt take much more & knew I had to act soon.

When I began to stand up & defend myself in face of the abuse, all the rest of the people I worked with suddenly started treating me like I was a germ & refused to talk to me.

It was evident to me that they were talking about me behind my back & spreading terrible rumors about me.
There was simply no other explanation. I'd been nothing but nice to these people.

So I asked a co-worker why noone would talk to me anymore. The answer was 'Just don't step on anyone's toes.. I learned that right away' So I asked '& how does one do that exactly?' but & was met with only silence.

Then the boss called a meeting about me which I was not invited to attend (which I thought was rather strange) & following that, a one on one meeting between me and him to hear my side.

He was completely unsympathetic even when I described him how I had been insulted daily, ordered around like someone's pet & then ignored for no apparent reason .

My advice is: If you ever are bullied at a job, take a close look at the boss..

If the boss is unsympathetic towards your plight & in some way actually suggests that you deserve such treatment
from coworkers, then he is every bit as much to blame & probably even encouragoing the bad behavior which is probably how he ended up with such a cut-throat staff of people in the 1st place.

I quit, realizing I could not win in this situation & moved on.

At my new job, I find I'm overjoyed if someone so much as smiles or talks to me & treats me like the human being that I am. & it happens every day.

I'm no longer walking on eggshells & thinking 'Oh, god, what am I in for today..' & actually look forward to going to work instead of dreading it.

I can't believe I let those clowns beat me down & make me feel bad about myself for so long. They now have my sympathy.

Anon E Mouse on 14 October 2007 20:12:29
I've been at my current job for nearly 2 years now. I started out as a newbie. So in the begining i was the "still learning" guy. So i understand that they could pound some blames on me.

But as i get better and better, and i consider myself 200% better then i was, i am still getting shouted at and humiliated. Sometimes with 7 people laughing at my face. We are now a team of 5. 1 manager and 4 workers in an office. And when ever some makes a mistake it is noted and dealt with. when it comes to me all hell breaks loose.

And why? because i am being giving the most boring tasks at work. My line of work is Software development, and i am being constantly given tasks like check this and that, make sure that this is fine.........and guess what? No Development which is my actuall line of work.

At work i've been given the duty of updating systems and websites. And i have been doing it for too long now, For example yesterday i didnt upload some stuff....and my boss goes along with sarcastic idiotic jokes like "Typical of our most effecient guy".

For example at 5 when every goes away....he tells "see you tomorrow to everyone ". And when it comes to me he doesnt even speak!! i know its a small thing but it affects me. He is always talking good about others...and in 2 years i heard maybe 2 compliments from him.

Anyways yesterday i applied for an other job. With a better pay!! and i hope that when i work hard(the result of being motivated by positive feedback about my work) will be much more appreciated.

Being infront of 8 people laughing at you, u put on a fake smile which is noticable from 8 miles away but still they keep on going.

What a bunch of assholes we have to work with!!....hopefully not any more
Feeing useless because of others on 27 October 2007 09:21:14
hie all
i am also in the same situation of a bullying boss but my situation is worse because i am living in the struggling Zimbabwe where jobs are hard to come by.Also i work for an indegenous company where my boss is the director so i have no one to report to.He always shouts at me calling me names, swearing at me, saying how worthless i am even with my IT degree.There is never a day that passes without him shouting at me.He says he told you something and yet he has not and if i try and defend myself he says i am surbotaging him.He has since been asking me out lying that he was not married and wanting to force matters.Since he is young,early thirties i believed and wanting to keep my job almost fell in but when i realised he was married i moved back.Now its even worse.The other time he called me asking if i was free to come to work on a weekend.When i got there all he was interested in was flirting with me coz there was not much work to be done.
My job has become a nightmare to me i even dread to go to work.I want to leave but jobs are difficult to come by even with my honors degree in Business Management and Information Technology.The other time i asked him why he was treating me like that and he said i can leave the company if i think he is illtreating me.There is no one to turn to since its a small company and he owns it.There is no HR or any other such dpt.The other guys he started as a partnership with him are stil in the same premises but it was dissolved they are now doing their own thing and have no say.Some friend told me to confront him or go report at the Labour Offices but i know i will risk losing my job.I am really stressed about my job and besides we are not paid well but i dont know what to do.So far two guys have left the company for other companinies.I want to resign but i dont have a new job.

Stressed me on 14 December 2007 09:35:48
Yes! Any suggestions I am being bullied from a co worker who is a counsellor, she has been able to twist all my words around and say that I was arregssive and destressed. When I challenged her please help?
candi on 20 December 2007 13:51:20
Wow

it is a comfort to know that others are in the same situation!!

Its really difficult when you hate your boss and aren't confident to get another job. I think you have to rise above it all - separate the wheat from the chaff and be cool. Verbal abuse and shouting are easiest to complain about, its the other things such as undermining and belittle-ing that are difficult to pinpoint.

Always have plan b (sell house, move, go back to college, get another job) easier said than done!! At least it gives you something to look forward too.

Don't let it affect your health - take more sick days if necessary.

Keep a note of issues/or keep it in your head - ready to list her faults to her boss, try to look objective + fair.
cyberbullied on 07 February 2008 12:32:33
I work in a police force and worked for 4 different supervisors, 2 of them "Bully Bosses". Upper management did nothing to address the situation and instead bury it, I have been the one labelled "troubled" and the one that needs assistance - supervision. Fact is that these bosses are so arrogant they never apologize, and don't feel they do anything wrong, they lack empathy and it is all about them, how does it affect them - and when things run smoothly and people - coworkers are having fun, they feel the need to tighten up the workplace and make it miserable by singling out someone, - targeting them, and making them the example by only focusing on the negative work performed, no matter what..., there is always something wrong - your report is too brief, or it is too complicated and it has to be redone..... all kinds of tactics, from with-holding development and courses, to denying time off because of work requirments. The best thing was to start documenting them and what they said, tape recording it, and in chronoligical order what is going on, then make a complaint about it - even if management doesn't want to address it, they'll move the person making the complaint to another section, which happened to me and some of my co-workers, those that don't say and endure it, still remain in the same situation and remain unhappy. It's unfortunate that some corporate & business structures - even government - allow this to flourish and ignore it.
Officer Pitbull on 24 February 2008 04:44:15
Hi, my name is james! i am a floor installer. My boss makes me feel stupid in front of the rest of the employes he has working for him. He knows i want to start my own business, but yet he makes me feel like i do not know what i am talking about when i do! he talks behind my back and me feel small to the rest of the employees. He praises me and puts me down at the same time and makes jokes and laughs about me to the other employees on the job sit. I want you to know that i am first nations native an everybody that works for ***** makes fun of me. I am 39 and live in Nova Scotia Canada, i have no friends nor do i have anyone that cares, what do i do!
James Lamrock on 08 March 2008 00:45:46
I have been having problems at my work place constantly being called for disiplinary meetings with no eveidence of any wrong doing I had enough and went and spoke to a Lawyer as I felt the union was not doing enough. Since the lawyer has contacted my HR I have had no problems I think they are scared when a lawyer is involved.
Nols on 15 April 2008 12:26:54
Everday my boss makes me feel stupid. Amd Im at the point that maybe I am ! I hate going to work everyday !!! Im only staying because of the health insurance as I need it . But I am ready to tell her that she will be talking to my lawyer !
If you go over her head HR and her boss will just let her know what was done and then that makes it worse. What can we do ? There are only 3 of us who work in the office plus one pt sales person. I have been told that I am not ALLOWED to get sick or to take a vaction. How does one not get sick ? Im so ready to quit !
Jo on 09 May 2008 13:07:53
i have been bullied for 4 years, i was never writen up until my new boss came here, he has his favorites and i do my job, im seeking counsiling and even on medication and theropy, he is a male, the males do not seem to get in any trouble at all, my boss has said some unkind things to me, im seeking an attorney becasue my oea attorney feels he just doesntlike me, but if u are a boss, everyone has to be treated equally. medication for four years and nightmares has lead me to theropy
kathy allen on 23 May 2008 11:51:22
My boss is head of Radiology, ECG, and Nuclear Medicine; she is a bully and she wants me out of the department all of a sudden. I have a short time before retirement and I have no idea what she is doing this. D....You should be ashamed of yourself; and so should you too T....and R.... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....I'm not going anywhere.....you'll have to deal with me until the last day I leave....
June on 19 June 2008 01:35:13
I was being bullied. I had worked in a place where I had a manager who spread malicious stories about me. She pitted other workers against me, humiliated me, gave me demeaning tasks, and had managers repeatedly call and hang up their phones. I had a couple of breakdowns. Later prior to my leaving that organization after 2 years, some people realized and told me that she was abusive to others as well. But I rec'd the brunt of it. She fired all the men. After I left some others left on their own. I have depression, and worry a lot about what others will do to me next even though I've been able to regain my sanity and not have to be with that awful psychopath anymore. The sick part of her abuse was that I ran into her in a store - she talked to me as if we were old friends. I walked away from her - can't scream at her b/c I would've looked unstable/bad/stupid. People really abused me b/c of her malicious attacks. I can't forgive her for this. Sometimes I find others to talk to about my experience who have been in the same predicament - only to validate that what was happening to me really, actually happened. I've come to the conclusion that I think the worst perpetrators of mobbing are women. Women are irrational, jealous, conniving, and quite hurtful when it comes to rumormongering. I am female BTW. I just like to keep to myself and steer clear of other females b/c of this experience. Are there others out there who have experience this garbage? I wish to read your stories too please - b/c it helps me see that I am not the only one with this phenomenon.

anonymous on 23 April 2007 19:43:22



I could of written this...my heart goes out to you too...I hope you found something better and yes, females are much worse than men and yes I am a woman! I also have only male friends...I am 43 years, too old for this kind of treatment from others, will not tolerate it anymore.
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:34:58
I recently applied for a job and start soon..I went to the bank that I am going to work for soon, and said a quick hello and did some banking business...I was told that I did not look happy bout my new job from a coworker in front of our new boss, I then repiled that I was nervous only cause its been so long such I had worked outside the home...I see now that he is someone to avoided..my boss seems ok but that remains to be seen...I hope it works out, I need to work, and need this job...
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:38:06
Yes! Any suggestions I am being bullied from a co worker who is a counsellor, she has been able to twist all my words around and say that I was arregssive and destressed. When I challenged her please help?


I am sorry...my childs teacher did this to me this past year...has a degree in psych, lots of awards and etc and twisted everything around and then made us look bad and then said that my child had problems when she clearly does not...she then ran to the principal and lied and when I went to him, he would not even talk to me..

there are alot of sociopathic people in top postions cause they know how to get what they want by hurting others, lyings and twisting things around...best thing to do is to not engage, and to move far from them or else you might get a heart attack, not worth it imo.
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:44:26
I just quit my job yesterday...totally unexpected! I think I managed to pull one over on my bullying bosses (two of them). I cannot even begin to list all of my woes and complete discord with this charity!
However, I will briefly describe what unfolded within the last hour of my decision to run like hell out of there. Those two micro-managing bullies backed me into a corner...literally, in my office and behind my desk. Seriously, I couldn't walk out from behind my desk if I wanted to.
Then came the attack...a myraid of "stupid" questions, one pertaining to my falsifying my timesheet. Understand, that I am an Event Planner in charge of 2 major fundraisers (golf and 8,000person family walk) and several family events such as picnics, bowling, theatre, etc. Miraculously, I am to "make this happen" in 33 hours per week. Of course we have to minus 10 hours per week for THEIR "make me look good" reports and meeting. And let's not forget the committee meeting to attend to pull off such grand events. If you do the math, it doesn't leave much time to plan anything.
Noteably, I am a dedicated, passionate, and caring worker...hard worker at that. So, I decided that in order to get the job done, I would "donate" my time. Yeah, I can hear some of you reader now...yes, I worked for FREE. My bosses had the nerve to tell me that I was NOT permitted to "donate" my time. It is manditory that I work 33 hours no more no less and that is that.

Is it just me or does that seem to be the absolute most asinine thing that had ever heard of?

When I first joined the "team" in october, I thought I had reached the ultimate dream job! Eight months later, it turned into my most horrifying worst nightmare.

God, help us all if that is what the world in charity organizations has come to!
bring down the stupid bosses! on 02 July 2008 18:57:24
I worked in a research laboratory at Houston for a "well known" person from 2004-2008. A month after I joined, I started getting bullied by some senior coworkers. Never did I realize that the so called close friends that I had in the laboratory were actually established bullies. By the middle of 2006, I started developing head aches, fever, nausia, nightmares, eating disorders and much more as a result of severe verbal abuse. I complained to my chief a number of times and none of these complaints resulted in any action. For about three years, I got picked for silly mistakes or got yelled at for manufactured reasons. I continued making complaints. Towards the end of 2006, I learned that I was getting set up constantly for failures by some senior members of the group. By mid 2007, I started getting verbally threatened, I was told that I better quit if I dont want to get killed. Not once, three to four times. The fourth time, I made an official complaint quoting the threatening words that were used by my co-worker. The witness, an asian american refused to have witnessed the incident. I was retaliated for making this complaint and it compounded my struggles. I got stamped as a gay, although I was happily married. I got humiliated a number of times in the lab. I could not believe that all these things were happening to me. The university where I worked showed little interest in helping me out. I had to seek therapy to feel better. At some point, I realized that although I loved the work that I was doing and I had carried out my research in that field for a long time, it was time for me to leave. The incidents at work had already made an indescribable amount of damage to my health. I could not eat, could not sleep, had nightmares about the abuses every day, I relived the experience over and over, felt that even god is not going to help me. Meanwhile at work, I got blamed again and again for no reason, I continued to get threatened in the lab, I was not getting the resources on time to do the work and even the resources that I had got targetted. I made another complaint and a few days later when I realized that nothing is getting anywhere, I quit the job indicating the reason.

My mistakes:

I did not realize what was going on until late.
Trusted everyone- a big mistake.
Did not realize that "my friend" was the main bully.
Had faith in the organization, believed that they will understand what is happening.
I thought that everyone is fundamentally good at heart.
I felt that If I do hard work, have determination and put all my mind behind one thing, good things will happen.
Did not learn enough human psychology before I started working.
Communicated clealy and openly to every one.
Was not comfortable telling lies.
Was too much dedicated to the work that I was doing, was too passionate about my research.
Felt that I have the ability to do independent work and I had the confidence to collaborate with others to develop new research directions.

Sorry.. I cannot continue this any more. I will come back and write about everything later. Its Just overwhelming. Time to relax and think about something good.
Unknown on 23 September 2008 20:24:50
The millennium phenomenon of: “TV BULLIES” WHY?

The competing and judging of equals in any area of excellence has always been exciting to watch. Those involved in providing a platform for these talents are to be commended.

However, just recently while watching a popular TV talent show in noticed that there were many clearly unsuitable, innocent, often deluded but no less vulnerable people being paraded in front of a judging panel and I asked myself; is this right, why are these people being treated in this way?

I could not answer this question and it made me realize what I was taking part in when watching this show was little more than playground or workplace “bullying”.
As we all know bullies and their cronies like pick on someone less able to defend themselves, while those watching all too often say and do nothing in some cases actually encourage the bullies to manipulate the situation to the disadvantage of the person being mistreated. Worst still there are those who watch and let the bullying continue even though they are in the position to stop it.

I am asking is it necessary to include these clearly out of place, less fortunate people on these shows to be humiliated in front of millions watching.
Surely the appropriate and kindest thing to do would be to interview them before the show, rather than having them go through this cruel charade on screen.

Some program makers may use as their defence “this is what their audiences want”. However many people also like to watch other inhumane spectacles like; dog fighting, bull fighting etc, yet these are not allowed on TV and for good reason because of they are cruel.

We often ask why do so many people hurt themselves by drink and drugs or are found in rivers or at the end of a rope? Yet we indulge in this type of exploitative entertainment, the pimping of others who are just trying to get through life as we are and who need our consideration and deserve our admiration not mouth covered sniggers and mocking laughter from those born “luckier” than them.

These shows are great stepping stones for people of all ages who have the ability to compete and display their talents; surely the successful contestants who go on to do well on them don’t want to achieve their dreams at the expense of others less able.

We need these people more than we appreciate; can you imagine a world full of all singing, all dancing, perfectly formed and groomed individuals, scary isn’t it? Let’s not treat them like this any more.

I am asking all who believe this to be wrong to: Start; talking, writing, phoning, emailing, texting, blogging, podcasting, visiting those involved in this practice and perhaps we will help to bring it to an end.
Let’s urge program producers, managers and presenters to change this part of their shows and find other ways to produce stars that spare these susceptible people this indignity.
FRCOLLINS on 30 September 2008 14:28:06
Just want to add another voice to the Workplace Bullying problem. One of the biggest challenges is getting management to admit there's an elephant in the room; WPB stinks, it uses up approx $30,000 per year in company funds PER bullied worker, and you have to figure in the (company) the time the bully spends spraying on "his territory" and explaining why his behaviour is totally appropriate for the workplace....
FedUp on 26 October 2008 18:44:08
I work in a family owned business. My boss loves to act smart as if he knows the best of everything (but he doesn't). Also responsibilities come in numbers even though they are not a part of my work profile. He does not acknowledge overburdening of work. He wants to pay peanuts. I just hope i get out of this job soon. Unprofessionalism is all i can describe my work place about.
Troubled Indian Workplace on 08 November 2008 07:50:07
My boss in in his 60's and I am the IT manager. He sets stupid targets, has no clue about IT at all, talks about me behind my back, asks for things to be done then forgets he has asked, calls me at 3:15am to ask questions, complains that his internet connection (3G) has stopped working or the signal is low even though he is in the USA and I am in the UK (what am I supposed to do about it?) Takes everyone elses word before mine then assumes they are all correct. Will not spend money on the firm, tries to get me to use cracked copies of software because its too expensive then buys 2 boats and spends over £1million on them both. Offers my services to all his friends.... the list is endless.

The issue I have is that he will never do any of this to my face, he knows that I will shoot him down so its all done behind closed doors in meetings etc and I get to hear about it after the meeting. It makes me look stupid in front of everyone at that meeting and this happens almost every day. He is a true bully as he never every talks to me to my face. I once asked him why he does it and he said "I don't know, its just the way I feel".
Anonymous on 01 December 2008 18:49:30
In this economy - how can person find another job to get away from a workplace bully? I can't even think when I am off work - I am so traumatized. And what kind of a reference will the bully give?
Anonymous on 07 December 2008 21:31:29
Hi, I've been with an organization for over 7 years. Once a supervisor who was demoted because of a bad situation i found was my fault. I was considered a liar which coworkers turned against because of my fault. I admitted that i lied BecAUSE OF MY sudden reaction and pressure from my supervior. Since then and now, i still get bad looks, lack of interactions from coworkers because of my supervisor spreading my fault to everyone in my department. denied promotions and still fight for raises promised after having good evaluations. My supervisor continues to make my life a living hell. Everyone on my job still treats my like trass and someone who does not exist . i see a therapy and take medications for my stress. today no one likes me and wish i would resign. please help i feel like a failure. i can't talk to my supervisor after turning coworkers against about how i feel.
Anonymous on 19 January 2009 17:49:50
Hi,

I want to know what to do if the boss is manager, owns the firm. has no HR dept etc...

I Have given notice I will be leaving anyway in few weeks but each day is like hell now.

what can I do??

Can i leave ealier then by notice period?
Anonymous on 30 January 2009 12:11:51
p.s. I have found new job this is what started my boss to bully me because he is not happy i'm leaving.
please help???
Anonymous on 30 January 2009 12:14:33
I just quit my job because my boss (vice principal) is probably the biggest prick I have ever met in my existence.

It feels good being able to stick it to the man.

Asshole bosses are wastes of skin. Pathetic human beings who have no soul. They deserve to go to hell.
Anonymous on 05 June 2009 23:32:04
My boss bulies me as well. I work in the company for 8 months and have been constatly bullied almost every single day. Just to name few things: constant criticism, regular threats to sack, refusing giving me a contract because she does not know if she wants to work with me or not, blaming me for everything including for someone else mistakes, talking to me in a degrading manners, makes me work extremely extended hours, refusing to give me my holidays. I cant leave because of financial commitments but i am going to go to my GP to get a sick note and go on a stress related leave and then I will start greviance procedure and probably continue in Tribunal. I was scared so much, but now realise that I cant let it go just like this for nothing. I will try to get as much as i can from that bastards. Assholes should be punished.
Anonymous on 14 June 2009 03:13:38
I already posted my comment under "help", but when I kept reading, I was FLABBERGASTED! What has happened to the workplace? I agree with anonymous on smile, smile, they want you to be miserable. Also, take notes, and third, talk to a lawyer. I am thinking about this because my boss has been getting away with this for years and it makes me want to puke! You should NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH CRAP WHEN YOU WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!
not going to be a victim on 26 August 2009 03:42:03
i work for a woman who does nothing but brings all her staff down and shouts at you but she thinks she is just talking to you. it is starting to affect me as i take everything serious she says to me and i dread going into work as you never no what mood she is going to be in.
noreen on 02 September 2009 18:40:32
i was bullied for sometime around 5 months
but the manager left due to not being job there for him.
he bullied me in many ways. hes still on the shops books just moved down road to another store after doing this should i be able to put up with this? thinking about taking grievence out against him as its been getting me down that he can get away with this
Anonymous on 10 September 2009 19:25:27
I work for a charity (and from other postings this type of workplace seems particularly aligned with bullying) quite ironic. The top (and only) manager where I work has unusual management skills, outsources everything that used to be in her predecessors job description is super friendly and acts like everything is wonderful - until something needs addressed that is negative then she can't cope at all and starts laying blame and freaking out - crying, overreacting, thinking the office is against her. It is a one tiered management system with a Board of Directors above who know nothing of the day to day running of the office. A board she has hand picked and gotten rid of anyone who has challenged her. She put me in a terrible position by telling me organisational issues about to happen which were directly related to our pay and conditions and told me not to tell anyone (my colleagues and friends). She heard me talking to someone and thought I was speaking to them of the "secrets" which I wasn't and screamed at me and ran out of the office crying - quite bizaar beahviour for a top level manager. We are overworked, understaffed and she has no idea the labour intensive jobs she 'puts the organisation up for' and doesn't care as long as her life is happy. I am however, very depressed and feel sick going to work everyday - the office is full of stressed and unhappy workers.
Anonymous on 17 October 2009 08:34:03
The government in my jurisdiction is presently looking at legislation on Bullying in the Workplace. Bullying is hard to prove, but I think that if good records are kept someone in the Company would at least listen to your concerns. If facts are noted and not any personal comments, then focus on the behaviour rather than the the whys. There probably are no whys. Any emotional abuse should not be tolerated. The employer is responsible to provide a safe working environment. Check company polices and make complaints as per the Company procedures or Union procedures. No one is alone. I am currently being bullied. It is hard to think that this is actually happening, but it is. I am reading up a lot of legistlation and what my rights are. That is all I can go by. I am planning to work with support groups to get through this. See how long it lasts......
Another Anonymous Target on 11 November 2009 23:58:09
II work for a Local Authority in South Wales. My boss is trying to bully me and two other colleagues in my team. She has no idea of the stress that we are normally under and has set impossible deadlines for completed reports. The demands are unreasonable and her attitude means she treats us with distain. She is protected by the service manager and the rest management team who just let her get on with it. I am fed up now and so are my colleagues, if she continues it will only be a matter of time before we take action and a grievance to our union to intervene. Get the backing of your union make sure you join your trade union especially if you are in the public sector the public sector has more than it’s fair share of bully managers. Can anybody tell me why that is?
Redrobo on 12 December 2009 13:27:00
i also work for a local authority in south wales, and my boss is also bullying me and my the other two collegues on my team! we have tried to bring her unproffesional behavior to the attention of her superiors, but they were not interested. i recently met with my union representative who was very supportive as she has encountered her before. i have watched this woman bully other collegues in the past and it made me feel terrible! like i was back in school watchin another kid gettin bullied, but not wanting to make a stand incase its you next in line to be tormented! unfortunatly i have become her new target. i am desparatly seeking new employment. i know she is just a terrible person and must have serious insecurity problems, but i can't help but wonder: why me?
AnotherDayAnotherDollar on 05 January 2010 13:34:12
i have a manager you never know what mood he is going to be in ,if he's a bad one watch out he shouts at you in front of everyone .if something go's worng he takes it out on the staff
you should like going to ,not at how shop.
our boss has got to go.
shop work on 12 January 2010 10:10:16
My boss set me up to not apply for team leader position because she said I could be an independent manager instead. Well that promotion never happened and now even though I know as much as the minions she promoted, I'm left out. I'm told everything that I did wrong in front of my whole department at our meetings. People in other departments said that she is just afraid of me because I don't need her and I actually am the one who figures out complicated problems. My coworkers from my department complain to me about her but in meetings they side with her and attack me and say they wouldn't have done things the way that I did them. A bunch of ass-kissing phonies. Very depressing to go to work every day. The owner of our company knows that my boss is a problem but everyone feels that she's too afraid of my boss to fire her. My boss is very unstable and cries if you say things she doesn't like. Can you imagine a boss who cries if you confront her? Yet she sure likes to dish it out! I can't stand it anymore. But with this economy and my age, there's no place to go.
PhedUp on 18 February 2010 02:09:16
My boss is a French guy who just cannot respect any other nationality. He's highly racist and treats all of us like piece of sh**. We are all underpaid employees and are stuck only because it's recession, hope he understands this someday... he will also understand why his employees are not productive.

1) He would barge into the meeting room even if you were with your client, and insult you

2) He would use all sort of foul language in the office

3) He would call your extention and call you in his office immediately, and when you go, he'd just be like 'when did I call you, f*** off!

4) He would read all your inbox and outbox from the server directly, and leave stupid comments which outrage you.

5) Would purposely give you tasks during lunch and exit time, and not allow you to leave... We are then forced to go without lunch because lunch time is only allowed between 1-2.

There are many other reasons which just make us feel life would have been so good with 11 months of annual leave and 1 month of work... hahaha
Stressed-out on 23 February 2010 07:37:39
These days I'm in a job I actually like with loads of overtime and opportunities to save, I have a laugh with my colleagues and even our manager's a pretty cool dude, but it was a completely different story a year ago. I was working in telesales and my job title was "Call Centre Personnel". What a joke! Call centres are nice and anonymous with the support network there if you need it. This was an office the size of a goldfish bowl and even less privacy. No private meeting rooms and because it's telesales of course there's an incredibly high turnover of staff, so as a result whenever anyone did get fired, they'd just get taken to the other side of the room and everyone could hear what was going on. The boss was also too tight to fork out for a computer so everyone's personal information is written down where anyone can see it, which I'll come to in a minute. He was not only a total dickhead but he had his 3 favourite members of staff too - two guys and a girl - who would grass everyone up given half a chance, and he did nothing to discourage this. When he fired one girl, we heard that one of his suckers was sitting in on it, which is surely unethical. One day I'd come down with a really horrible cold and I'd spent the whole weekend feeling like shit but hoping I'd be feeling better by the Monday. I wasn't, so I phoned to let him know I wouldn't be coming in. His response was to basically call me a liar over the phone because he "didn't believe in illness". I pointed out that if he didn't like it he'd have to fire me but I'd see him in court, and that even if I wasn't feeling ill when I picked the phone up his attitude was making me want to puke so I'd appreciate it if he didn't call me a liar. When I went in the next day I found one of my colleagues on the floor of the Ladies' having an asthma attack so I had to call an ambulance. Luckily they got there really quickly but as they were carting her out of the building he shouted after her, "Don't be all day! The MD's coming in later!" All he gave a f*** about was targets and covering his own fat arse. I wasn't particularly friendly with this woman myself but he could at least have called the hospital to ask how she was. Four times every day - at the start of the shift and after lunch and both paid breaks - he would spend half an hour telling us how we needed to work harder and then in the same breath that no matter what we did we would never make as much money as he did, that with all his hard work he's got a really posh penthouse flat in Birmingham city centre and a fancy car and that made him better than us - fact! I knew there must be people who do still think like that but at least most of them have got the decency to hide it! This dude was a megalomaniac and entirely unembarrassed about it. I once pointed out to him that he was spending a total of 2 hours each day giving us his little pep talks - 2 hours in which we could have actually been hitting targets and making money for ourselves and him and keeping Mr MD happy. He couldn't think what to say to that and just told me I had to learn to respect management. I toughed it out for 3 months until one Thursday when I'd arranged to meet friends after work for a pint. We'd all had a pretty crap day saleswise and he said we had to stay for an extra hour after work. I couldn't have anyway but when I learned we wouldn't even be paid the overtime I refused point blank to let myself be exploited, to which he gave me the choice between that or not having a job. I think that's the first time in my life I've actually been relieved to get the sack. Mind you I'm British and we have instant access to benefits the minute we lose a job through no fault of our own. Any other country in the world and I'd be screwed. Anyway I digress - my elation was short lived. A few days later I was sitting around at home when my mobile rang with a withheld number. It was a bloke claiming to be from a waste disposal company who had got my details from the Job Centre and he wanted to interview me for an admin position. Alarm bells started ringing - since when do the Job Centre give out people's details? When you're signing on you're expected to seek work yourself - hence the name Job SEEKER's Allowance. So who else could know I was signing on? Then the penny dropped - when I put my claim in the DSS must have contacted the boss just to confirm that I really had been fired as opposed to walked out (in the UK you can't claim social security if you've purposely made yourself unemployed) and of course, being the discreet bloke he was he must've been discussing my business in front of people who had no right to hear it! And he had given those same unauthorised staff access to his diary with all the phone numbers in it when he couldn't be arsed to make his own calls. I decided to humour this bloke and told him I'd call back when I'd done some research on the company - which I did. I rang the number of his "company", turned out it was real all right but the number had changed! The next day I got the same phone call from a woman, only this time the "workplace" was a fancy dress shop that she'd probably made up. Again, I fobbed her off with the same excuse cuz I wasn't sure how to play it. One thing I had decided, though, any more anonymous calls and I'm not answering it. Anyone genuine will leave me a message. My phone rang a couple more times in the next 5 minutes - withheld both times so I ignored it. When it rang again it did have a number on it - a Birmingham one, so I did answer, expecting it to be one of the job agencies I had registered with. Instead it was another man, introducing himself as "Derek from the Job Centre" - bullshit, there's no one called Derek at the Job Centre! - and how he was cutting off my Job Seekers' Allowance because he'd had complaints from employers that I wasn't answering my phone. By that stage I was starting to feel pretty f***ing angry at the boss's blatant disregard for my private information but the guy hung up before I could get a chance to tell him to stop ringing me and to get his twatty mates to stop too. I tried calling back the number shown on the call ID, but it didn't take incoming calls. That's when I knew for sure the calls had come from the office and although I had no proof I knew it had been the boss's 3 stooges making them. It was almost six so I knew I couldn't do anything about it that evening, but I got up very early the next morning, timed it so I was at the office for 9:15 and made sure I barged in right in the middle of the boss's I'm-better-than-you speech. I had a real go at him in front of everyone about putting my private information into a position where it can be seen by non-management and of course he denied it had anything to do with him. I showed him the number I had, and he went white as a sheet, admitting that was the outbound number for the call centre and apologies if anyone had abused that but he wasn't aware of it. I then told him it was his responsibility to know who was looking at confidential details about anything, particularly staff records, and here was the deal - I'd keep my mouth shut about the phone calls providing he supplied me with a glowing reference and didn't talk shit about me to future employers about me being fired for not hitting targets. "Otherwise," I warned him, "I'll be straight to your MD and telling him about your breach of data protection which is a sackable offence, and you can kiss goodbye to your fat bank account, nice car and f*** pad in the city centre where you can take any chick, and it'll be this bunch of retards that are better than you! And how embarrassing will that be?" One of the boss's stooges gave me a look like a piece of shit and asked what made him think anyone from the office had been ringing me. I glared back and told the pathetic little sycophant not to insult my f***ing intelligence any more than he already had, and stormed out again. When I started the job I've got now - still call centre work but inbound this time, so no targets to worry about, and the people there are interested in stuff other than money! - the boss was chasing up my references for the last year and told me everyone had said really nice things about me so clearly Dickhead decided to do the right thing for once! I would've liked to not have to blackmail him but hey, sometimes ya gotta do the right thing for the right reason ain't ya? He was a bullying twat and all I did was give him a taste of his own medicine. Like one or two people above have mentioned, turn the situation to your advantage. I did and I don't regret it at all. Just remember being your boss doesn't mean they're better than you and you'll all be fine.
Jan on 22 March 2010 13:29:42
I was friends with my boss when she started and we used to have a good time and talk and laugh together and talk about things in our personal life. I had been doing a good job handling our recruitment in the HR department and people were saying so. I was trying very hard at my job and staying back even to try to get things done properly. Suddenly about 6 months into our working relationship she went sour and wouldn't speak to me any more except to say hello in the morning and goodbye in the afternoon. She began picking at every piece of work I did making me think I had problems with my accuracy and attention to detail. In meetings she would make rebuke me in front of others to the point where I felt like I was afraid to open my mouth. She would give me tasks to do that I had never done before and expect them to be done and just walk off. I cried once because I didn't want to get it wrong and didn't know what to do because she was no help to me. We sat in very close quarters. Fancy sitting only a 2 body lengths away from you and them not speaking to you all day. She also stopped asking me any questions and went to other people to find the answers directly. At first I didn't want to believe there was something wrong, it became clear when I confronted her about it and said how it was making me feel uncomfortable and asked if there were any issues she had with me. I said do you realise you have not been speaking to me at all? She just coldly looked at me and said what can I do about that with no emotion, like she could care less. This proved that there was definately something going on. Things continued to get worse this went on for 5 months, I took it to her boss over her and she was furious with me and then started talking to me about alleged performance issues that I had in my job. Why had she not spoken to me about any of these before this? She also gave me a book on how to handle rejection as if it was me who had the problem. haha. She convinced her manager I think that something was wrong with me. Then after some things I tried to do with no assistance from her (even though it was something I had never done before and she did not help me) something went wrong with it and she threatened me with a warning letter. This was the last straw, I resigned after this. She was the HR manager too so where else could I go. I think it may have started after I told her that there were two guys in the office who hit on me. Maybe she got jealous I don't know. I like some people on this forum feel like I can't trust women anymore and seem to have more male friends.
Ruth on 13 April 2010 13:08:49
I'm female who had a female boss that belittled everyone. I worked a reception job and she was in charge of payroll. Was unfortunately good friends with the owners too. I remember her yelling and almost becoming physical with a girl, over messing up her check and not having it for the 3rd time after she'd quit, so was understandable she wanted it. Came all the way up to get it from out of state after she told her they had it. After the fight in the lobby, this girl left empty handed and the owners came out of hiding asking if she's gone yet, then they all began laughing about it. Making racial "black" jokes how she probably wanted it for crack. So you couldn't go to anybody higher up.

I had to direct her calls and never knew when she'd flip out. She slammed her door (which was right behind me), hit me and others frequently in head with rolled up papers, and threw pens on my desk (and I mean HARD so I had to go picking them up as they flew all over the place.) So generally I was ducking everytime she'd walk by. Sometimes it actually hurt, but hurt my ego more because she'd do it in front of everyone. Insulted everything we did no matter what. Just alot of unnecessary stress she's inflict on herself and others. It made me so nervous I remember after her having a total meltdown, it left me so shaken I forgot how to use the fax machine lol. I couldn't perform my job because I was just waiting to get pounced on. Is hard to explain if you're not actually witnessing it. Is hard to believe it I'm sure. But this actually happened. I finally resigned day after she stood over me while I was doing paper work to tell me what I worthless piece of shit I was. How I never do anything right and then said, "your job isn't HARD...it maybe hard to YOU!" I wanted to leave right then but instead I just stopped coming in all together. Was the worst time in my life I was working there.
Anonymous on 21 April 2010 15:54:34
Oh, should have mentioned this too. While I was doing some filing in the office, I saw her and a friend (that worked there too) snooping through employee's applications and personal files. Reading out loud and laughing. Seeing how much people made at previous jobs, just being nosy. And other people even in janitorial services were going through them, anybody she thought wouldn't tell. But if you wanted to see your own she wouldn't let you. Personal report I mean. Lot of gossip, lots of things going on that shouldn't have.
Anonymous on 21 April 2010 16:10:34
My supervisor is acting like a b"" She is mad ata me from the very beginning of my work because I was not "open" about my personal life and the stuff that has nothing to do with work place like religious beliefs, political views and views on gay people and abortion (what that has to do with work issues??). She keeps ignoring my questions so other people standing close to me have to ask them to her and then she answers. Today she was looking at one magazine that came in mail and it was a clothing magazine (chadwicks) and she made a remark that she would "never wear anything that revealing and cheap". She is in her 60s and if you know chadwicks it is more for my age group (30s) and I said that it was not like Bedford fair (which she finds skimpy once on a while!) and possibly it was for other age group, like maybe... for mine... and that started the fire... She is also using weird techniques like indirect insult. Example: someone comes in and gives my a compliment to my hair (it was an older lady actually) and guess what? - after the complimenter leaves, she goes to my co-worker of almost her age and tell her that "long hair is good only on the pillow" and giggles innaturally........ Also she is always critisizes my food (thinking that I am eating weird things from my home country) although it can be veggies from Costco..... HR is worthless... why is that? They are friendly to corporation, who wants a mess or scandal? But I heard from her former employee that she was trying to find out what guy I am dating.... How is that for business talks? tired of it, too educated to be her level...
sleepless-in-MT on 26 May 2010 06:30:52
So is there any legal recourse? It's nice to see I'm not the only one (and that there is a such thing as bullying by management), but I need to know what I can do if I get fired. Right now my every move is being watched in a way that is making me terrified that eventually the boss will find something that he can fire me about. Like all of you, there is no reason for this treatment toward me, so I need to know what to do if I am terminated.
Jon on 16 June 2010 02:07:47
At [...] Nursing Home in Halifax, Nova Scotia, the longest serving deadwood have the exclusivity of working in the establishment. Too much backbiting from the longest serving bosses down to the shit cleaners. They have some things in common: little education, have liking to gossip, they have bedfellowship with Philipino workers (30%) imported by one co-owner married to a Philipino.
For newly recruited staff, there is a high staff turnover. If you can't stand the gossip, the smelly resident's rooms or the rotten administration, or worse still the official Philipino vernacular spoken along the corridors and offices, then you are surely destined to abscond by the second day.
The imported semi-educated Philipinos backbite those they don't like. Most of the slightly qualified RNs have been made section bosses. They speak a language similar to English, if not speaking their vernacular. They are the most dreaded workplace bullies! An investigative journalist posing as a PCW will soon spill out an expose of the rot in that work place. If nobody intervenes, something big is bound to happen in that rathole more than the current resident mortality of one resident dying every three weeks. If you doubt, get the statistics of the resident exodus and deaths. Empty beds testify this.
Betty Chapman on 07 July 2010 02:35:38
My boss is the CEO of the company. The best part is she lied her up through interview to get the position and she's been lying since then. She claimed she has a phD and what we found out , she got it overnight through some virtual university online. Our Office starts at 8.30am but she'll come in at 11.am or 3pm or not at all. best part is she can even go shopping during working hours ! Its just so pain stricken when she picks on us the managers ... She would just spend her time in office picking on people's behaviors and would go on and on for hours . She expects managers to brief on everything of the company! The best part is her boss knows about all these and does nothing..all he's saying is wait till the end of the contract ... well that's another 1 year to go ! She would pick on me day in and out ... but when I'm in her room she does not say anything ! I reckon she sees me as a threat as she's just so inexperience in the industry. Imagine from a secretary to a CEO !
Sammy Joe on 10 July 2010 09:20:01
i am getting bullid by a manger at work dont now if i can take them to court she is all ways makeing me up set and i fill like to kill my self because of this shit
dazzyboy on 11 July 2010 06:30:00
What can be done with bulling of manager,supervior neither one has a college degree. are spanish one around firing any one if you do not speak their languag. fine a way to fire you are have you feeling like you a third class citizen. the manager who is spanish so is the supevior. no degree. run around like idiots. try to fine a way to bring you down by other employee. fine coworker who do not like you come inthe office goes inthe room close the door. to fine out things bout you that makes no sense. you cannot go to hr. because they all work together aganist you. you do not know who to trust. next manager coming to you with negative about you .HOW do these people keep theri jobs. Because their uneducated this is how they have to bully the employee that they do not like. what can be done about people like this. who allow them to keep their jobs? they are nothing but liar. try to intimadate you if they can. you work you butt off. supervisor will make you feel crap.
anonymous on 12 July 2010 05:27:09
My boss is a dictatorial monster who seems to feel that if anything in your private life is disagreeable to him it can and will be an employment issue.
After being a widower for a number of years I recently remarried. My wife is several years younger than I, very attractive, and an avid naturist. While I don't participate in that aspect of her life, I understand that that is part of what makes her the woman I love. Somehow the dictator found out about it and was irate. He called me into his office and told me that if my wife didn't curtail her "deviant tendencies" he would fire me.
I told him that what she does is her business, and I don't even have the right to tell her that she must dissociate herself from an integral part of who she was before we wed. The boss said it reflected poorly on the company, and the directors would endorse his firing of me if she didn't quit.
One of the directors is a member of the naturist club my wife belongs to. She told him, and since then, the tyrant has backed off a bit, but now regularly insults me and announces to anyone that will listen that my wife is a nudist.
I have asked him to quit, but he says "rank has its privileges", and apparently tormenting me is one of them. He has told me privately that he will make my life so miserable that I will quit. When I asked why, he simply gave me a smug smirk and said because he can.
I have worked in this office for thirty five years. I haven't called in sick in nearly two decades. I'm never late, my work ethic is good, and I am very competent and knowledgeable in my field. I fail to see why my wife's personal activity should be such a source of concern for him. I have no photos of her "going native", or anything that would even suggest she is a naturist.
I dread going to work everyday now. This job was my source of stability and comfort when my first wife passed away, but now its a private hell, equipped with its own miniature Satan. I wish I could retire, but in this sagging economy that isn't likely.
tired of the abuse on 26 July 2010 14:39:44
My boss nick name in other departments is "Hitler" she has had numerous complaints and the company sweeps it under the rug. I could not take it anymore, I had to take medication to go to work everyday, I talked to HR in May and in July and I said I could not take it anymore. They told me to take some time off with pay on them and they would call me and let me know when I was to come back to work. The called me 2 weeks later and fired me. I do not have any write ups, all my reviews says I am dressed to code. I asked them the reason for termination and they told me I was unprofessional, I asked what exactly what they meant and they said that the decision was final, I asked "was I unprofessional when filing a complaint for harassment?" their response was, that they did not say that and my claim for harassment was not cooberated (spelling sorry it's late). about 75% of my department has contacted me and they never talked to them. Unprofessional was just an excuse, 2 of the 16 people left in our department has filed a complaint since I have gotten fired, one with HR and the other with the CEO. I am contacting attorneys now to file a law suit, my supervisors bullying has gone on for atleast 2 years since I have been there and there are a lot of former employees who walked out because of her. I am older and overweight and the economy is bad. I pray that something happens soon. I can't believe that just because I went to HR and filed a complaint that I got fired. I was not even on their radar before that. I feel like a failure now.
Anonymous on 14 August 2010 05:39:29
Yes I have been bullied also.
I have been embarrassed at the workplace, shouted at, had staff, and management bully me also. But i stood up, won 2 disciplinarians and i have to admit the truth to everybody here.
We just have 'nice' easy going faces. Its psychology.

We are screwed.
In 9 different jobs I have been as nice as I could be, and I'm even trying to put together a home business because of bullying in the workplace.
They Are The Weak. It's a sad shame to see good potential to make the world a better place, wasted.
All my life i have been told the same thing - Now im a cleaner, scrubbing toilets trying to avoid people whom might be nasty. Its not good. Yet I qualified as an electrical engineer. Truth is - I was scared abut being bullied in the workplace and was probably right to avoid it.
My family don't understand, and most won't.
If your on this site, reading this right now, I hold my sympathys to you.
Take good care, I know your all lovely people here bless.
I'm a 25 year old man, and last night i was sat in a chair crying. I'm completely upset over being treated like im stupid and being bullied and embarrassed at work - IN A POLICE STATION. BY POLICE OFFICERS. BULLIED BY POLICE OFFICERS.
So believe it when I say it, these guys are like little girls - and they haven't much better to do.
Don't tolerate it - Be Unreasonable, Be A Problem but for heavens sake - Don't Stay To Prove A Point!!!!!!!
You may win but the victory will be so bitter, your health will have been so drained, that it will be a loss in the end.

Take it from me: Listen to Tony Robbins. Hes a personal help coach, hes amazing. Made me feel better and got my home business on its feet.
Anonymous on 23 August 2010 19:19:00
There should be a law for job bullying.How can this go on?You read about people getting shot in the work place all the time..one of the reason is because of job bullying.There was a person on the radio..that said workers or more productive if their boss is mean...I dont know where he got his research.. but that is not true at all.Most people that I know will do what they have to do and know more. If people have great bosses they will go far and beyond. People only seem like they do what the mean boss says...because they are afraid of losing their jobs..because the mean boss threatens to fire them. My daughter was threaten by her boss because should wouldn't stand where she wanted her too....she was also threaten for asking her co-worker a question. The workers are timed in the bathrooms...This job is the worst job ever...The boss raise their voices at you everyday.This should be out lawed. If I could move to another Country I would...I have friends in other Countries...they said they are stress free in the work place since they left America....They said America dont care about their workers ...they only care about making a dollor...she said America will work you to a heart attack and will let the bosses get away with murder in most states.Virginia is a terrible state to work in....they do nothing about anything...the only thing Virginia cares about is money. They hold bad credit against you, they hold it against you if you change jobs...they want you to stay on the same job forever...you have to find the job that's right for you....Virginia let bosses do whatever they want to you.This Country need big changes in the work place. People please ge your petitions started and change job bullying and credit checks on jobs. STOP JOB BULLYING AND CREDIT CHECKS NOW!!! CRIMAL BACKGROUND CHECKS ONLY!!!
Anonymous on 13 September 2010 23:02:22
my boss has often made me cry in front of collegues she has given me a verbal warning because i never hoovered to her standerd and last week she screamed at me because i made a mistake infront of a parent this made me very embarresed and i was on the verge of leaving but i love my job but i really dont know how much more i can take :-(
titch on 01 October 2010 18:16:22
my boss got a giant promotion and now treats me like a personal slave. she hollers at me, picks at me for miniscule things and leaves me out of projects that all other staff is working on. i cry all the time. just keep it in then go in my car and cry. i finally told some one in the place what is going on but i do not think anyone wil lhelp me at all.

she is very important. i am a secretary
dd on 23 October 2010 14:10:25
I am a automotive tech. in nova scotia canada. my suppervisor is my workplace bully. he doesn't just bully me but he bullies pretty much everybody at my workplace. my boss lets him get away with it because he is a good tech. I have two children and a wife I love. I keep telling myself to ignore him but i am way too emotional to let somone like that walk all over me. THE TIME HAS COME TO DO SOMTHING ABOUT IT! HEADS UP ASSHOLE
Anonymous on 30 November 2010 23:55:19
I am an analyst in a government agency that supposedly prides itself on integrity. I have been working on a project for the past few months with very demanding timeframes. My colleague and I have had to stay up to midnight or later at times to meet deadlines, and when I brought this up my boss emailed me saying that they expected us to finish within normal work hours, even though everyone knows this is impossible with these types of projects. There is no overtime available for staff at my band level. My boss manipulates my comments to make it seem like I'm incompetent, even though I had stellar performance reviews and was viewed by other teams as being one of their top performers for my level. They rarely thank you for working hard and ever since I pointed out an issue with the project's design it has gotten worse. Other analysts have had this same problem with this team, and yet senior management not only condones this bullying, but also rewards it, as evidenced by two senior members of my team receiving performance awards. What utter bullshit.
Anonymous on 03 December 2010 00:51:57
I'd like to make some comments on the statements made, regarding the Filipinos, by Ms. Betty Chapman.

Filipino people are one of the friendliest people on earth.
They are hardworkers (most of them are extra-milers), about 95% of the filipinos have the highest average education in the world, many of them are being exploited by greedy business owners (and why do you think they hire many of them.) If you guys were hardworkers, you don't need to hire Filipinos, Do you? I suggest that you be nice to the Filipinos and you will be very surprised how nice they will be to you.
And many different nationalities can attest to that.

Your comment about the Filipinos are signs of immaturity, lack of education, prejudice, and most of all you're burning with jealousy. So grow up and get on with your life. You'll never build character if you keep on gloating. If you are a highly educated person then, why are working with these low life people?
Anonymous on 09 December 2010 18:07:54
I got hired by a local real estate company as a receptionist. It was the worst place I have ever worked. I had no office/reception experience and I was given a total of one days training by the girl that was leaving. I was left in an office all by myself for 6 weeks. I was told I didn't need to worry about anything other than sending over the paper work and bank deposits to the other office for them to do up, and spending the rest of the time getting to know the agents and answering the phone.
During the final week of my probationary period I was sent to work with another girl in the main office (this was the plan all along since they were closing the other office). The lady that hired me (we will call her Fen) was very chummy with my co-receptionist who had been there for 4 years. (lets call her Tickky) .The two Bit**** would go off to lunch together hardly saying two words to me each day or chatting it up in front of me daily. Fen would be barking orders like the B**** that she was, and Ticky was up the A** of Fen so far that she could strike oil! Tickky was so snotty to me and didn't TRY and train me. She just got me to try certain tasks and then would tear me apart when I did something wrong. ( I thought training was about showing someone how to do something first ). She also didn't like the fact that the agents liked me. ( they didn't seem to like her much and it made her mad that they would being me in a coffee ).
One day (while Ticky was on vacation )I was called into the office by Fen. Apparantly Ticky was crying in Fen's office since Ticky forgot to do a bank deposit and blamed it on me. Ticky didn't show me how to do a bank deposit yet and had the stuff in HER drawer (locked). Yet I was supposed to have TRIED it anyways and have done it anyways according to clueless Fen. Ticky also told Fen (during their lunch or spa appt) that I didn't know the agents by name after 7 weeks. I offered to name them all on the spot to show Ticky was lying. It was clear that Ticky wanted me gone. I guess those mornings I came in early to sort the faxes and get things ready made her look bad, and she hated the agents talking to me.
What happened? I was let go on the last week of my three month probation because Ticky was a lying SOB!!!! I was given notice but I declined and left immediately. Ticky was on holidays and Fen had NOONE to work except a fill in. I then went home and wrote a letter to the owner. It felt good. :) I then found a great job elsewhere and I have been there for years making more money. I hope Karmas a bit** to you both.
Anonymous on 07 January 2011 02:27:58
My heart goes out to all of you. My boss is mentally unstable. She cries at meetings; gets frustrated and leaves meetings; and forgets what she has said to staff. For example, in November, she told us that she was reorganizing our department and that we would need to reapply for our positions. Last week, she sent an email saying she wanted to "lay the rumor mill to rest... that none of us would have to reapply for our jobs." (Excuse me, it's NOT a rumor mill when you announce it at a staff meeting!) She has only been with our company for six months and has taken over 80 hours of PTO. There is no way she negotiated that much time off! Many of her excuses have been odd -- forgot her keys at a conference in another state and needed two days to figure it out, waiting at home for furniture to arrive (all day affair!), plowed in (two days after major snow storm and we were all there), tooth pain, tired, etc. Recently, she has been taking vicodin at work for her tooth pain. Unsurprisingly, the erratic, irrational behavior has gotten worse. The kicker is she wants staff to account for every minute of their time (we're exempt) and asks people to schedule their PTO around work needs. She even made one staff member -- who's out on medical leave -- call in for a meeting. That is just not right! Staff are feeling stressed out and fed up. HR is finally taking notice, but we're wondering if anything will be done to address the behavior. Not sure that I'll be there to find out. I've been with the company for over a decade, but life's too short to be miserable at work. I updated my resume and am looking for other opportunities. It's just too bad that it takes one bad apple to ruin it for everyone...
Miserable in MN on 23 January 2011 04:41:23
I work for a company that is a Franchise. The actually owner use to be y boss but he recent moved back to his home town to open another busy and left his brother in law in charge. I am the only person in the company who is not family. It is me, the owners sister, the owners sisters husband (my manager) an the father of the owner runs the other store he owns in a town close to ours. I am constantly being called names such as moron, dumb ass, i was even referred to as an office bitch. I work ales so I get paid commission and it is suppose to be based of customer referrals. I am always getting screwed when it comes to how I'm paid and the rules we have to determine who gets what customer. My manager also had a meeting with me about a paper I typed up with all his messages on it. He waded it up and threw it in my face and told me to ever type an exclamation mark on his messages...... Im just sick and tired of all the verbal abuse and Im scared to even go to work because i don't know what going to happen and the write me up for stupid stuff. I have no one in the company to talk to cause they are all family. I basically work for a company that reminds me of the crap that goes on in high school, like the finger pointing, rumors, talking behind each others back, and being BULLIED. There is no HR. I think its crap that almost ever reply of advice people receive on here is to quit..... Well it's not right or fair because I love what I do and I shouldn't have to quit or be punished for what they are doing to me. HELP!!! What can I do????????? Any advice please e-mail me at typicalfemale_18@hotmail.com
sickandtired on 03 February 2011 01:55:56
I seldom leave comments on blog, but I have been to this post which was recommend by my friend, lots of valuable details, thanks again.
rachat de credit on 04 February 2011 16:52:43
this is in regards to the second to last comment asking for help. I understand you are working for a company with employees that are all family members, except for you. Since there is no human resources, (which by the way doesn't work for you but just for the company) you should go to the department of labor, and there are many other federal departments that are around for employees. you can go online to the department of labor and tell them what is happening, especially if there are legal issues such as not getting paid for your hard work. You should try and get in touch with an attorney and see if you can get free legal advice too. However, if you do go to the department of labor, they will need your name and your boss will find out about it, so you should look for a new job. but if you're looking for some payback, the department of labor can make their lives hell, as they have made your life.
anon on 09 February 2011 22:13:03
I am a nursery school supervisor who is being bullied by her boss/owner. I have not been back to work since the christmas break. I am currently signed off sick with severe depression. I have organised a meeting to discuss the bullying and my union rep is going to accompany me. I do not get sick pay so I am reliant on statutory sick pay. I cannot believe how many people are bullied in the work place by their boss. In my setting this seems to be an accepted practice. I have worked there for 10 years. The bullying stated 2 years ago with brief breaks in between ! I have had enough and I am going to take it further if I can. Has anyone else been sucessful in making their bully accountable for the distress and hardship they have caused ?
anon on 10 February 2011 21:37:56
im being bullied at work it started by my co worker and we started saying bad things to each other i thought it was joke at first my boss didnt want to intervine and i started getting stressed and depressed at work other people started bullying and Threatening me and i took time off work, i told my boss everything and when i came back two work i went to fix things with my co worker i though if i tried to be nice to him he might lay off , people were laughing at me but i tried to get on with my job a guy said something wrong to me and i told my boss and my boss sent me to the work docter,my boss said to the work docter that i was delusional and i cant go back to work,im very dissapointed that he would do that to me,all i can say to anyone is if it happends to you be calm and fast make a log of what happends and report is straght away, if you dont it will get worse like in my case,id like to say thanks to the other peoples comments on this page im still not sure what to do try to go back to the job or quit,id say ill go back and show them im not going to be pushed around and treated like that work is hard enought to do with out being bullied
be brave on 11 February 2011 04:07:43
Boss Bullying
It needs to stop!

If I had known back then what I know now,
It would have NEVER happened!

I’m a female and I work at a major hospital in New York City. I was born and raised in America. When I go to work, I feel like I’m entering a third world county.

Being raised to go out into the world and make it on my own not knowing that one day down the road someone would be waiting to take it all away from me.

In all the years I have worked, I never thought that I would end up being supervised by a malicious, vindictive person.

Sure, no boss is perfect but who expects, especially at the latter stages in your life that you would be coming to work to be talked down to, lied on, insulted, criticized, yelled at, screamed at, degraded, tormented, lunch time being stolen from you, being told how lucky you are that you was transferred because if you had to be interviewed they would have never hired you, making fun of your voice and other employees join in making fun of your voice also, making fun of the way you talk, making fun of your headwear, making you cry while they sit there smirking at you, denying you from making more money but making sure other people get it, making sure that whatever positions you apply for that you will never get it, threatening to suspend or fire you if you don’t go see counselors, talking in front of co-workers and outside people about your personal business, telling you you’re not doing enough no matter how hard you try, ordering you to walk quickly to them as if you’re a little puppy dog, telling you how pretty you are while you’re crying and they’re smiling as if it’s a turn on to them, nitpicking at you from the time you walk through the door, always creating small meetings with their friends and their friends sit there staring at you as if they want to help you but they know they better not because they fear him/her, insulting you because of your height, questioning about your personal life, telling you their personal problems, trying to make you feel sorry for them, telling you how stupid other employees are, talking about you when you’re off, making plans for you, telling you what they feel is good for you and what they don’t feel is good for you and whatever else they can think of to put you down and keep you miserable while on the job and as time goes on you find yourself miserable off the job because you know you have to come back.

The weird part is that they will always tell you that you are a very good person, how kind you are, caring, smart, a very good worker and then turn around and start tearing you down again. Every time you think it might get better, it gets worse.

You try to transfer from their department and they stop it. You go to a different department and they stop that also. You know there’s higher paying positions coming up and before you even apply for them, you’re being told that you’re not getting it anyway and not to bother putting in for it. The people that are suppose to help you ends up leaving you to fend for yourself.

They’re always comparing you with other co-workers saying how you should be like them.

Over a period of time you start to wonder if it’s personal or is it an obsession. You begin to feel as if you’re in a world of your own. It can become very scary when they start telling you things like they’re never going to let you go, they have to keep you there, then they raise their voice at you saying that they’re trying their best to make you a better person than what you are and while saying these things their expression changes as if they’re getting annoyed with you because you’re not living up to their standards.

How do we expect our children to tell when they’re being bullied if adults are afraid to tell when they’re being bullied and keeping quiet for fear of losing their jobs.




It’s time for us to stand up for what we believe and stop being
BULLIED!
Anonymous on 14 February 2011 08:49:25
Maybe you'll want to add a twitter button to your website. Just marked down this article, but I must complete this manually. Just my 2 cents.
Car Hire on 29 March 2011 22:52:43
I work in Big Pharma and you would not believe what sales people go through regarding bullying. We have managers that rotate through like they are passing through a revolving door, and you never know what kind of bully you will end up with. It has gotten particularly bad in the past four years, but I started with this company ten years ago under a bully. I should have gotten out then, but like most of you, I had kids to put through college and bills to pay. I now consider myself a whore.
This week it has all come to a head. I can't sleep, I have no sex drive and my spouse isn't even talking to me. He basically is saying "Snap out of it and deal with it". I cried so hard yesterday, I thought I was going to choke. This morning, our bully boss met with my business partner and I and YELLED at us for a half an hour in a hotel restaurant. The server was scared to come to our table. When he left to take a phone call, I felt obliged to apologize for his behaviour. He did the same thing last week in a different hotel restaurant. My partner fights back, but I am too tired and yes him to death. I am 3 years form retirement and she is 4 years away from the magic 55. I don't think either one of us is going to live that long. Both of us are at our wit's end, and don't know how we will survive this guy. BTW-we are hard workers, make this company millions of dollars, and are supportive of each other-thankfully. I just needed to vent and appreciate that you are all in the same position. Thanks for an ear.
Just plain tired on 12 April 2011 18:23:30
My boss is my husband's cousin. He sends me pornographic emails (dirty jokes). Over a year ago I went part time and he agreed to it. He has been bothering me to come back but I say no. He now is trying to threaten me by saying that I can stay part time but eventually he will need someone full time. I don't want to go back full timej he is a freakin weirdo.

In the meantime, he says he wants me back full time but there are a half dozen women in the office who say they have nothing to do.
help me in texas on 19 April 2011 20:13:50
Hi I need to say that nothing has ( changed its just got much much worse since I first wrot on here back in january 7th 2007 at 7.17 ) its very much like being on DEATH ROW this may sound drastic. yet every day Iam wonderging when Iam going to be stabed litulery in the back all because of a FALSE ACCUSER M.T.G who was and is totaly backed up by my manergers and trustees and his friends who listened to him and who made my life an applolute missery ever since I was ( FALSLY ACCUSED, by M.T.G in jan 2002 )YET I came to the charity as I was promised HELP also it was a place of SAFTY and REFUGE from being bullied any more as I was bullied out of my last job in the N.H.S by a female chef also a female manerger and a director in the hospital the director had an M.B.E. for supposedly caring for the public YET I was Black Mailed by him and a female manerger YET also what he was threatening me with was also recored on tape as I was recording myself talking to them so thay could not say I said some thing I did not say the recording was only to protect me it was my PROOf only YET when I came to work in the charity were I work now I was PROMESED that anyone who bullied me would be kicked out YET I quickly found out after that was not the case as after I signed the contract, the bullying started to happen by the manergers and a rich trustee YET as I was very insercuer I wrote down every thing the bullys were and are doing to me YET I even from 2001 to 2010 recorded my self being miss treated by the bullying manergers and certain trustees and there favirote co,workers YET now there is over 780 hours of tape. which my friends have got safly in the house away from the bullys who bully me yet some people may say WHY dont you just leave YET were do I go the charity was there to HELP me yet thay only helped there favirotes so there favirots would back up the manergers and trustees against me so the TRUTH would not come out YET my JERNALS and the TAPES are the TRUTH about how I was and am being treated in this charity were I live YET about TWO years ago I rang a NEWS PAPER front desk. the news women said to me when she rang me back and left a message on my phone to ring her she said to me when I rang her back she said that I should talk to the charity commision as the she could not do anything untill I had spoken to the comission, yet I thought that was a bit strange coming from a news paper YET I rang the charity commision and I was told I would have to get at least four other co,workers to WRITE letters to the charity commision saying what was happening towards the ones being bullied YET I know to ask other co,workers who also have been bullied by the manergers to write a letter to the chaity commision thay would not do it so were does that leave me YET heres me who has the PROOF of how and who is intimadating me and bullying and blackmailing me YET know one seems to care about the TRUTH also the manergers have said to me thay CANT get done as thay have rich also very powerfull people on there sides to get them out of any trouble there is also on manerger who has said to me that he has a friend who is a solisiter who owes him as he did some thing for her in the past and he has said he has another friend who has just become a judge and she has friends who can get the manerger out of any trouble so I have been told that you on your own who is going to HELP yet these are the charity manergers and trustees who said there here to HELP the VONRIBAL HOMLESS people in there CARE. p.s sorry about the spelling as I have dislexia
STEVE ROY on 25 April 2011 15:23:42
OK I have to add this note my manergers have said to me there are TWO SIDES TO A STORY there side and my side who will belive you there is more people for the manergers than for you YET I thought that maybe correct YET I have the REAL TRUTH on TAPE all 780 hours of the REAL TRUTH how can anyone DISSPUTE that yet I have had a rich arogant trustee who is worth £ 180 million pounds and has very powerfull people on his side who has said to me that he does not CARE ahow many tapes I have non of them will be listened to and if an of the co,workers here that your taping them thay will not like it yet I was not taping any one only the ones who were bullying and intimadating me daily that all I was recording my self just for my PROOF so know one could say its not going on when the tapes PROOV it is going on towards me the tapes are only for the REAL TRUTH.
STEVE ROY on 25 April 2011 16:03:43
OK one other thing is that the english work law is diffrent to the AMERICAN work law the english work law DOES NOT CARE FOR people like me in the postion Iam in working for a so called CHARITY as the manergers and trustees have more RIGHT than I do as I have been told for years that I DONT have any RIGHTS in the charity. also in 2006 one of my manergers TRYED to LABEL me depressed yet my doctor said that Iam not depressed then my manergers said if the doctor cant see it maybe you will have to see another doctor so it went on and at every profesonal I saw thay said the same that I was not suffering depresion YET I had said that Iam under alot of STRESS because of what Iam going through by my manergeres and trustees and there favirots, were I work I also said I have suffered so much STRESS more than I have ever in my entire LIFE even my ( christian counciler said to me in 2004 he said whay your manergers have done to you could take years to irradicate if ever and what little self esteam you have left thay are DESTROYING. )
STEVE ROY on 25 April 2011 16:20:33
HI there again I have so much to say as do others here who have and are being intimadated and bullied, as I have put in another comment what my CHRISTIAN COUNCILER said to me in ( 2004. 2005 ) he said what your manergers have done to you could take years to iraddicate if ever and what little self esteam you have left thay are DESTROYING, thay have given you much more problems than what you have YET thay have not done there ( DUTY OF CARE ) towards you like thay were supposed to have done thay have realy let you down while helping the ones thay wanted to help people like them selfs also I was told years ago by some one that when a lie is big enough every one can belive it even your friends who you have none for years, YET REAL TRUE FRIENDS are hard to come by yet when you have thoses sort of best friends thay will stick with you know matter what thay are friends for life. and you can HELP each other through any thing YET how many people have true friends like that thay are few and far between HOW many people say thay had friends in work for years good friends so you thought then a NEW manerger comes into the job and with in 3 to 5 months TURNS every one against you including your so called good or best friends it does happen as Bullys can turn your friends against you within months. so mush so it can deverstate you into sickness in some way YET as I have said I came to work a charity were I was PROMISED right from the start that thay are there to help me and others like me who NEED HELP YET many times I have cryed out for HELP yet was just told by the christian manergers at the time to just RISE ABOVE IT YOUR A CHRISTIAN YET when it affected the manergers in any way thay kicked the bully out of the job, YET I had to put up with the bullying towards me for years which did me so much damege as my christian counciler told me years ago its YOUR MANERGERS who havent done there ( DUTY OF CARE TOWARDS YOU ) who have coursed you more PROBLEMS to your LIFE, which should not have been aloud to happen towords you as the manergers are PAID good MONEY to supposedly HELP YOU in the way thay PROMISED thay would right from the start when you started the job in the charity for the vonribal homless people like your self MY christian counciler was very CONCERNED, in the ways my manergers and trustees and there favirotes were and are TREATING me and others like me YET there are some very big well none CELEBRITYS who back the charity I work for how much do thay realy know what is realy going on towards the vonribal homless people in the care of the charity I work for or do thay just think like the manergers and trustees and there favirotes of the charity as LONG as it does not AFFECT the CELEBRITYS thay DONT CARE untill it starts affecting them in some way. YET I could give the names of the CELEBRITYS YET that would say the name of the charity I work for and at this point I could not afford any more problems towards me in this charity so I will keep the CELEBRITYS names out of it for now YET its only to safe gaurd my life from any more pain and suffering, towards myself in any way YET one thing I have to say is there is at least ( 800 ) co,workers past and present along with the manergers and trustees who back the false accusing intimadating bullys towards me in some way and I do have PROOF of whats going on towards me in the charity, as I have said earlyer before also Iam in alot of debt all because of the manergers who said to me right from the start that thay will be sorting out my ( N.I. ) yet I said also on the same day that I will pay my own ( N.I. ) yet again I was told I dont have to pay the manergers will sort it out you DONT have to WORRY leave it with them as you WORRY to much then I was told if I pay for my own ( N.I. ) I will be bringing the charity into dissrepute and rocking the boat and you will have to leve just leave it to the manergers thay will sort it all out so thats what I did I left it to the manergers to sort out YET kept on asking over the WEEKS and MONTHS and YEARS about my ( N.I. ) YET I was told the same sort of thing the manergers are sorting it out DONT WORRY you are COVERED with your PENSION the GOUVERMENT will make up the short fall DONT worry, leave it with the manergers YET when I got a pensions read out the PENSIONS people sent me a letter saying that I was £ 3500 behind in my ( N.I. ) my manergers had not sorted it out like thay PROMISED me thay would back in ( DEC 2001 ) YET I came to the charity with only £300 pounds DEBT now since I have been in the charity now for nearly 10 years Iam in DEBT for more than I ever have been in my ENTIRE LIFE my manergers have increast my debt tremendously all BECAUSE thay didnt want me to PAY MY OWN ( N.I. ) so anyone can see how my manergers and trustees have ABUSED THERE DUTY OF CARE TOWARDS ME in such a way, YET I have been told last year in my three monthly review NOW you can PAY your own ( N.I. ) you can go out and get a job out side the charity, to pay back the money to the ( N.I. ) or you can pay it out of what you get from the charity I work for here YET how can I pay back the money to ( N.I. ) when my manergers were suposedly be sorting it all out as thay PROMISED me from the start in ( DEC 2001 its now april 2011 and now Iam in much more debt all because of my manergers TOTAL LACK OF DUTY OF CARE towrds me a vonribal homless man so WHO REAL DOES CARE about how I have been treated DOES the gouverment thats a ( big know ) as the gouverment totaly BACK the manergers and trustees in the chaity along with certain well none CELBRITYS. thay DONT CARE if thay did I would not be in this big MESS now all because of the manergers and trustees my counciler said to me thay only care for them selfs and how others see them as caring manergers.
STEVE ROY on 26 April 2011 18:33:39
I work for a complete moron - who says he needs to understand my work life balance and that he questioned my hours as being too much....and could justify why I spent some much time at work!! Well if the f***** did not realize how much crap he piled on me and then goes off and hires a total wingnuts then I would not be working crazy hours.
Oh and ever since this ahole got the job magically my yearly ratings have gone down....bastard f***tard.....
unhappy and working my f***** ass off on 01 August 2011 01:56:20
I work for a large retail company in the UK. I would advise caution about raising grievances with management/head office especially when you are being bullied by more than one person. After the bullying started by 5 people (after one co worker who used to be my best friend spread lies about what I had been saying about them) I initially did nothing. I then raised a grievance about bullying which came back as unfounded, the bullying got worse and I ended up being signed off sick by my GP for 3 months and being sent for counselling. I then raised a further grievance which was supported by dates and times etc I have today recieved a letter saying that the bullying is unfounded. I would advise anyone in a similiar situation to get out as frequently the bullies are good friends with floor managers. As a result they will cover for them and not back up any conversations you have had and alongside senior management will do everything they can to make you look like a liar.
After everything I have gone through I would advise people to get out ASAP, get another job and get counselling. Whilst I accept it needs to be reported until the laws in the UK change that protect firms that allow bullying to happen then companies etc will refuse to acknowledge bullying happens.
Anonymous on 03 August 2011 14:09:51
I would also like to add that frequently the bullies are very manipulative and can easily get people to believe them over you. It has made me feel very scared about getting a new job in case it happens again but hopefully in time this will just feel like a bad dream and karma will punish the bullies with a taste of their own medicine.
Anonymous on 03 August 2011 14:33:06
I've just decided to fire my supervisor, as well as the company owners that promoted her over the overwhelming evidence that no one could or wanted to work under her. I'm 3 months into the job (it's seasonal anyway) and fortunately I have another option.
It's a tiny company and what used to be a friendly, easygoing atmosphere has changed, according to the coworkers who are still there (but not after this year, if she stays on).
Basically, the behaviors are pretty easy to see:
Multi-page letters written to me, with copies to the owners and other coworkers, in red pen, some words double or triple underlined, accusing me of such things as: "hovering" over a coworker when that person is trying to cash out at the end of the day; "poor attitude" toward coworkers; not being adequately attentive to the supervisor; violating various unspoken rules which she just made up while she was thinking about them; lack of thorough training from the beginning; lack of adequate written instructions about various operations; lack of an employee handbook; two-faced behavior; inability to discuss an issue in an adult manner; "reporting" me to the owner, like tattling to mommy & daddy; wheedling when she wants something and crucifying you when you let her down in some way unknown to you.
I don't sleep well on the nights before I'm scheduled to work with her the following day.
I've shown her red-pen letters to friends and the first thing they said was she wants to force me to quit.
But she can't, because they're short-staffed and we're coming into the busy season.
Just last Monday I got another red-pen letter from her, accusing me of violating a rule she had actually just invented, as well as implying that I'm not working up to expectations, although I have actually been doing all the things she accuses me of NOT doing, with copies to the owners. She left it in a coworker's box, who showed it to me that day. The owners said her boss would talk to me and so far he has shown no interest in doing so. That would be ok with me, except that I don't get to correct the huge misconceptions about me that her letters are creating.
I've already noticed the owners are acting a little cooler toward me.
SO . . . she's fired! Not a step to take lightly--make sure you have a safety net of some kind, plan in advance. I've been thinking about this for the last 2 months, since the harassment started.
She's going to have an absolute bird when she gets my resignation, which will be unpleasant. My state (Vermont) is an at-will state and I can leave tomorrow if I want, but I'm on the schedule for the rest of the month and I'll finish the month if she doesn't retaliate by firing me first.
Either way, she will be up a creek without a paddle.

I can't count on a good reference anyway, and I do have a second job which relieves me of the need to ever put this job on my resume, even though I took it hoping to polish my skills in certain areas.
By the way, I'm 65! And I don't like being spoken to like a 15-year-old! We all deserve respect, at the MINIMUM. It's the bottom line.
still working at my age on 11 August 2011 03:29:23
@Help me in Texas:
The way to deal with this kind of pressure is to put your reply in writing, i.e., "NO" and follow it up with WHY NOT.
I had a boss once who sexually harassed me constantly (while his wife was on the premises, even). I'm sure he thought he was flirting and was the sexiest devil in 4 states, but one day I just looked in the mirror and decided I was fed up and annoyed, and I wasn't going to work that day, or any other day (for him, that is). I wrote him a letter explaining in great detail everything he had done and said that had led me to that conclusion. Then I read in a sexual-harassment pamphlet that that was exactly the right thing to do.
It takes some courage and, again, have Plan B ready to go.
still working at my age on 11 August 2011 03:36:45
@ Anonymous in the UK:
You're right on with the fact that the bullies are often good buddies with the upper management. While it's understandable that management wants to take sides with their supervisors out of [some kind of misplaced] loyalty, I think it goes deeper.
Any upper-level manager or owner who sees, is informed of, and continues to tolerate the bullying behavior is a closet bully himself, and wants to keep someone around who will do the dirty work.
Needless to say, many managers and business owners are complete failures at workplace relationships, which is exactly why they covet their positions--they think their power makes them above it all.
Fire 'em! Declare yourself emancipated from them!
But have Plan B ready to go.
still working at my age on 11 August 2011 03:41:29
@ Anonymous in NYC hospital:
I know exactly what you're talking about. It's what I've been talking about above. I've been dealing with a single woman supervisor (who, by the way, fancies herself to be a big Liberal Feminist) who acts like everything you describe, all rolled into one.
You are not crazy. She is (they are). Unfortunately this is a growing trend as it seems that this type of supervision is considered cool, professional (or something, I don't even know). It's really that they want to show the world that they're the big-shots now.
Hold your head high.
still working at my age on 11 August 2011 03:51:10
I switched shifts with another "counter girl"- i hate the term- who is fully capable. Our position is so easy it takes one day to train. Though the guys can switch trade whatever, I have now been cut from 36 to no more than 20 hours. Any suggestions?
counter woman on 12 August 2011 02:24:22
i work at big place.after my manager found out that i am looking for other job she stareted giving me hard time.my other coworker knows that she not capable to manage 7 people .she is completely disorganised.other coworker manages schedule.we as group devide our assignments.my coworker is saying its culture of this place and i need to learn to avoid any problem further.in last she made me cry,kept in office 3 .5 hrx2 untill i was emotionaly distressed.i raised voice to her tx but her boss also involved.per people who been in this place from long time says this is how this place has been running from so long.lots off turn over but upper management dont care.they are not trying why its happening but our no is better so they dont care.staff who worked hard and they were bullied by their manager so finally they leave.
unknown on 13 August 2011 02:28:00
i work for a company for 15 yrs and my senior hr keeps trowing inderects at me just this week he blamed me for doing something i didnt do and kept saying i did it, so when i proof it him wrong he screamed at me in front of my co wrkers so i asked him who he thinks his screamig at and he took it offensive and send me home .what can i do?
Anonymous on 19 August 2011 01:19:21
I have been working for this small company (3 employees only) + the owner for almost 10 years now. Although the owner makes millions, he is not one who will share it fairly, even to those who have helped him in the business. He will pay for work, yes, but peanuts... He will give yearend bonus sometimes, but also more peanuts... He will be nice enough to give you a token or something, but leftover from a weekend party or something that he may may not really need at home. I have taken so many responsibilities-- business and personal-- from the time I got hired. I have done so many other things that I just learned on my own from the job without being trained. He does not invest on staff training at all, but he expects you to know things. He gives unrealistic deadlines. Your day is supposed to be controlled by him from start to finish-- doing only what he has planned for the day, unless he got caught up with something on the phone or wherever. I am paid by the hour and have very limited leaves-- 5 in year. He will dictate your offs if he can and frown on you or behind your back if you ask permission to either come in late or clock out early due to an emergency or unavoidable circumstance at home. He speaks very highly of himself all the time-- maybe true, but also can be deafening. And the truth is, all these are all too bad and demoralizing for someone like me who has stayed in the company for ages-- no raise since he divorced and re-married (the joke is he can't give a raise or benefits other than dental because he has so many obligations himself). Am I really stuck? The worse is, the manager, who is another state, has this "control-freak" attitude as well. She has worked for our boss with another company prior and also thinks of herself as God's gift. She even says Thank You or Please less often than the boss himself. It's either she got the "God's greatest" attitude from him or vice versa. Either way, they make the perfect pair of not having to know how to motivate their staff and run a company well. As I said, it's only a very small operation, but they always want to think like they are a very big company. Will I have some improvement here, you think?
Anonymous on 20 August 2011 00:14:38
I am being bullied by my boss. Unfortunately, I supervise his wife and he is my boss. Conflict of interest ugh? Well his wife doesn't like me unsure why exactly, but she tells her husband horrible things about which he believes, then belittles me in front of colleagues, makes false statements about me, and intimates me on a regular basis. I feel like I am at a loss I've worked so hard to move up in the school district now I want to walk away. Likely I have a great husband who is supportive, just really don't know what to do. The worst part about being bullied at work is that I have started thinking that I am the problem, when deep down I know I'm not...it's horrible! This is a great venue to be able to vent to others to can empathize with what I am going through
Anonymous on 21 August 2011 22:37:26
i work for a family run bussiness , and thats tough too all the upper management are all realted mother father brother and there wifes ecta , they also have another brother who is just an employee but he acts and treats the rest of the staff like he owns the place most of the staf ahave constent abuse from the 2 brothers and the mother is just as bad if somone is dealing with a customer face to face she will genarate problems shouting instuctions at us that we know are clearly the wrong thing to do , i had one of the brothers threatent to give me a written warning for being sick in the toilet at work

they do not have a hr department and there is no one i can turn too any advise most of the employess get verbal abuse for no reason if the family has had a bad day they make sure everyone else gets it its unprofesonal and unfair
Anonymous on 23 August 2011 19:23:32
Hi All,
I know this is quite old, but i wanted to ask some advice!
What if its the Human Resources manager, Boss and direct boss that are doing the bullying....

In my situation,I found that the orders for bullying were actually coming from HR themselves. Anyone who filed a grievance were sure to pay the consequences. Make it as unpleasant as possible, is HR's motto. I found myself going to HR myself and actually threatening to file a police report the next time the Supervisor knowingly placed me in a place where she knew I would get injured. I could not figure how my Supervisor's bullying was accepted as a norm from HR. Now I now!
Tamarah Contreras on 25 August 2011 16:31:20
Hi i have worked for my boss since 1986 I loved my job for many years. As of the last few years my boss has become real hard to work for she yells and screams at the people that work for her makes them feel like they are the most stupid people in the world says they don't do there jobs to try to get more work out of them. She is worse on women then men. Recently she hired a new guy since she has hired him she has bullied me even more than before. He tells lies on me she believes him she clocks me out early yells at me in front of everyone lets him stay won't listen to a word I have to say. I feel like I am in a losing battle This is the only job I have ever had could use some help in what I can do this is starting to effect my health .
Tonya Carter on 02 September 2011 23:42:05
The way to deal with bullies is to smile at them and be happy with your work collegues! There is nothing they like more than to see you upset so be strong and show em u have the love and support out of work to overcome any crap days you may have in the workplace.
It worked for me, my boss was trying to force me onto the sick so he could eventually give me the sack for time off.
I now laugh in his face when hes stressed in his job, what goes arouynd comes around matey i say!!!
sharon jackson on 04 September 2011 19:47:34
"know when its time to move on" is an unhelpful co-out.
dragonslayer on 06 September 2011 07:10:48
My boss discriminates me because I am childless single and no offense plays favorites to working mothers(she's one herself). I ask I could adjust my schedule by a half an hour,"I'll talk to whomever",but if someone with a child asks"Go right ahead".

Even the head honcho gives me a hard time if I don't rearrange my life. But a working mother has no problem.
Petunia on 15 September 2011 14:34:35
My boss is a total idiot who cannot even communicate effectively. He is vindictive and spiteful. The only thing that makes his bullying a potential positive is that he's broken a number of laws and I can get a union rep to handle that.
Anonymous on 16 September 2011 22:20:30
My boss picks on me even though I know I am perfectly capable of doing my job I have been there for two years. He is always calling me to the office saying things are my fault or I have said things when I havent. I have depression and he told me it was no excuse as it doesnt affect a persons job. The problem is I can't complain as he is the boss and his wife is the practice manager.
Anonymous on 19 September 2011 22:59:59
My boss has done something thats not very nice she has caused trouble within my family spreading malicious lies saying ive said things that isnt true so obviously i confronted her of this and she denied it and now i have to work with her and i really dont trust this women anymore is there anything i can do about this
Anonymous on 02 October 2011 22:37:34
I hate my manager! She tells me off for doing things that she tells me to do, made me cry infront of one of the supervisors and asked why I was crying and that this wasn't a playground, I asked one of the supervisors where to hang certain jackets and she told me, so I did, then the manager comes and says why is this here and I said it's only temporary and she says but why is it messy and i said i'll move it in a sec, and she made a jibe saying why can't some people just be more tidy like Anita I just don't understand (another work colleague) and the day before that, I was extermely tired and my boss thought I was moody, and today she told me off, and said it's not acceptable behaivour, and made me feel like crap and made a jibe saying we need to get customers in, but we cant do that if we are moody are we, obviously directed at me, she told me off for doing something i didnt do, and she calls me in to work on my days off, and if i say no she becomes annoyed, and she puts on this FAKE baby smile/voice whenever she wants to be nice and I really want to leave, but I won't because she's been promoted and leaves in 2 weeks!
Anon on 06 October 2011 22:40:34
Wow I had no idea that others felt this way about the same kind of boss. My boss is conniving and calculated. I set up a meeting with my union rep and the boss and ive also requested my close co-worker to be present. I've been so intimidated and I'm afraid to attempt anything. The last incident was an email I recorded from my boss and I took it as a reprimand and what got me the most was that it was ccd to my personnel file? Really? I only posted to all staff an important meeting that I was directed to do. Then I get he'll for it? I forwarded his original email back to him. But since it happened he's been letting me stew. A student basically gave him shit for treating me this way telling him I'm to be respected like an elder and that it wasn't very nice. That was so amazing. The student said that my boss the principal stated that he was going to apologize to me. But hasn't. Now I'm afraid to take any initiative or do anything. I'm afraid of him now and I really don't want to cry. I have in every meeting to date. I hate that I can't keep my composure. I wanted to quit many times but why leave the benefits, medical, dental? I've also been cut in hours and eventhough he knows that I'm living bellow decent living standards. I realize he doesnt have to do anything about that but I think, I know he relishes in the fact that he has such power over peoples lives
Bullied on 20 October 2011 13:46:36
I was diagnosed on suspicion of cancer. During treatment I was prescribed a very strong medicine and I fell sick for one day and told my boss over the phone the name of the drug.

Apparently he googled it and found that this drug is mostly given to patients with severe mental health illnesses.

Eventually people in the company started to address me in first person as mentally ill, and managers refused to refer to this or refused to explain why they won't take disciplinary action against the people who tell me I'm mentally ill.
As a result of this I was fired and refused explanation why. In my reference letter they made strong innuendo to my allegedly ability to recover from difficult situations.
Negative Diagnosis on 23 October 2011 18:08:19
I myself was bullied by my boss coworkers and human recources.They expected me to do what they wanted not what I wanted. I had no choice but to go along with it or leave. I left but before I did I kept daily notes on events and verbal conversations. I requested an investigation into everything I had. I brought it to the attention of my union and now I am being representented. I could not even file a greivance because the shop steward were dickheads!!!!We shall see what the findings are. Usually when people bully you at work they are trying to get rid of you. My advice is to keep detailed notes eg, who witnessed it the dates and times. If HR does nothing sek higher up. I was denied paperwork but I am now going to recieve it because it was one of my demands. I also requested that there were two HR persons investigarting this case. I am getting that too. Don't give up Use research on the internet when I did i found out a few lies that they were telling me. Grrrrr!! good luck everyone.
deeply disturbed! on 28 October 2011 09:07:15
After i graduated and couldnt find a job in what I had gone to school for, my best friends parents offered me a job. Ive worked 6 months literally to the bone. My boss told me i would be 7 to 3 mon to friday, because i Didnt have daycare other than those hours for my young daughter. But shes continually scheduled me for anything but mornings, Leaving my elderly grandparents to take care of my daughter until im off work at 11pm every night. My grandparents are 85 and my grandfather is suffering from colon cancer and is in and out of the doctors office (and my parents live out of town and work full time) The WORST part is, is that she realizes my situation and now just chalks it up to "thats the shift available" An example of her meanness is when she first bought the buisness, the other girl working here was getting married and I covered ALL the girls shifts for 2 weeks straight except for 1 day off each week. so when she came back i took the weekend off (which i usually worked) and an extra day off for my birthday. A few months later i asked for another weekend off (because im the only one who works weekends) and she yelled at me and told me that i hadnt worked there long enough to be taking time off. Yet she has hired 2 more girls who have been working here now 2 or 3 months and gladly gives them time off anytime they ask. Her and her husband went to mexico for 2 weeks, and again i covered all the shifts. i was working at night till 11 just to come back to work for 7 the next morning. I did this at least 5 times while she was gone. And when she got back she didnt even thank me, she just gave me Sh*t about the one day i came in 30 mins late because it was my day off and id forgotten i picked up a shift due to the hectic schedule.
She told me that because im best friends with her daughter, other people that we work with may think she gives me 'special treatment' which is the exact opposite. I think shes harder on me because of that.

One day she came to me telling me that she could give me a bit of a raise because a couple other girls were leaving, and she was going to give me $1 raise an hour. the next day she randomly came up to me and said "ive talked about it with my husband, and we decided on only 50cents, k thanks cya later"
im on my 10th day of working, until she hires someone else, and she had agreed to give me weekends off now, so i made plans to go out of town for the weekend and she told me that "if i didnt have plans she'd make me work" as she laughed.
She told me one day that she'd "noticed id been coming into work hungover all the time and looking like a ragdoll and just awfful"....I DONT EVEN DRINK!! If theres a shift that needs to be taken and i turn it down, she gets mad and complains about all the time shes given me off until i agree to it.

UGH the worst part is, is that theres not much work in this town, and they are my best friends parents and i live in a rental unit they own, for not a very great deal on rent. so im kinda stuck here and dont want any bad blood. :( lol fml
yakam on 29 October 2011 04:23:00
I just left[...] employment due to a bullying environement from upper management. If you try to talk to someone in upper mgmt, they either lie to you or disregard anything you have to say. I was sent to EAP for three free visits, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Most everyone in this office does not like this supervisor and she presents as an ordained minister; God is her life she says. I came back to work after having a double mastectomy and she told me no one cares. I've tried to explain to her about lympedema and how painful it is, but she disregards the information and responds with, "Now, lets discuss work." She has told other coworkers not to speak to some of the clerical people. She saw me look out the window one day, as it was a bad snow storm and mentioned to me that she saw me looking out the window. I should've been typing. I explained to her that I was concerned if I would be able to get home. I went to the doctor one day with tachycardia, 140 beats per minute. This one is about 2 fries short of a Happy Meal. Oh hell, they forgot the fries altogether!!!! I retired today and quit taking sleeping pills and prevacid and prozac. I am fine and I will survive the bitch! Sorry there's people like her out there that hide behind God and what he stands for. My grievance filed with the State was shoved under the carpet, because those people at personal are resigning because of the mismanagement. They were told to decline everything they hadn't finished and told them what to write.
What a bitch! on 29 October 2011 08:05:27
Thank you to this site.Not only is there usefull information but it lets people vent their anger and fustrations. I say to hell with the bullies and fight for your rights!!!!!!It's places like this that are encouraging. I am thankfull that I had the strength to get through my issues and there were a lot including being blackmailed and assault. These bullies are cowards and they wiull get what they deserve!!! thank you :)
deeply disturbed on 30 October 2011 21:12:10
at the [...] the boss there is a big bullies i work there for six yr. and i work my ass off there i love the place and care about my job more then anyone could i was on a two weeks vac. and came back to work. on 9/9/2011 she ask me why i did not ck. two rooms that day and there are 85 rooms in this hotel and i just run out of time that day but the person who clean that rooms is still work there who dose not put clean sheet on the beds there. and that person only work there for about 4 mos. and she is still work there and my boss told me it was my job to make sure all rooms were clean and i told her that rm was ck. and the rooms was clean and she told me i need to put a two week notice in i was soo upset i left that day after work there for six yr. never call in sick at all could not get no unemp at all,, one person only can take so much from one person. her day will come still no job and no money come in now they should be some one who could help good work from being bullies by your boss only if i could get her back but that is not me i am trying to keep going and look for a job and this hotel is in pensacola fl not on the beach or the airport i wish i had that in me to fight for my right that day but what going around come around. and there are pleople who work there and do work any more would stand up for me about the work i did there. thank just
Anonymous on 02 November 2011 04:18:30
i have pretty much the same problem being bullied in the but i will tell you now im taking it no more im getting out cos i tell you now you have one life and one life only so why should you put up with it i have for 2 years but just had a sudden death in the family and its made me totally think diffrent about my life nobody knows how long they have in life so why spend it getting bullied in the wokplace move on which i am gona do and be happy i know its hard to move on ive been in my job 25years and i am scared but im sure it will all work out in the end put it this way i would rather be happy than spend the rest of my days being miserable in my job hope this helps other people decide what they want to do about it
anonymous 6th nov 2011 on 06 November 2011 20:13:55
I feel very at ease now knowing there are others that are suffering at there work placeI have two years left for my retirement,Question do I stay and start on my nerve med or just resighn,I have never felt this way ,I know I am the only one working in my home to pay the mortage,But I really don't if it is worth all this stress,
ann on 07 November 2011 06:42:54
My boss is a lousy and the worst man so far. Not only he pay the lowest salary, he made us do mutlitask jobs. For example, im as a engineer ,beside had to handle the project, im oso need to become driver, clerk, IT technician, coordinator, and sometimes even making coffee for him. the best part is our company policies, the worker cannot have leave unless she/he been working in the company more the 1 year. how ridiculess is tat? fxxk him
Shibuku itachi on 14 November 2011 16:38:10
I THINK THAT IT SHOULD BE A LAW THAT PROTECTS EMPLOYEES FROM THEIR EVIL BOSSES AND THAT EMPLOYER'S SHOULD BE INVESTIGATED WHEN YOU HAVE ALOT OF COMPLAINTS FROM DIFFERENT EMPLOYEES.
Anonymous on 15 November 2011 00:45:10
my boss is a bully, he enjoys staff leaving job, at least 4 in two months. most of the staff are from ethic minority group and i have tried to stand up for myself and advised my ex colleagues to stand up for themselves however they said they couldnt cope anymore. i think he deserves to be sacked if everyone complained properly and maybe staff need to challenge him and be assertive at all times.
Anonymous on 15 November 2011 07:11:58
My co-worker (who thinks he is has a higher status than me) has been making me feel very uncomfortable. Example 1: he does things like; touch the small of my back or my back when it is not necessary. I plan on telling him: "Please do not touch me unless it is an emergency or you need to get my attention which you can tap my shoulder". Hopefully this will give him a clear understanding of my expectations about touching. Example 2: He created a situation to try to force me to do things. Let me explain, we had setup a meeting time for him to show me how to use a computer program, he did not show up, he call two hours later to tell me he forgot. I told him that I would be leaving that day at 5pm. He shows up at 4:45pm and goes past me into his office and turns on his computer. I ask him, "Do you need a minute, because I am ready to go, I have the program up now on this computer?" He replies that he has it in his office and that I should come in there. I say, "No that's ok I already have it here." He says again, why don't you come in here. I say, no right here is fine (right here= common work space). He finally comes out of his office. By that time it is 4:50pm. I ask a few simple questions about the program. I say: "I can see that in the next 10 min I will not be able to learn this program. He says that he does not know answers to my questions, and that he will have to look at the one that is on his laptop (which is portable) and goes back into his office. I pack up computer and tell him "I need to leave now (it's 5pm) so thank you for coming but I will just watch some tutorials and figure it out". He is in his office motioning for me to stay and come in a learn from him. I say again, I have to leave. He asks if I will be at a certain location tomorrow, I tell him "It is neither the time nor place to learn this program there. I leave the office. The next day I get an email from him asking if we can get together that day. I email him back: Thanks for the offer, however I do not have time today. I will be in on Monday. Later that day I am at the location. He shows up! He asks if I want to work on it right now. I ask him "Did you get my email today?" He says yes. I say "I don't know how to be more clear that I don't have time to work on this today. I told you that to save you the trip." He does not say anything and slowly leaves, doing something on his phone. OMG I just don't know how to handle this guy. He is aggressively trying to force me to do something I told him 3 time I that I did not.
A on 18 November 2011 00:51:51
My boss is under qualified. She came to the company because she knows the new senior management and may have a "personal" relationship with one of them. I have carefully looked over her qualifications and she has none. She didn't even interview for the position and had threw the previous person under the bus so she could secure the same position. She doesn't know anything and keeps coming up to everyone saying "I am your boss" and things like "Since I am your boss..." Why is she reminding people of this? Is she really that pathetic?
Anonymous on 18 November 2011 17:24:29
My instructions are not obeyed by the maintenence staff and the manager senior to me supports the people in their bullying nature towards me. He being the boss does not even keep a track of whether i train te person how to perorm the task which i give them which i always do. But instead keeps on repeating everytime that i should give the guidelines.
This has really made me disturbed and i have lost all the confidence of carrying out my task effectively. I had a plan of training the staff but now i dont think i can do anything.
nami on 21 November 2011 08:12:36
I suggest adding a facebook like button for the blog!
Elliptical review on 29 November 2011 17:18:49
My husband is off becuase of undermining practices at his scholl by other sraff he can't get a job because the referense stated he is off how does he move on he will always have the same person as a reference
doreen on 30 November 2011 12:47:34
I had a bully customer. She would send emails to my senior management team telling them I was not doing something. Unfortunately for her I had it all documented in our CRM system which time stamps everything and can't be altered. So, I was easily able to prove she was a lier. Turned out she had done similar things to other sales reps so she already had a reputation for being difficult. She would act nice to my face when she wanted something and then go behind my back to my boss to tell him I didn't do it correctly. Every time I was able to prove her wrong. My boss hates her. My bosses boss hates her. The senior mgt team of my entire company thinks she is an idiot but they never wanted to stand up to her because she was the customer. Last straw was when she sent me a nasty email right before Christmas one year again blaming something on me that she had actually messed up. Very derogatory email. I ignored it and fixed the problem behind the scenes and finally sent her an email stating I had fixed the issue for her and that I had also forwarded her email to my boss. I guess she wasn't expecting that and she then called to apologise and say it wasn't personal. Bottom line you have to be nice and firm but also stand up to bullies and call them on their BS. Of course her nasty email was personal and she only apologised because she realized how bad it looked to my boss who had told her to come to him if she had issues with me - and she ignored his request and threatened in the nasty email to go over his head which pissed him off. The woman is a fat lazy nasty woman who is always in constant fear she will lose her job so I guess that is why she acts this way. She has been married and divorced multiple times. Few people can stand her and I just smile imagining that her life is truly miserable and the only way she can try to be happy is to pull other people down. I make a lot more money than she does and I don't have to worry about being employeed due to my skills, education, and past performance of closing a lot of business for my employers. I've moved onto another company now and no longer have to deal with the witch. She however will remain miserable for the rest of her life. I ALMOST feel sorry for her - NOT ;-)
Jess on 01 December 2011 19:27:54
I never believed there was organizations or businesses that would respectively honor bullying tactics. But I used to work, thank goodness I'm not there anymore, at a place where my boss constantly gave into the customers immediately without asking about the situation at all. He wouldn't want to speak about it further later on, unless he could make fun of the customer or demean them. It became a choice of saying nothing or feeling guilty afterward because he was like a big and old child. Of course we suffered from constant abuse of the customers throwing fits, cussing, and on occasion feeling comfortable with making stereotypical and racist comments. And as you would suspect, he encourage it between us workers, and had a manger in training who saw him like a mentor. There was nothing to stop them. There was no complaining either. They always acted like everything was fine until someone started crying, usually one of the girls. Then they would be secluded from the rest of the group for not being fun or comical and I don't even want to say how they'd be treated if they went to human resources, because guess who human resources had to inform or even worse come down on if things went wrong. My boss! I had two other managers and two supervisors and they hated him and couldn't do anything. It was obvious to tell who was complaining because you couldn't stray from the 'group' at all. There was no getting around anything without a lawsuit being filed, or quitting. We were all just miserable, waiting for someone or the business to be sued. Finally a girl consulted a lawyer because she had been harassed by one of the guys and was scared to tell the boss about it. My boss took this guy's side and believed he was innocent when we all knew him well enough to say, 'probably not.' It was the perfect place for this guy to work. I'll never be unscarred from that place. Just that one man made every minute awful in some way. Even as a National Chain, there was no good resolve except for leaving that one store location. It's so sad and disgusting to me that something could happen like that because people at the very, very top wanted to leave the store in the complete hands of one person because of how they got along with him and his good sales record. they had no idea how he was. they were so far away.
Amy on 04 December 2011 00:07:45
My boss bullys me all the time, she is horrible. I cant sleep at night and she has done this to the last three white girls that had to quit. They say its racial. I cant sleep at night. she gets pleasure out of making you feel horrible about yourself. then she puts people on probabtion and slowly picks at the secretively.
Anonymous on 04 December 2011 23:43:15
My boss is scared that I'm better than her. She makes mistakes and then blames them on me. One day I will tell her to her face ! Your just a bitch women, go get screwed !
John on 06 December 2011 23:09:44
i work for the federal GOVT and am bullied by my boss and just revealed him to several people in a meeting and they all know now what he is made of so he looks really stupid oh well suppose he is on report
DP on 07 December 2011 04:35:54
i was bullying at work as others. My two bosses don t like when someone has their own opinion and private life. they always pick one person to bully, try humiliate person front of everyone try pick everything bad etc. i was in that company for few years and they try to do it with me as well i gave up the job and found new one you have no idea how good i fell now its not worth it to pay with your health !
Anonymous on 08 December 2011 12:51:31
I am bulleed plese help me
Anonymous on 10 December 2011 18:53:38
I am haveng porblems atwork
Anonymous on 10 December 2011 18:54:52
In my case it's not my boss doing the bullying. It's a company attorney who through innuendo casts doubt on my ability to do the job. This idiot has had it in for me for several years. This person is a spineless name dropper who has done nothing bur create difficulty for my department
Jl on 11 December 2011 03:57:59
This has happened to me at two work places, one work place I was with for 16 years, and was coworkers. Over time the stress levels had caused me high blood pressure, I was sick a large amount of time, had relationship issues at home, wrecked my vehicle, and ran into things with the forklift at work. After changing jobs, I found a relief in all that, however I also found you carry those negative effects with you, it effects you for life. I found a job I enjoyed, the pay was not great but the environment was.
After 7 months i took a heavy financial strain and returned to work at a similar job as the one I had for 16 years. I worked as a temp and was hired in in just 3 months, during which I had to remember this was not the same place. I was told those things arent permitted when I discussed them and even though they werent permitted, still occured. I kept my calm reported just as I was told to do. Less than 2 weeks after hiring, a supervisor whom I had great respect for and actually treated me decent, and whom I had confided in about the previous company approached me, in front of witnesses, raised voice stating "what the fuck is this about....." the next day same attitude toward me this time over a technical problem, after a few hell dam and fucks from him, (I had just kept calm and relaxed.) I asked a coworker how should I approach it i need to tell someone but didnt want him to get in trouble, that person evaded the question told me just basically get used to it, so i asked a second person who had seen and heard the previous day what happened but not this one. He said yes how the supervisor was acting was unnecesary and i needed to report him or say something and told me who. not even 5 minutes later the same supervisor approached yelling in a raised voice that i needed to shut my mouth and do my job.(first person i asked told him) So I did the wrong thing and said I was going home (no way i want to work in that kind of environment and emotionally distressed and I was trembling) went to talk to another supervisor to contact my immediate supervisor to let them know i was leaving, and he came at me again raising his voice. (in front of the other supervisor) im nearly crying at this point, visually the second supervisor and even a third could tell I was emotionally distressed. the third superv. gave me sheet to report the intimidation and swearing. I ended up calming down and in the morning I was fired by HR. Stating noone liked me noone would admit to witnessing it, and since i was a big guy I shouldnt be offended or effected by someone yelling at me and that I wasnt doing my job (day before I was praised for a wonderful job I was doing) and the supervisors banded together except the third one saying i was making demands and being insubordinate. I never raised my voice never swore, never backtalked, and kept calm the entire ordeal. I was fired in retaliation for reporting a workplace violation.
charlie on 11 December 2011 10:31:50
I worked for a guy on my first deployment (In the Navy for 10 years) who treated his guys like dogs. The worst thing about the guy was that he was really personally responsible for 3 deaths. He was not a stupid guy but was educated, knew his job and knew how to fly. He was basically the red headed guy from Hell's kitchen... Years later I work with a bully/basher who is a peer who: 1. Is not that educated of a guy..... Univ of Pittsburg (History Major, nothing wrong with this but I think he is intimidated/afraid of other people's accomplishments). 2. He likes to yell at people who work for him/do not work for him. 3. He puts those people down/calls them incompetent, jacka$$ etc.. His leadership style is tyrannical. You can make people do things if you have positional authority over them but it is much better for people to want to things, want to work for you and accomplish a common goal. This does not mean your job or the goals will get any eaiser but it does mean everyone comes away feeling better about the experience.
Mike on 11 December 2011 11:06:47
My employer are not from America. Family owed and ran. The owners leave their mom at the office to deal with issues. Thing is, no one can do anything right! They criticize, yell, talk about you in another language. The owner questions you and has asked you to ignore it, not pay attention, maybe a culture thing to finally that she just doesn't understand! I'm here to tell you that I am going to do everything in my utmost power going thru every avenue I have to help them understand on how people should and should not be treated! For me, it was not return and gain control of my sanity or I was going to work, jumping on her and stabbing her a million times! And I told her son in law those exact words 2 months prior! How do you think I feel he says! I have to deal with her at home! I really do not care! I'm coming to you with a problem of how I'm being treated and I expect you to handle it or she is a lawsuit waiting to happen! I tried to keep the job I needed for 3 yrs to the day. My health was being affected and all around mental state of life was affected. I think it is my duty to help them understand that mom needs a muzzle or sent back to Lebanon or they need to not hire anyone other than their family/kind to continue their own insanity!
Insanity on 12 December 2011 09:25:17
I can not believe that so many people are in this situation.

Had been bullied in the past in about 2-3 of my previous jobs. However, I soon realised that the reason for the bullying was the fact that I actually let it happen and did not set boundaries (which is easier said than done).

In my last job, I could see it happening again.

Not only did my boss shout at me down the phone on a number of occasions, but did so with somebody else in the same room as him.

The last time he did shout at me, I tried to explain that there were impossible deadlines (which was explained to him on two separate occasions in the past for the project), that I worked throughout the past two weekends without a break and generally that the workload that was given was excessive for the amount of time that was allocated ... it didn't work as it seemed that he took it as a personal insult!

He even asked me to come around to his 'house' for a chat about my personal performance. I said that this would not be advisable considering his current mood which (with hindsight) was probably not the best thing to say!

After about 10 minutes of what seemed like constant abuse on the phone, I finally lost it. I told him that it would be better if he found somebody else to do the work ... and then reality struck him. There was an impossible 4 day deadline to meet and he had nobody else to do the work for him.

Normally I would have worked all through the weekend to have got the work completed - but no longer! The continual outbursts by him meant that I was in no emotional state to carry on with the work and he alone had to complete it. My sources inside the company suggest that this lead him to lose what was about a half a million dollar contract. I am not happy for doing this but I was at the point of emotional and physical exhaustion.

There were aggravating factors for me as well. I spent the past two weekends on the project. I had to cancel my holidays (which had already been paid for) because he had shouted at me. One of those weekends was also my daughter's 5 year birthday which I also missed. All these things were explained to him before taking on the project.

Enough was enough. I handed my very polite resignation that very evening and then decided to start my own competing company.

The company is now doing quite well and there is no better feeling than being your own boss.

I only have this message for the people who used to be in the same situation. Bullying is caused by personality flaws in the 'abuser' and the person being 'abused'. I was fortunate that it took me about four jobs to realise that this was just going to continue on and on until I did something to stop it. What better way to stop an abusive boss than to be the boss for yourself!! :)
dippsy on 13 December 2011 17:08:01
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one .I'm 19 and I work in a dental practice as a nurse been there for like 10 months now and the bloke that owns it is a total arsehole! It's almost Like he follows me around just to dig and plays constant mind games!! I've actually lost count the amount of times I'm came home burst into tears and called in sick just to give my brain a rest.before I went there I was a genuinely happy outgoing person now I have no self esteem and I feel completely worthless he always goes out of his way to make me feel and look completely stupid in front of staff.this is my first long term job aswell so I'm too scared to leave with the thought of my next job being a living hell too.
Anonymous on 14 December 2011 00:59:17
Yes its happening to me now, I am due to see the doctor and also I need to make a greivance against the company. Is this going to do me any favours? the trouble is i cannot just leave and be without income....
quenna on 15 December 2011 09:01:23
Thank god I'm not alone
anonymous on 16 December 2011 18:13:50
Ha - I took a grievance out against mine for bullying and harrassment - and won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous on 18 December 2011 01:20:05
i've just been dismissed from work for complaining about my
supervisor bullying me and now i'm going to take out a
grievance against the company as i find this is a complete abuse
of power
Anonymous on 23 December 2011 23:13:35
Today my boss called me a dumbass.
OverIt on 28 December 2011 08:44:15
For the last year I have been the bookkeeper for a company doing a fantastic job and getting a lot of positive feedback for it, especially from my boss's wife who is also running a company over seas. My boss however would always find a way do give me a jab and hit me below the belt as they say, through derogatory comments. One day he would be full of praises, then next he would be a bullying tyrant.

On 12-6-11 he sent his wife an email praising my hard work and dedication. He was out of town for almost a month and I was working 7 days a week and in evenings to cover for him since he fired 2 other employees and one quit because of it. The company was making a transition in its financial data and the first employee who was fired, was let go because she would not cooperate and she hung up on the owner. She caused a huge disturbance with her husband and the police had to be called. All because the bullying boss would not pay her the final pay she was entitled to.

He also fired her accomplice in the warehouse who milked the company for hours he did not work. Then their other accomplice quit because she refused to learn the new system. He screamed hate messages about them verbally to me and sent me nasty emails about them, blaming them for all the problems along with another fired employee who he called the company cancer.

On 12-16-11 clear out of the blue, he fired me through a series of hate emails and text messages all of which I saved. To this day 12-28-11 he is still sending me hate emails. He now tells me that since I sided with his wife and not him, I am the company cancer and brought down his company. He is flinging his abusive energy at me constantly and ruining my good name through slanderous accusations. He has been ripping off his company for many years and now because I would not look the other way, I was perceived as the enemy. His wife however told me that I was the best bookkeeper that the company ever had because I was honest and providing her with the necessary reports so that she knew what was going on in her company.

For my honesty and loyalty to her, he has now personally, verbally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually been attacking me through his venomous emails and texts blaming me for the demise of his company when it is his flagrant spending that caused it all. She is cutting him off from all funding and closing the company because he cannot control his spending. I take home 24,000 a year. My boss demands that he have 30,000 a month to satisfy his greedy self serving life style even though the company pays all of his expenses. He blames me for all his failures in life both as a person and business even though I have only worked for the company for less than a year.

We have to get people in this country to come together and change the laws so that we are protected from these bully bosses that seek to ruin our lives. Laws must be changed to protect us. Verbal abuse can make one very sick because the energy behind the abuse attacks our physical, emotional and mental bodies. Often it is not even the words, but the venomous energy that we are responding to. We have to come together and change this broken system that allows abusers to continue. It is not a sexual abuse. It is mental and emotional abuse and until our legal system recognizes this, we are left alone to suffer.

We need to know where we can go to take out our grievances against these bullies. If anyone has information, please post it here so others will benefit. The only way we can change the system and go after these perpetrators is to come together and support each other and demand to be heard.
Fed Up with Bully Boss's on 28 December 2011 21:24:02
Hahaha I just took the rate your boss test. This answer fits him to a tee.

Your boss couldn't organize a drinking festival in a beer factory. Your boss wouldn't recognise a decision if it jumped up and bit him on the nose. On a good day, your boss is an embarrassement to his department. On a bad day it's just plain grim. Your boss isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box. Your boss really struggles to relate to people. Your boss thinks he knows what's happening, but in reality he's out of touch with his people. Your boss only has to walk in the room and you feel like quitting.
Your boss scored: 17%
Fed Up with Bully Boss's on 28 December 2011 21:40:34
My boss is a church elder in Little Rock, Arkansas and he steals from his clients and screws his employees - literally. I even have documentation of it. What comes around goes around...................
Boiling Builder on 29 December 2011 21:35:49
I have worked for an insurance agent since 2005. We have gone thru 7 employee's. The agent is so full of himself, I believe he thinks he is so popular. He mentally abuses me on a continuous basis. He has slapped me on the ass, said your boobies look nice today, I can see you sucking my d***, he said to one of my ex-co workers, with an ass like that, you can wear jeans any day you want and, why don't we take your annual review down to the local motel!! He is a PIG. He has recently been working out and lost about eighty pounds, so this really makes him think he's hot, but he is the same pig he has always been. He just hired 2 new people and keeps making comments that lead me to believe that as soon as I get these 2 trained,I am gone.. if I just up and quit today, he would be screwed. He can't do this job. He is a big talker, but when it comes down to it, that's all he can do. Almost every transaction he does, he will either completely screw it up or he has to ask for my help.. every time we have hired a new person, he gives them preferrencial treatment,I end up being the example of how not to act, or will insult me in front of them and tells me he can't stand me and how I am sucking the life out of him... He is the one who is sucking the life out of me. I will not leave my house when I am off work, I have resorted to drinking, I think about hanging myself almost every day.. I can barely go on... I just don't know what to do anymore..
fed up on 01 January 2012 03:08:01
More on fed up from Jan 1, 2013.
When I am injured or sick, he makes fun of me. I have only taken a couple of my vacations, mostly because we always
have new people who need me.. He has been out of the office so often that the customers are actually shocked when they see him in the office.. when it came to me giving him my bonus info for my paycheck, he asked my when I wad on the phone, so when I got off the phone, I went into his office to give him the information and he said to me in a smug voice, how about you wait until I am finished with this email, so I went back to my desk and emailed my bonus info to him and he reply's with, oops, too late, I already sent the payroll in, how about I catch you next month? One day he says good job, the next thing it is how much I drive him crazy. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster!
fed up part 2 on 01 January 2012 03:46:20
Back in 2007 i started working behind a bar part-time. After working there for a year my hours gradually and permanently increased and i was promoted to assistant manager. Life was good while I worked my ass off then the company decided to let them go and dump the establishment on me without asking. I grudgingly accepted and a ran the place for a few months until they hired a bar supervisor and immediately licensed and promoted her to be my superior. Things got to a shaky start since I booked a three week holiday to use the rest of my holiday hours before the holiday year reset. This didn't go down well with her.

When I came back she had decided to sever my full time hours down to part time and give them to a workmate of mine and told me that the company had no idea that I was the assistant manager which was false since I met the area manager soon after I was promoted and he left it to me to run the place before she came. At the time I was also studying a costly course which due to her actions I couldn't afford anymore. This got me into serious debt and I was sick of her undermining me. I still did all the paperwork while she was drinking away at the stock and when I'd close the place she would open it back up and tell me there are customers and I had to go back and serve them because she was too drunk. I wasn't prepared to take it any more. She was again participating in cocaine with customers and the following day I reported her to the area manager. Naturally she went apesh*t and I was subject to relentless harassment. Upon arriving he did nothing to deal with it only thanking me for telling him and not the police and gave us a talk that team work is very important. This is the man who worked with her before and immediately promoted her to bypass me in order to do her a favour. She kept her job and hostilities were high plus I received death threats from the coke heads she was with since she divulged to them what had gone on in the meeting.

She played the victim for a couple months after and became friends with a woman who would be the boss after her. I couldn't take the gossiping that was going on about me so I terminated my contract. After the place had changed hands I decided I should give the place another try since she had gone for part time work while I'm studying. The woman who became friends with my ex employer became my new employer She started handing out documents telling everyone they're not doing a good job and would public humiliate me in front of staff or customers for my till being incorrect after a shift. The slander started from then when she started spreading malicious rumours to the customers and the rest of the staff. Ironically it came to light that my till was fine and she was getting her figures wrong but I never got an apology. Her stubbornness actually seemed to delude her even when I was found innocent because she carried on alienating and slandering me. It was found on CCTV that another member of staff was drinking up until 5am with customers stealing stock from behind the bar but the manager told me she would not sack her because she still wants to go on holiday with her. Another member of staff had headbutted a customer cutting his eyebrow open but nothing was said because she wanted him to run the place while she was away. I was unable to attend a staff meeting and she fired me. Maybe she just wanted rid of me anyway.

She notified me by texting me and I told her I really needed the job and she told me it wasn't her problem. I got angry at this and brought up what I mentioned above to her and threatened her with legal action. This happened two days ago and knowing that the slander is continuing in there really annoys me because I can't even defend myself from it. She's even succeeded in turning people against me who used to be my good friends. In my anger I posted a status listing what a bad boss is which listed characteristics she possesses though I was careful enough not to include her name for legal reasons. Even though I got support from friends and family a flame war started .... by the coke head ex employer before her! she had really let go and told me that i know nothing and shes very experienced. even the ex co worker joined in (the thief), brown nosing as always and scoring brownie points. In order to prevent a flame war on page I removed the comment and blocked them all. I then got a handful from the ex employer who decided to unblock me in order to contact me. For posting something impartial to remind myself I am a victim of bullying, harassment and slander I can't post what's on my mind in case these double agents decide to throw more drama my way!

All this just makes me think things happen for a reason and things will heal in time. Since she's subjugated everyone there by making an example out of me and barring customers who do speak out I will struggle to rally up witnesses. She's even threatened to with hold my last wage because I bit back at her offensive dismissal text. Since then she's even fabricated an excuse saying that I was too slow even though I was the fastest, friendliest and versatile member of staff there and at the end of the day she fired me for not attending a meeting, more like she didn't like me. All this was caused by her paranoia and ego and get this... she told me I had a bad name as soon as I started there. I'd put my money on the druggie ex employer I reported...

If anything similar is happening to anyone else out there just hang in and don't let these corrupt idiots get us down. Just see it as an excuse to move on. They don't deserve decent hard working people in their businesses and let it be the drive we need to find somewhere better.
the example on 10 January 2012 23:51:07
My boss owns the company! We are all overworked but she acts like we don't do anything. She belittles everyone who works there! As I said we are all overworked with projects to get done but she acts like all we do is goof off. Some employees there are sick of the way she treats us. Others are physically sick. Some are so depressed about the working conditions and her treatment of us. One person quit siting the horrible working conditions do to the way the boss treated her. She keeps coming up with new clients & more work but no new workers. It is impossible to finish a project on time because she keeps adding & then she belittles and makes me feel so small. She treats everyone like this. She doesn't single me out. She acts like we are the problem not her!
Just fed up!!! on 11 January 2012 05:07:17
i was bullied for over a yr by other nurses, it was horrible when that didnt work they cut my hrs down to nothing, finally i wouldnt leave so they just fired me thank god now i can get unemployment they had no justified reason, this year has greatly affected my health im young and have been diagnosed with 2 stomach ulcers, i do not drink or take medications, its because of stress from my job. they are a click and if your not in the click they will torture you until you break. best thing that could of happend was to get fired . so get out its not worth your health. i was strong and wouldnt let their pity crap bother me but 2 ulcers later it did, looking forward to some time to get better and destress.
nan on 21 January 2012 02:24:53
I am a bullying type of boss.
I catch myself doing it.
Through it all, I DO realize the important role my employees play in my own success. I do it when under stress -- though that is NO excuse....afterall...doesn't everyone have stress? After reading all of these comments, I will try harder not to do this anymore and be more grateful and supportive to those around me.
Embarrassed on 25 January 2012 22:43:40
i was verbally harassed by the manager during the staff meeting
being a supervisor i felt worthless and when i asked him to repeat what he said,he said it was not open for discussion and dismissed me on the spot.later i called him to let him know i was not happy about his statements den he said it was a lesson to others as well,i asked him why he does it at my expense then he just kept quiet i hung up,then called HR Manager who adviced me to ask him for an apology when i did he told me he wont retract his statement,that is when i called HR manager he told me lodge a complain for verbal harassment.
stressedout on 29 January 2012 18:26:38
I am a bullying type of boss.
I catch myself doing it.
Through it all, I DO realize the important role my employees play in my own success. I do it when under stress -- though that is NO excuse....afterall...doesn't everyone have stress? After reading all of these comments, I will try harder not to do this anymore and be more grateful and supportive to those around me.
Embarrassed on 25 January 2012 22:43:40

wow well done for admitting your fault... now learn from it because people suffer from this kind of abuse to serious and dangerous degrees. I started my job a month ago and my boss has targeted me as weak (I have low self esteem and confrontation issues from previous abusive relationships). Little things like, pessimistic comments, yelling and not asking to do things nicely can take a huge toll on someone who is already fragile and emotionally unstable. Beyond that, I get picked on and singled out for problems that are not my fault all because of the bosses "stress" - I consider people that do this somewhat sociopathic and certainly unable to feel any empathy for those they abuse. I want to quit but my contract is unbreakable and if I try the boss will throw money at me. I don't want money - I want to be treated with respect. I have had to go see a psychiatrist and my GP over weight issues (due to the stress) - hopefully they can give me an excuse so I don't have to give notice and deal with 2 months of terror or pay my salary in lieu of notice. It is literally a nightmare. And I have horrific dreams about this prison of a job every night. FML
boss is a twat on 31 January 2012 11:51:54
i work at hannams retravision the warehouse manager is a bully
Anonymous on 04 February 2012 21:38:23
I have seen people bully colleagues and friends out of jobs at UB - although the company has its policies there are some people who seem to spread malicious rumours about others and do things to stop them working and make their life a hell.
anon on 05 February 2012 17:03:47
I have been bullied and harrassed by my supervisor for the past 4 1/2 years. My supervisor is the HR Supervisor so I can't take my complaints to the HR Department. I am physically and emotionally a wreck. I was told that I should bring my concerns to the VP of the company but aren't they too busy to be bothered with this nonsense. My supervisor is so bad that she wrote me up for talking to the same employee at my breaks and lunch so now we are split up and can't see each other even in passing. Where do I go to get help or maybe even file a charge against her. I am seeing a psych lady now but talking only goes so far.
stressedout on 05 February 2012 18:23:54

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