My Stupid Boss
Let off some steam at My Stupid Boss!
Resources
Workplace Bullying
Are you bullied by your boss?

Confidence at Work

Is your lack of confidence holding you back? Do you have a hard time saying no?

Assertiveness help
Don't let your boss push you around. Learn how to be assertive without being aggressive.

Manage your Stress
Develop new skills to deal with stressful situations.

Dealing with Difficult People
We all come into contact with difficult people from time to time, but how do you deal with them?

Interview Tips
If all else fails, and you are unhappy in your current job, you may want to think about moving on.

Search


Archives
RSS Feed
Top 5 rated stories
1. Workey Work...Busy Bee
User rating: 5.0 (2 votes)
2. working for jerks!
User rating: 5.0 (1 vote)
3. Trying to get me fired
User rating: 5.0 (1 vote)
4. Still "Mashing it around"
User rating: 5.0 (1 vote)
5. Friend takes over
User rating: 5.0 (1 vote)
Workplace Bullying

Bullying doesn't just happen to kids at school; it is a very real problem in the workplace as well. Millions of days are lost to businesses each year as a result of absenteeism caused by bullying. Bullying results in low morale, lower productivity and high staff turnover. Surveys suggest bullying is responsible for 30 – 50% of all stress related illnesses in the workplace.

Have you ever been bullied by your boss? Have you witnessed a co-worker being bullied by a supervisor? A recent study by the U.S. National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health suggests that most incidents of workplace bullying are between employees, rather than perpetuated by a supervisor. Frankly, we find that very difficult to believe. Can it be true that most workplace bullying is by co-workers?

The Bully at Work
The Bully at Work
What you can do to stop the hurt and reclaim your dignity on the job
Buy from Amazon.com $10.17
Buy from Amazon.co.uk £7.72

We believe a survey recently publish by the British Trade Union Congress on workplace bullying is highly significant. According to the survey, 2 million workers claim to have been bullied in the six months leading up to November 2005. What is particularly striking about this British evidence for workplace bullying is that it is senior managers, rather than co-workers, who are singled out as the worst offenders when it comes to acts of workplace bullying.

We think bullying by bosses is stupid because it is counterproductive. It is estimated that 18 million working days per year are lost through the effects of workplace bullying in the UK alone.

Are bullying bosses just a British phenomenon? Use the Submit a Story page to tell us what you think.

What is Bullying at Work?

Bullying at work is basically any behaviour that is malicious, intimidating, insulting or upsetting. It is a deliberate attempt by a colleague or boss to undermine, intimidate or control you. Bullying tends to be sustained over a long period rather than being a one off occurrence. Bullies rarely commit a physical attack but instead use more psychological tactics. The emotional problems that the victim experiences can be very hard to deal with. Any of the following can be regarded as bullying behaviour:

Adult Bullying
Adult Bullying
Adult Bullying is a valuable resource for anyone who has experienced bullying
Buy from Amazon.com $22.99
Buy from Amazon.co.uk £7.72

  • Verbal/physical threats
  • Being humiliated in public or shouted at
  • Blocking access to training/overtime and other benefits
  • Spreading malicious rumours
  • Persistent criticism that is undeserved
  • Setting impossible deadlines – setting you up to fail
  • Offensive reference to sex, race, age, etc
  • Exclusion from meetings or communications that are relevant to your job

A bully may be quite subtle when talking to you in front of other people, but when you are on your own with them, you may be subject to explosive outbursts.

Bullies will quite often try to wear you down by placing unreasonable demands on you. They may accuse your standard of work or accuse you of not pulling your weight.

What can you do about it?

Admit that you are being bullied
The first step you need to take is to acknowledge the fact you are being bullied. If you just try to ignore it, the problem will not go away.

When You Work for a Bully
When You Work for a Bully
For employees who are tired of constant confrontation - advice on everything from how to identify a bully to utilising self defence tactics.
Buy from Amazon.com $10.85
Buy from Amazon.co.uk £13.99

Stand up for yourself
Try not to show the bully that their behaviour has upset you. Try to improve your assertiveness and communication skills. Look at your body language, don't stoop or hang your head. Stand up straight with confidence and maintain eye contact. If you stand up to the bully rather than just take it lying down, chances are the bully may lose interest and turn their attentions elsewhere. Bullies prey on people that accept their bad behaviour. Don't give them an easy ride – simply choose not accept the way they treat you. If they speak to you abusively, stand up to them and ask why they are treating you so badly. Tell them how their behaviour is affecting you. If they know that they are always going to have to account for their behaviour, your direct approach will potentially reduce the chances of them bullying you in the future.

Make a case
Gather information about this person. Is it just you they are targeting or are they bullying anyone else? Build a case to show the negative impact they are having on the workplace.

Keep a diary of bullying tactics. Make sure you include specific incidences and record exactly what was said. Specifics are much more useful than vague recollections.

Tell someone
Write a memo to the person concerned stating your criticism of the way you are being treated. Make sure you copy in your Human Resources manager. If you are called into a meeting, request that a colleague or friend comes in with you.

Request that your Human Resources department spell out clearly their policy on bullying.

What if the company does nothing?

Talk to friends
Talk to your friends and supportive colleagues. Don't try to deal with the problems on your own.

Don't be embarrassed to seek professional help
If you have been badly affected as a result of bullying, seek professional help. Your family doctor can refer you to counsellors and psychologists. Bullying causes stress, which can, over a sustained period of time have very harmful effects on your body. Symptoms of prolonged stress include tiredness/feeling run down, difficulty sleeping, headaches, heartburn, stomach ulcers, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Know when it's time to move on
You need to ask yourself whether it is worth the stress of staying on. Some bullies will not back down and will continue to make your life hell. Is your job really worth it? If it is just the individual that is the problem, then the problem may be worth tackling, but in some cases the organisation may have a ‘bullying culture'. Why would you want to continue to work in an organisation that supports bullying?

Take some time out and make a list of what you are good at. Document your achievements and update your CV. Take this opportunity to push your career in a more fulfilling direction. Your health and sanity are much more important.

If you have experienced being bullied at work or if you have any tips on how you have dealt with a bully, please share it with us here.

Related Links
Most Workplace Bullying is Worker to Worker, Early Findings From NIOSH Study Suggest
Only a new law will stop the workplace bullies, says TUC

My boss makes me feel like I am worthless. After working for the same company for 27 years I am made to feel less than a person, less than a productive employee even though I take on extra responsibilities and have been acknowledged by my colleagues as a go to person to get the job done right and on time. What can I do?
Cindee on 28 July 2006 03:09:11
I am in the same position as you are. My boss is now under pressure as we work for the "State". There is a Union problem between to different Units that are covered by two different Unions. My boss is not only a bully, but he has exceptional respect and relies on this "other Unit" to do work that belongs to us. The Union Rep already suspects he will not honor the new agreement that is being made. He basically "shines you on" then keeps doing whatever he wants to do. He doesn't respect the women that work for him, he sees the employees "in the other Unit" as "Gods". The employees, under him, men/women all feel worthless, unappreciated, humiliated and embarrassed most of the time. His boss is as spineless as he is. Even though my colleagues come to me, as I am the "go to person" as well, my boss still believes that this other guy, in this other unit is "Gods gift to the computer world" and we are nothing! The only thing you can do, is document what he does, be specific and if you have a Union Rep, talk to the Union Rep. Don't go into a room by yourself, with your boss, always ensure someone else is there with you, even if you need to have the Human resources person there. We've also told our boss, immediately, when he is being underhanded, rude and disrespectful. We've told him that if he didn't stop speaking to us, in that fashion, we would leave the room. It seems to be working, however, you need to be calm and very specific about what he is doing or saying that is making you uncomfortable. Personally, I would stop takinig on extra responsibilities as well, unless you enjoy this. Remember, there is NOTHING you can ever do to please people like this. I hate to say it, but I am looking into anti-anxiety meds...and getting another job. Thank goodness I only have 4 years until retirement!
Angie on 30 July 2006 16:17:01
My boss is a small woman of around 53. She regularly shouts at people in front of everyone making them feel bad.although she has managers over sections she makes up rules as she goes along.For those she like in he workplace she is all smiles for most others she treas as if they are dirt under her foot.She pays the lowest pay to everyone but her chosen few.If you dare to challenge her she does not speak to you for weeks a a time and then says about how your just is not safe due to changes in the business.There is no HR just her and someone challeged her once,the result - she had someone to act as HR in a meeting,that someone answers to her,therefore the nothing happened.She has us lifting heavy weights girls and boys,if you fall hurt yourself & are off work she stops your wages.The worse thing is the chosen few see her behaviour and are now reacting it leaving more & more people unhappy. We need jobs,we need more,but most of all we need peace of mind..where will i all end
Unhappy-2006 on 19 October 2006 20:28:58
hi i work in a charity were iam bulled and intimadated even blackmailed not to claim for an accedent which happend towards me i was told if i was to claim i would be bringing the place into dissrepute and i would have to leave,yet my boss is in the caring manegment postion he has belitteld me even other bosses have done the same by taking away responsibility and giving it to some one els and iam being undermined every day yet yet were iam the bosses are supposed to care for us as if we were not there the bosses. would not have a job yet there supposed to be here for us yet i have been bullied alot in many ways yet the bosses portray one thing in front of the public when thay do another in front of me and some of the others who work here yet there are some people i work along side who also bullys me and ( i have even been falsly accused by some one i work with yet he has addmitted that what he is falsley accusing me of he has done and he said it in front of our boss two days before my boss started yet because of the false accuser i have been verbaly threatend and phiicaly threatend yet the boss says what can he do unless i have proof yet i do have proof or i should say my friends have the proof of this man falsely accussing me as it was taped and my friends have heard the tape and have said that the man i work with is projecting what he has done in his life on to me as he cant handel it yet why should i have to pay for what he has done its like what my boss is doing why should i pay with my health by the tremenduse preasure and stress and the bullying iam under here e.t.c )
STEVE ROY on 06 January 2007 07:17:11
My boss is a school principal. He has become an arrogant tyrant who believes he is untouchable, some would agree since he is best freinds with his boss. He is guilty of sexual harrassment, misuse of funds, manipulating test scores. Additionally he is guilty of sucking the morale from teachers and creating a school culture of apathy and mediocrity. My solution will be to address various church groups, give them the facts and where to find the proof and send them in mass to the school board
mike on 02 February 2007 03:24:53
My boss is my older brother who took over from my dad passing away over 11 years ago. There are 5 stores, and 7 other family members and various employees that run stores under his command. My father never showed my older brother how to run the company before he took over. My brother also never ask any of us for advise. As timed passed he has shut all of us off-ruling his rules. There is low morale and self-motivation throughout the company. Recently, fire us from the board of directors, only we never knew it because he made the rule voting my mother whom has demencia her proxy majority rule to make up the rules for himself to dictate. After that long meeting, my second oldest brother got a lawyer and his solution was a split of the company. My thought is though, we will never get through with him because he received 2 of the 5 stores to take, and second he is still voting my mothers 52 share majority opinion even if we split she will have majority of our little part for the 6 other members. Damed if you split or dame if you stay together as a family business. Also another problem is that younger family members can't buy stock in the company or if my spouse passes I cannot inheret or my children also cannot inheret. Its a real mess with all my lifes savings. Recently I have tryed to even get another job to try to get my life more away from all of this, but at the age of 50 doing the same job its difficult to have others believe that you are of any value sometimes even though you were brought up to work hard and do your best to serve the customer. My brother never says an uplifting commit to others when visiting with the paychecks. Even if the business needs an extra hand he also never pitches in to even help the customers waiting if the salesperson is overwhelmed.
I just hope that others don't get in the same situation as I have gotten into, because mental hurt is harder to deal with. I have felt worthless, stupid, and stressed out because of all the bullying my older brother has done to me and running down the family business my father and mother made positive at one time.
Don't fall in the same trap on 05 February 2007 06:07:14
Hi All,
I know this is quite old, but i wanted to ask some advice!
What if its the Human Resources manager, Boss and direct boss that are doing the bullying....

How do you ever get past that?
Terry on 23 April 2007 10:31:26
I was being bullied. I had worked in a place where I had a manager who spread malicious stories about me. She pitted other workers against me, humiliated me, gave me demeaning tasks, and had managers repeatedly call and hang up their phones. I had a couple of breakdowns. Later prior to my leaving that organization after 2 years, some people realized and told me that she was abusive to others as well. But I rec'd the brunt of it. She fired all the men. After I left some others left on their own. I have depression, and worry a lot about what others will do to me next even though I've been able to regain my sanity and not have to be with that awful psychopath anymore. The sick part of her abuse was that I ran into her in a store - she talked to me as if we were old friends. I walked away from her - can't scream at her b/c I would've looked unstable/bad/stupid. People really abused me b/c of her malicious attacks. I can't forgive her for this. Sometimes I find others to talk to about my experience who have been in the same predicament - only to validate that what was happening to me really, actually happened. I've come to the conclusion that I think the worst perpetrators of mobbing are women. Women are irrational, jealous, conniving, and quite hurtful when it comes to rumormongering. I am female BTW. I just like to keep to myself and steer clear of other females b/c of this experience. Are there others out there who have experience this garbage? I wish to read your stories too please - b/c it helps me see that I am not the only one with this phenomenon.
anonymous on 23 April 2007 19:43:22
Well,
I brought my bully out in front of everyone...they try to fight back, but they look silly and really dumb.....this 61 year old bully is on MY PROBATION....she is squirming now and will continue to do so......if I decide to quit, that is my choice....but what is better than anything else is watching a bhully/basher look foolish in front of 10 other staff.....guess what....I freelance on the side now and am doing very well...I am semi-retired at 39 and a half.....I offer 5 pieces of advice to anyone here:
1) Bullies are usually uneducated
2) Bullies are afraid of being exposed..so expose them
3) Bullies/bashers have unhappy lives, so they like to bash/bully happy people
4) Bullies/bashers are afraid to look in the mirror
5) Bullies/bashers have an unhealthy upbringing
Anyone care to email me isdjpn@hotmail.com

I am presently watching my bully squirm..she looks like hell most of the time..and now no more bullying and bashing from the biddy......Please put your bullier or basher ON YOUR PROBATION...that is the most important thing......

Paul
Paul Doucette on 20 May 2007 00:46:22
I am being set up to fail by my boss and the HR manager. I have asked for help from Corporate and they did nothing. It's not just me, three other managers have quit because of it. Including the GM. What can I do?
Nicole on 30 May 2007 06:39:59
I work next to a crazy lady. Literally! She has used a lot of the same manipulative tactics that i have read above, asks other employees to help her with projects, but doesn't ask me even if I know the answers. She likes to put up a front that i'm stupid. She has cut me off in the hallway on my way into work, and even has looked at me and laughed at me in the elevator when no one else has been in there - with a witch laugh. I don't get it. I think she does it to intimidate me! She is so bitter and grouchy and tells customers off on the phone - yet kisses up to the right people and has managed to make them feel sorry for her because she is a lady in her 50s, a recovered alcoholic, and puts up a front that she grew up in the ghetto and has had a seriously hard life - which everyone in the office then tries to excuse her behavior and work ethic on her difficult past. I have to work next to this bitter woman, who looks at me evily and then started trying to give me a nickname to undermine and belittle me. I wrote her an e-mail stating could she please refrain from calling me names while I am trying to work, forwarded it to my manger and stopped talking to me for over a week. And it continues!! I never heard back from my manager or heard how it was taken care of. When she left the office I drew a smiley face on her banana just so I could smile. She is so bitter. I think part of the reason is because I got a job she was training for and wanted? I have two college degrees, a bachelors and an associates, and graduated with honors. I have worked hard for what I have accomplished! Now this crazy weirdo who is trying to intimidate me and ruin my career!! How do you deal with someone so irrational in the workplace?
Anonymous on 07 July 2007 16:41:03
Hello,
wow, I had NO idea that this was so common. I'm not sure if someone is attempting to bully me, however, as a confrontational communicator, i'm not really sure what I've decided to do yet. We have a small staff of four and suddenly got a new person. She is easily pressured, unbalanced and very dependent (on me since I'm training her to do her job) oh by the way, she is an attorney and I am not... I've been onthe job for 10 months doing great things, I'm very assertive and outgoing, bubbly and accurate with a good work ethic. I believe I have diagnosed her characteristics as attempted bullying.. I'm smiling because under my sunshiny disposition, I still dont take crap from anyone. My main concern is how to not be cruel and show my other side in the workplace. I'm always the one taking up for other since I simply pity and destroy bully's. I've never had one of my own and in the past so when I take care of this littl e nitpicking, envious, undermining my work all the time in front of coworkers and staff meetings, litte..:) I'm going to call her out. But again, if things need to get heated, then so be it. I'll jsut smile the entire time and question all the criticisms that she will undoubtely have about something that i did, when all i have done is provide training, files, shortcuts, etc to make her dumb--- less frustrated. I've cut all extra conversation out and totally ignored her today besides work talk and hello. No extra convo like her first weeks pulling up a chair. I dont avoid her, however prefer to walk by bouncy as usual ignoring her. She will NOT win this and has definitly met the right person to spit fire at lol Bully's must be DESTROYED and all of you have the power to do so.. I've read that so many have left the job and just felt helpless, but hell, dont be INTIMIDATED by these clowns. You just play the reverse game. DoNT let bullys win and make youloos all that you have worked for. Smile even more, laugh a little louder and walk like you have oil wells in your backyard. Simply becasue you ARE truly powerful because you have this reverent power!! Use it! Confront the person.. There is no way around this and remember, Be who you are because THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE THAT DONT MIND MATTERS THE MOST!


BEST WISHES

I'm sure its going to be a hot staff meeting next week.


Folks, the next time you encounter
Anonymous on 11 August 2007 10:44:28
I have been bullied for a year and a half the management team and my colleagues they regularly criticise my work, blame me for things that are not my fault make me feel responsible for things that cannot impossibility been my fault, withhold information or give me incorrect information; not train me to do anything and leave me to do boring tasks. I am a regular target for hurtful comments behind my back and jokes to my face. They make me look stupid in front of people and make complaints about me. They reprimand me for everything tiny thing and the other workers are encouraged to make complaints about me and the Assistant Manager "Closely supervises" my work. Thats in their words, it is just micromanagement. Although it may sound mild but it is upsetting for me and it isn't just bullying it is mobbing I am regularly in the toilets crying and I cannot sleep at night and I am always looking over my shoulder waiting for the next time I get called in the office for something.
BubbleBee on 22 August 2007 17:29:46
I work for a non-profit organization that is run like a cult. As I am the only non-believer in Dear Leader (female) I am psycologically abused on a daily basis. She tells me to do something and when I do it and show her she screams at me asking me why I did it, and says that is her job not mine.

She holds 'Self-criticism sessions' where we have to put ourselves down in front of everyone else and admit to our mistakes, after which she tells everyone that if we follow her we will all become beings worthy of living.

The other people in the office are complete believers - 1 has tried suicide because they don't feel worthy and 3 have depression for which she won't allow them to seek treatment for. She makes my life a living hell to the point where a once confident, happy full of life young woman feels like they can't go on....I am leaving next year when mu contract expires and hope that I can put this horrible woman and organization behind me. The only comfort I have is the knowledge that what goes around comes around....
Bullied Daily on 24 September 2007 14:02:16
Well were I work it is not just me being bullied by two co-workers they have even bullied our supervisor, maintenance and resident people in a cre facility. They have made us ill and we have let the supervisor know of this and we are tired of the undo criticism and sarcasim.

Yesterday behavior was part of the staff meeting and it was about bullying and it is not being unnoticed but disciplinary action is being looked into for future use.

So that is good but how long does it take to fing out what discipline action is available or what have others done.

For the most part us who are victims are hoping that this brings good results as the bullies are now in their own little corner.
tired of bullies on 26 September 2007 15:45:31
Well were I work it is not just me being bullied by two co-workers they have even bullied our supervisor, maintenance and resident people in a care facility. They have made us ill and we have let the supervisor know we are tired of the undo criticism and sarcasim.

Yesterday behavior was part of the staff meeting and it was about bullying and it is not being unnoticed but disciplinary action is being looked into for future use.

So that is good but how long does it take to fing out what discipline action is available or what have others done.

For the most part us who are victims are hoping that this brings good results as the bullies are now in their own little corner.
tired of bullies on 26 September 2007 15:49:42
I work for one of the largest shipping companies and my supervisor is always throwing the f-bombs around like he in a bar or something. He doesn't like answering the phone when it is for him. He starts cursing under his breath then he picks it up like he never reacted that way. He throws chairs around the office and i almost was hit with the chair. I think his actions in the office is uncalled for and he might need to go to a "How to be a real Supervisor". He talks about everyone in the office and we have started to write down all of his words that are coming out of his mouth. I heard that they made a new law if your boss treats you bad you can take them to court. Is this true?
fed up on 01 October 2007 20:22:12
I worked 4 mos at a place where I was bullied, belittled & ostracized by at least 2 of the people who were training me
& for no apparent reason whatsoever.

It hurt my feelings & I was extremely stressed out over it. Began losing sleep & was in a deep depression most of the time. I couldnt take much more & knew I had to act soon.

When I began to stand up & defend myself in face of the abuse, all the rest of the people I worked with suddenly started treating me like I was a germ & refused to talk to me.

It was evident to me that they were talking about me behind my back & spreading terrible rumors about me.
There was simply no other explanation. I'd been nothing but nice to these people.

So I asked a co-worker why noone would talk to me anymore. The answer was 'Just don't step on anyone's toes.. I learned that right away' So I asked '& how does one do that exactly?' but & was met with only silence.

Then the boss called a meeting about me which I was not invited to attend (which I thought was rather strange) & following that, a one on one meeting between me and him to hear my side.

He was completely unsympathetic even when I described him how I had been insulted daily, ordered around like someone's pet & then ignored for no apparent reason .

My advice is: If you ever are bullied at a job, take a close look at the boss..

If the boss is unsympathetic towards your plight & in some way actually suggests that you deserve such treatment
from coworkers, then he is every bit as much to blame & probably even encouragoing the bad behavior which is probably how he ended up with such a cut-throat staff of people in the 1st place.

I quit, realizing I could not win in this situation & moved on.

At my new job, I find I'm overjoyed if someone so much as smiles or talks to me & treats me like the human being that I am. & it happens every day.

I'm no longer walking on eggshells & thinking 'Oh, god, what am I in for today..' & actually look forward to going to work instead of dreading it.

I can't believe I let those clowns beat me down & make me feel bad about myself for so long. They now have my sympathy.

Anon E Mouse on 14 October 2007 20:12:29
I've been at my current job for nearly 2 years now. I started out as a newbie. So in the begining i was the "still learning" guy. So i understand that they could pound some blames on me.

But as i get better and better, and i consider myself 200% better then i was, i am still getting shouted at and humiliated. Sometimes with 7 people laughing at my face. We are now a team of 5. 1 manager and 4 workers in an office. And when ever some makes a mistake it is noted and dealt with. when it comes to me all hell breaks loose.

And why? because i am being giving the most boring tasks at work. My line of work is Software development, and i am being constantly given tasks like check this and that, make sure that this is fine.........and guess what? No Development which is my actuall line of work.

At work i've been given the duty of updating systems and websites. And i have been doing it for too long now, For example yesterday i didnt upload some stuff....and my boss goes along with sarcastic idiotic jokes like "Typical of our most effecient guy".

For example at 5 when every goes away....he tells "see you tomorrow to everyone ". And when it comes to me he doesnt even speak!! i know its a small thing but it affects me. He is always talking good about others...and in 2 years i heard maybe 2 compliments from him.

Anyways yesterday i applied for an other job. With a better pay!! and i hope that when i work hard(the result of being motivated by positive feedback about my work) will be much more appreciated.

Being infront of 8 people laughing at you, u put on a fake smile which is noticable from 8 miles away but still they keep on going.

What a bunch of assholes we have to work with!!....hopefully not any more
Feeing useless because of others on 27 October 2007 09:21:14
hie all
i am also in the same situation of a bullying boss but my situation is worse because i am living in the struggling Zimbabwe where jobs are hard to come by.Also i work for an indegenous company where my boss is the director so i have no one to report to.He always shouts at me calling me names, swearing at me, saying how worthless i am even with my IT degree.There is never a day that passes without him shouting at me.He says he told you something and yet he has not and if i try and defend myself he says i am surbotaging him.He has since been asking me out lying that he was not married and wanting to force matters.Since he is young,early thirties i believed and wanting to keep my job almost fell in but when i realised he was married i moved back.Now its even worse.The other time he called me asking if i was free to come to work on a weekend.When i got there all he was interested in was flirting with me coz there was not much work to be done.
My job has become a nightmare to me i even dread to go to work.I want to leave but jobs are difficult to come by even with my honors degree in Business Management and Information Technology.The other time i asked him why he was treating me like that and he said i can leave the company if i think he is illtreating me.There is no one to turn to since its a small company and he owns it.There is no HR or any other such dpt.The other guys he started as a partnership with him are stil in the same premises but it was dissolved they are now doing their own thing and have no say.Some friend told me to confront him or go report at the Labour Offices but i know i will risk losing my job.I am really stressed about my job and besides we are not paid well but i dont know what to do.So far two guys have left the company for other companinies.I want to resign but i dont have a new job.

Stressed me on 14 December 2007 09:35:48
Yes! Any suggestions I am being bullied from a co worker who is a counsellor, she has been able to twist all my words around and say that I was arregssive and destressed. When I challenged her please help?
candi on 20 December 2007 13:51:20
Wow

it is a comfort to know that others are in the same situation!!

Its really difficult when you hate your boss and aren't confident to get another job. I think you have to rise above it all - separate the wheat from the chaff and be cool. Verbal abuse and shouting are easiest to complain about, its the other things such as undermining and belittle-ing that are difficult to pinpoint.

Always have plan b (sell house, move, go back to college, get another job) easier said than done!! At least it gives you something to look forward too.

Don't let it affect your health - take more sick days if necessary.

Keep a note of issues/or keep it in your head - ready to list her faults to her boss, try to look objective + fair.
cyberbullied on 07 February 2008 12:32:33
I work in a police force and worked for 4 different supervisors, 2 of them "Bully Bosses". Upper management did nothing to address the situation and instead bury it, I have been the one labelled "troubled" and the one that needs assistance - supervision. Fact is that these bosses are so arrogant they never apologize, and don't feel they do anything wrong, they lack empathy and it is all about them, how does it affect them - and when things run smoothly and people - coworkers are having fun, they feel the need to tighten up the workplace and make it miserable by singling out someone, - targeting them, and making them the example by only focusing on the negative work performed, no matter what..., there is always something wrong - your report is too brief, or it is too complicated and it has to be redone..... all kinds of tactics, from with-holding development and courses, to denying time off because of work requirments. The best thing was to start documenting them and what they said, tape recording it, and in chronoligical order what is going on, then make a complaint about it - even if management doesn't want to address it, they'll move the person making the complaint to another section, which happened to me and some of my co-workers, those that don't say and endure it, still remain in the same situation and remain unhappy. It's unfortunate that some corporate & business structures - even government - allow this to flourish and ignore it.
Officer Pitbull on 24 February 2008 04:44:15
Hi, my name is james! i am a floor installer. My boss makes me feel stupid in front of the rest of the employes he has working for him. He knows i want to start my own business, but yet he makes me feel like i do not know what i am talking about when i do! he talks behind my back and me feel small to the rest of the employees. He praises me and puts me down at the same time and makes jokes and laughs about me to the other employees on the job sit. I want you to know that i am first nations native an everybody that works for ***** makes fun of me. I am 39 and live in Nova Scotia Canada, i have no friends nor do i have anyone that cares, what do i do!
James Lamrock on 08 March 2008 00:45:46
I have been having problems at my work place constantly being called for disiplinary meetings with no eveidence of any wrong doing I had enough and went and spoke to a Lawyer as I felt the union was not doing enough. Since the lawyer has contacted my HR I have had no problems I think they are scared when a lawyer is involved.
Nols on 15 April 2008 12:26:54
Everday my boss makes me feel stupid. Amd Im at the point that maybe I am ! I hate going to work everyday !!! Im only staying because of the health insurance as I need it . But I am ready to tell her that she will be talking to my lawyer !
If you go over her head HR and her boss will just let her know what was done and then that makes it worse. What can we do ? There are only 3 of us who work in the office plus one pt sales person. I have been told that I am not ALLOWED to get sick or to take a vaction. How does one not get sick ? Im so ready to quit !
Jo on 09 May 2008 13:07:53
i have been bullied for 4 years, i was never writen up until my new boss came here, he has his favorites and i do my job, im seeking counsiling and even on medication and theropy, he is a male, the males do not seem to get in any trouble at all, my boss has said some unkind things to me, im seeking an attorney becasue my oea attorney feels he just doesntlike me, but if u are a boss, everyone has to be treated equally. medication for four years and nightmares has lead me to theropy
kathy allen on 23 May 2008 11:51:22
My boss is head of Radiology, ECG, and Nuclear Medicine; she is a bully and she wants me out of the department all of a sudden. I have a short time before retirement and I have no idea what she is doing this. D....You should be ashamed of yourself; and so should you too T....and R.... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....I'm not going anywhere.....you'll have to deal with me until the last day I leave....
June on 19 June 2008 01:35:13
I was being bullied. I had worked in a place where I had a manager who spread malicious stories about me. She pitted other workers against me, humiliated me, gave me demeaning tasks, and had managers repeatedly call and hang up their phones. I had a couple of breakdowns. Later prior to my leaving that organization after 2 years, some people realized and told me that she was abusive to others as well. But I rec'd the brunt of it. She fired all the men. After I left some others left on their own. I have depression, and worry a lot about what others will do to me next even though I've been able to regain my sanity and not have to be with that awful psychopath anymore. The sick part of her abuse was that I ran into her in a store - she talked to me as if we were old friends. I walked away from her - can't scream at her b/c I would've looked unstable/bad/stupid. People really abused me b/c of her malicious attacks. I can't forgive her for this. Sometimes I find others to talk to about my experience who have been in the same predicament - only to validate that what was happening to me really, actually happened. I've come to the conclusion that I think the worst perpetrators of mobbing are women. Women are irrational, jealous, conniving, and quite hurtful when it comes to rumormongering. I am female BTW. I just like to keep to myself and steer clear of other females b/c of this experience. Are there others out there who have experience this garbage? I wish to read your stories too please - b/c it helps me see that I am not the only one with this phenomenon.

anonymous on 23 April 2007 19:43:22



I could of written this...my heart goes out to you too...I hope you found something better and yes, females are much worse than men and yes I am a woman! I also have only male friends...I am 43 years, too old for this kind of treatment from others, will not tolerate it anymore.
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:34:58
I recently applied for a job and start soon..I went to the bank that I am going to work for soon, and said a quick hello and did some banking business...I was told that I did not look happy bout my new job from a coworker in front of our new boss, I then repiled that I was nervous only cause its been so long such I had worked outside the home...I see now that he is someone to avoided..my boss seems ok but that remains to be seen...I hope it works out, I need to work, and need this job...
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:38:06
Yes! Any suggestions I am being bullied from a co worker who is a counsellor, she has been able to twist all my words around and say that I was arregssive and destressed. When I challenged her please help?


I am sorry...my childs teacher did this to me this past year...has a degree in psych, lots of awards and etc and twisted everything around and then made us look bad and then said that my child had problems when she clearly does not...she then ran to the principal and lied and when I went to him, he would not even talk to me..

there are alot of sociopathic people in top postions cause they know how to get what they want by hurting others, lyings and twisting things around...best thing to do is to not engage, and to move far from them or else you might get a heart attack, not worth it imo.
Anonymous on 21 June 2008 02:44:26
I just quit my job yesterday...totally unexpected! I think I managed to pull one over on my bullying bosses (two of them). I cannot even begin to list all of my woes and complete discord with this charity!
However, I will briefly describe what unfolded within the last hour of my decision to run like hell out of there. Those two micro-managing bullies backed me into a corner...literally, in my office and behind my desk. Seriously, I couldn't walk out from behind my desk if I wanted to.
Then came the attack...a myraid of "stupid" questions, one pertaining to my falsifying my timesheet. Understand, that I am an Event Planner in charge of 2 major fundraisers (golf and 8,000person family walk) and several family events such as picnics, bowling, theatre, etc. Miraculously, I am to "make this happen" in 33 hours per week. Of course we have to minus 10 hours per week for THEIR "make me look good" reports and meeting. And let's not forget the committee meeting to attend to pull off such grand events. If you do the math, it doesn't leave much time to plan anything.
Noteably, I am a dedicated, passionate, and caring worker...hard worker at that. So, I decided that in order to get the job done, I would "donate" my time. Yeah, I can hear some of you reader now...yes, I worked for FREE. My bosses had the nerve to tell me that I was NOT permitted to "donate" my time. It is manditory that I work 33 hours no more no less and that is that.

Is it just me or does that seem to be the absolute most asinine thing that had ever heard of?

When I first joined the "team" in october, I thought I had reached the ultimate dream job! Eight months later, it turned into my most horrifying worst nightmare.

God, help us all if that is what the world in charity organizations has come to!
bring down the stupid bosses! on 02 July 2008 18:57:24
I worked in a research laboratory at Houston for a "well known" person from 2004-2008. A month after I joined, I started getting bullied by some senior coworkers. Never did I realize that the so called close friends that I had in the laboratory were actually established bullies. By the middle of 2006, I started developing head aches, fever, nausia, nightmares, eating disorders and much more as a result of severe verbal abuse. I complained to my chief a number of times and none of these complaints resulted in any action. For about three years, I got picked for silly mistakes or got yelled at for manufactured reasons. I continued making complaints. Towards the end of 2006, I learned that I was getting set up constantly for failures by some senior members of the group. By mid 2007, I started getting verbally threatened, I was told that I better quit if I dont want to get killed. Not once, three to four times. The fourth time, I made an official complaint quoting the threatening words that were used by my co-worker. The witness, an asian american refused to have witnessed the incident. I was retaliated for making this complaint and it compounded my struggles. I got stamped as a gay, although I was happily married. I got humiliated a number of times in the lab. I could not believe that all these things were happening to me. The university where I worked showed little interest in helping me out. I had to seek therapy to feel better. At some point, I realized that although I loved the work that I was doing and I had carried out my research in that field for a long time, it was time for me to leave. The incidents at work had already made an indescribable amount of damage to my health. I could not eat, could not sleep, had nightmares about the abuses every day, I relived the experience over and over, felt that even god is not going to help me. Meanwhile at work, I got blamed again and again for no reason, I continued to get threatened in the lab, I was not getting the resources on time to do the work and even the resources that I had got targetted. I made another complaint and a few days later when I realized that nothing is getting anywhere, I quit the job indicating the reason.

My mistakes:

I did not realize what was going on until late.
Trusted everyone- a big mistake.
Did not realize that "my friend" was the main bully.
Had faith in the organization, believed that they will understand what is happening.
I thought that everyone is fundamentally good at heart.
I felt that If I do hard work, have determination and put all my mind behind one thing, good things will happen.
Did not learn enough human psychology before I started working.
Communicated clealy and openly to every one.
Was not comfortable telling lies.
Was too much dedicated to the work that I was doing, was too passionate about my research.
Felt that I have the ability to do independent work and I had the confidence to collaborate with others to develop new research directions.

Sorry.. I cannot continue this any more. I will come back and write about everything later. Its Just overwhelming. Time to relax and think about something good.
Unknown on 23 September 2008 20:24:50
The millennium phenomenon of: “TV BULLIES” WHY?

The competing and judging of equals in any area of excellence has always been exciting to watch. Those involved in providing a platform for these talents are to be commended.

However, just recently while watching a popular TV talent show in noticed that there were many clearly unsuitable, innocent, often deluded but no less vulnerable people being paraded in front of a judging panel and I asked myself; is this right, why are these people being treated in this way?

I could not answer this question and it made me realize what I was taking part in when watching this show was little more than playground or workplace “bullying”.
As we all know bullies and their cronies like pick on someone less able to defend themselves, while those watching all too often say and do nothing in some cases actually encourage the bullies to manipulate the situation to the disadvantage of the person being mistreated. Worst still there are those who watch and let the bullying continue even though they are in the position to stop it.

I am asking is it necessary to include these clearly out of place, less fortunate people on these shows to be humiliated in front of millions watching.
Surely the appropriate and kindest thing to do would be to interview them before the show, rather than having them go through this cruel charade on screen.

Some program makers may use as their defence “this is what their audiences want”. However many people also like to watch other inhumane spectacles like; dog fighting, bull fighting etc, yet these are not allowed on TV and for good reason because of they are cruel.

We often ask why do so many people hurt themselves by drink and drugs or are found in rivers or at the end of a rope? Yet we indulge in this type of exploitative entertainment, the pimping of others who are just trying to get through life as we are and who need our consideration and deserve our admiration not mouth covered sniggers and mocking laughter from those born “luckier” than them.

These shows are great stepping stones for people of all ages who have the ability to compete and display their talents; surely the successful contestants who go on to do well on them don’t want to achieve their dreams at the expense of others less able.

We need these people more than we appreciate; can you imagine a world full of all singing, all dancing, perfectly formed and groomed individuals, scary isn’t it? Let’s not treat them like this any more.

I am asking all who believe this to be wrong to: Start; talking, writing, phoning, emailing, texting, blogging, podcasting, visiting those involved in this practice and perhaps we will help to bring it to an end.
Let’s urge program producers, managers and presenters to change this part of their shows and find other ways to produce stars that spare these susceptible people this indignity.
FRCOLLINS on 30 September 2008 14:28:06
Just want to add another voice to the Workplace Bullying problem. One of the biggest challenges is getting management to admit there's an elephant in the room; WPB stinks, it uses up approx $30,000 per year in company funds PER bullied worker, and you have to figure in the (company) the time the bully spends spraying on "his territory" and explaining why his behaviour is totally appropriate for the workplace....
FedUp on 26 October 2008 18:44:08
I work in a family owned business. My boss loves to act smart as if he knows the best of everything (but he doesn't). Also responsibilities come in numbers even though they are not a part of my work profile. He does not acknowledge overburdening of work. He wants to pay peanuts. I just hope i get out of this job soon. Unprofessionalism is all i can describe my work place about.
Troubled Indian Workplace on 08 November 2008 07:50:07
My boss in in his 60's and I am the IT manager. He sets stupid targets, has no clue about IT at all, talks about me behind my back, asks for things to be done then forgets he has asked, calls me at 3:15am to ask questions, complains that his internet connection (3G) has stopped working or the signal is low even though he is in the USA and I am in the UK (what am I supposed to do about it?) Takes everyone elses word before mine then assumes they are all correct. Will not spend money on the firm, tries to get me to use cracked copies of software because its too expensive then buys 2 boats and spends over £1million on them both. Offers my services to all his friends.... the list is endless.

The issue I have is that he will never do any of this to my face, he knows that I will shoot him down so its all done behind closed doors in meetings etc and I get to hear about it after the meeting. It makes me look stupid in front of everyone at that meeting and this happens almost every day. He is a true bully as he never every talks to me to my face. I once asked him why he does it and he said "I don't know, its just the way I feel".
Anonymous on 01 December 2008 18:49:30
In this economy - how can person find another job to get away from a workplace bully? I can't even think when I am off work - I am so traumatized. And what kind of a reference will the bully give?
Anonymous on 07 December 2008 21:31:29
Hi, I've been with an organization for over 7 years. Once a supervisor who was demoted because of a bad situation i found was my fault. I was considered a liar which coworkers turned against because of my fault. I admitted that i lied BecAUSE OF MY sudden reaction and pressure from my supervior. Since then and now, i still get bad looks, lack of interactions from coworkers because of my supervisor spreading my fault to everyone in my department. denied promotions and still fight for raises promised after having good evaluations. My supervisor continues to make my life a living hell. Everyone on my job still treats my like trass and someone who does not exist . i see a therapy and take medications for my stress. today no one likes me and wish i would resign. please help i feel like a failure. i can't talk to my supervisor after turning coworkers against about how i feel.
Anonymous on 19 January 2009 17:49:50
Hi,

I want to know what to do if the boss is manager, owns the firm. has no HR dept etc...

I Have given notice I will be leaving anyway in few weeks but each day is like hell now.

what can I do??

Can i leave ealier then by notice period?
Anonymous on 30 January 2009 12:11:51
p.s. I have found new job this is what started my boss to bully me because he is not happy i'm leaving.
please help???
Anonymous on 30 January 2009 12:14:33
I just quit my job because my boss (vice principal) is probably the biggest prick I have ever met in my existence.

It feels good being able to stick it to the man.

Asshole bosses are wastes of skin. Pathetic human beings who have no soul. They deserve to go to hell.
Anonymous on 05 June 2009 23:32:04
My boss bulies me as well. I work in the company for 8 months and have been constatly bullied almost every single day. Just to name few things: constant criticism, regular threats to sack, refusing giving me a contract because she does not know if she wants to work with me or not, blaming me for everything including for someone else mistakes, talking to me in a degrading manners, makes me work extremely extended hours, refusing to give me my holidays. I cant leave because of financial commitments but i am going to go to my GP to get a sick note and go on a stress related leave and then I will start greviance procedure and probably continue in Tribunal. I was scared so much, but now realise that I cant let it go just like this for nothing. I will try to get as much as i can from that bastards. Assholes should be punished.
Anonymous on 14 June 2009 03:13:38
I already posted my comment under "help", but when I kept reading, I was FLABBERGASTED! What has happened to the workplace? I agree with anonymous on smile, smile, they want you to be miserable. Also, take notes, and third, talk to a lawyer. I am thinking about this because my boss has been getting away with this for years and it makes me want to puke! You should NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH CRAP WHEN YOU WORK YOUR BUTT OFF!
not going to be a victim on 26 August 2009 03:42:03
i work for a woman who does nothing but brings all her staff down and shouts at you but she thinks she is just talking to you. it is starting to affect me as i take everything serious she says to me and i dread going into work as you never no what mood she is going to be in.
noreen on 02 September 2009 18:40:32
i was bullied for sometime around 5 months
but the manager left due to not being job there for him.
he bullied me in many ways. hes still on the shops books just moved down road to another store after doing this should i be able to put up with this? thinking about taking grievence out against him as its been getting me down that he can get away with this
Anonymous on 10 September 2009 19:25:27
I work for a charity (and from other postings this type of workplace seems particularly aligned with bullying) quite ironic. The top (and only) manager where I work has unusual management skills, outsources everything that used to be in her predecessors job description is super friendly and acts like everything is wonderful - until something needs addressed that is negative then she can't cope at all and starts laying blame and freaking out - crying, overreacting, thinking the office is against her. It is a one tiered management system with a Board of Directors above who know nothing of the day to day running of the office. A board she has hand picked and gotten rid of anyone who has challenged her. She put me in a terrible position by telling me organisational issues about to happen which were directly related to our pay and conditions and told me not to tell anyone (my colleagues and friends). She heard me talking to someone and thought I was speaking to them of the "secrets" which I wasn't and screamed at me and ran out of the office crying - quite bizaar beahviour for a top level manager. We are overworked, understaffed and she has no idea the labour intensive jobs she 'puts the organisation up for' and doesn't care as long as her life is happy. I am however, very depressed and feel sick going to work everyday - the office is full of stressed and unhappy workers.
Anonymous on 17 October 2009 08:34:03
The government in my jurisdiction is presently looking at legislation on Bullying in the Workplace. Bullying is hard to prove, but I think that if good records are kept someone in the Company would at least listen to your concerns. If facts are noted and not any personal comments, then focus on the behaviour rather than the the whys. There probably are no whys. Any emotional abuse should not be tolerated. The employer is responsible to provide a safe working environment. Check company polices and make complaints as per the Company procedures or Union procedures. No one is alone. I am currently being bullied. It is hard to think that this is actually happening, but it is. I am reading up a lot of legistlation and what my rights are. That is all I can go by. I am planning to work with support groups to get through this. See how long it lasts......
Another Anonymous Target on 11 November 2009 23:58:09
II work for a Local Authority in South Wales. My boss is trying to bully me and two other colleagues in my team. She has no idea of the stress that we are normally under and has set impossible deadlines for completed reports. The demands are unreasonable and her attitude means she treats us with distain. She is protected by the service manager and the rest management team who just let her get on with it. I am fed up now and so are my colleagues, if she continues it will only be a matter of time before we take action and a grievance to our union to intervene. Get the backing of your union make sure you join your trade union especially if you are in the public sector the public sector has more than it’s fair share of bully managers. Can anybody tell me why that is?
Redrobo on 12 December 2009 13:27:00
i also work for a local authority in south wales, and my boss is also bullying me and my the other two collegues on my team! we have tried to bring her unproffesional behavior to the attention of her superiors, but they were not interested. i recently met with my union representative who was very supportive as she has encountered her before. i have watched this woman bully other collegues in the past and it made me feel terrible! like i was back in school watchin another kid gettin bullied, but not wanting to make a stand incase its you next in line to be tormented! unfortunatly i have become her new target. i am desparatly seeking new employment. i know she is just a terrible person and must have serious insecurity problems, but i can't help but wonder: why me?
AnotherDayAnotherDollar on 05 January 2010 13:34:12
i have a manager you never know what mood he is going to be in ,if he's a bad one watch out he shouts at you in front of everyone .if something go's worng he takes it out on the staff
you should like going to ,not at how shop.
our boss has got to go.
shop work on 12 January 2010 10:10:16
My boss set me up to not apply for team leader position because she said I could be an independent manager instead. Well that promotion never happened and now even though I know as much as the minions she promoted, I'm left out. I'm told everything that I did wrong in front of my whole department at our meetings. People in other departments said that she is just afraid of me because I don't need her and I actually am the one who figures out complicated problems. My coworkers from my department complain to me about her but in meetings they side with her and attack me and say they wouldn't have done things the way that I did them. A bunch of ass-kissing phonies. Very depressing to go to work every day. The owner of our company knows that my boss is a problem but everyone feels that she's too afraid of my boss to fire her. My boss is very unstable and cries if you say things she doesn't like. Can you imagine a boss who cries if you confront her? Yet she sure likes to dish it out! I can't stand it anymore. But with this economy and my age, there's no place to go.
PhedUp on 18 February 2010 02:09:16
My boss is a French guy who just cannot respect any other nationality. He's highly racist and treats all of us like piece of sh**. We are all underpaid employees and are stuck only because it's recession, hope he understands this someday... he will also understand why his employees are not productive.

1) He would barge into the meeting room even if you were with your client, and insult you

2) He would use all sort of foul language in the office

3) He would call your extention and call you in his office immediately, and when you go, he'd just be like 'when did I call you, f*** off!

4) He would read all your inbox and outbox from the server directly, and leave stupid comments which outrage you.

5) Would purposely give you tasks during lunch and exit time, and not allow you to leave... We are then forced to go without lunch because lunch time is only allowed between 1-2.

There are many other reasons which just make us feel life would have been so good with 11 months of annual leave and 1 month of work... hahaha
Stressed-out on 23 February 2010 07:37:39
These days I'm in a job I actually like with loads of overtime and opportunities to save, I have a laugh with my colleagues and even our manager's a pretty cool dude, but it was a completely different story a year ago. I was working in telesales and my job title was "Call Centre Personnel". What a joke! Call centres are nice and anonymous with the support network there if you need it. This was an office the size of a goldfish bowl and even less privacy. No private meeting rooms and because it's telesales of course there's an incredibly high turnover of staff, so as a result whenever anyone did get fired, they'd just get taken to the other side of the room and everyone could hear what was going on. The boss was also too tight to fork out for a computer so everyone's personal information is written down where anyone can see it, which I'll come to in a minute. He was not only a total dickhead but he had his 3 favourite members of staff too - two guys and a girl - who would grass everyone up given half a chance, and he did nothing to discourage this. When he fired one girl, we heard that one of his suckers was sitting in on it, which is surely unethical. One day I'd come down with a really horrible cold and I'd spent the whole weekend feeling like shit but hoping I'd be feeling better by the Monday. I wasn't, so I phoned to let him know I wouldn't be coming in. His response was to basically call me a liar over the phone because he "didn't believe in illness". I pointed out that if he didn't like it he'd have to fire me but I'd see him in court, and that even if I wasn't feeling ill when I picked the phone up his attitude was making me want to puke so I'd appreciate it if he didn't call me a liar. When I went in the next day I found one of my colleagues on the floor of the Ladies' having an asthma attack so I had to call an ambulance. Luckily they got there really quickly but as they were carting her out of the building he shouted after her, "Don't be all day! The MD's coming in later!" All he gave a f*** about was targets and covering his own fat arse. I wasn't particularly friendly with this woman myself but he could at least have called the hospital to ask how she was. Four times every day - at the start of the shift and after lunch and both paid breaks - he would spend half an hour telling us how we needed to work harder and then in the same breath that no matter what we did we would never make as much money as he did, that with all his hard work he's got a really posh penthouse flat in Birmingham city centre and a fancy car and that made him better than us - fact! I knew there must be people who do still think like that but at least most of them have got the decency to hide it! This dude was a megalomaniac and entirely unembarrassed about it. I once pointed out to him that he was spending a total of 2 hours each day giving us his little pep talks - 2 hours in which we could have actually been hitting targets and making money for ourselves and him and keeping Mr MD happy. He couldn't think what to say to that and just told me I had to learn to respect management. I toughed it out for 3 months until one Thursday when I'd arranged to meet friends after work for a pint. We'd all had a pretty crap day saleswise and he said we had to stay for an extra hour after work. I couldn't have anyway but when I learned we wouldn't even be paid the overtime I refused point blank to let myself be exploited, to which he gave me the choice between that or not having a job. I think that's the first time in my life I've actually been relieved to get the sack. Mind you I'm British and we have instant access to benefits the minute we lose a job through no fault of our own. Any other country in the world and I'd be screwed. Anyway I digress - my elation was short lived. A few days later I was sitting around at home when my mobile rang with a withheld number. It was a bloke claiming to be from a waste disposal company who had got my details from the Job Centre and he wanted to interview me for an admin position. Alarm bells started ringing - since when do the Job Centre give out people's details? When you're signing on you're expected to seek work yourself - hence the name Job SEEKER's Allowance. So who else could know I was signing on? Then the penny dropped - when I put my claim in the DSS must have contacted the boss just to confirm that I really had been fired as opposed to walked out (in the UK you can't claim social security if you've purposely made yourself unemployed) and of course, being the discreet bloke he was he must've been discussing my business in front of people who had no right to hear it! And he had given those same unauthorised staff access to his diary with all the phone numbers in it when he couldn't be arsed to make his own calls. I decided to humour this bloke and told him I'd call back when I'd done some research on the company - which I did. I rang the number of his "company", turned out it was real all right but the number had changed! The next day I got the same phone call from a woman, only this time the "workplace" was a fancy dress shop that she'd probably made up. Again, I fobbed her off with the same excuse cuz I wasn't sure how to play it. One thing I had decided, though, any more anonymous calls and I'm not answering it. Anyone genuine will leave me a message. My phone rang a couple more times in the next 5 minutes - withheld both times so I ignored it. When it rang again it did have a number on it - a Birmingham one, so I did answer, expecting it to be one of the job agencies I had registered with. Instead it was another man, introducing himself as "Derek from the Job Centre" - bullshit, there's no one called Derek at the Job Centre! - and how he was cutting off my Job Seekers' Allowance because he'd had complaints from employers that I wasn't answering my phone. By that stage I was starting to feel pretty f***ing angry at the boss's blatant disregard for my private information but the guy hung up before I could get a chance to tell him to stop ringing me and to get his twatty mates to stop too. I tried calling back the number shown on the call ID, but it didn't take incoming calls. That's when I knew for sure the calls had come from the office and although I had no proof I knew it had been the boss's 3 stooges making them. It was almost six so I knew I couldn't do anything about it that evening, but I got up very early the next morning, timed it so I was at the office for 9:15 and made sure I barged in right in the middle of the boss's I'm-better-than-you speech. I had a real go at him in front of everyone about putting my private information into a position where it can be seen by non-management and of course he denied it had anything to do with him. I showed him the number I had, and he went white as a sheet, admitting that was the outbound number for the call centre and apologies if anyone had abused that but he wasn't aware of it. I then told him it was his responsibility to know who was looking at confidential details about anything, particularly staff records, and here was the deal - I'd keep my mouth shut about the phone calls providing he supplied me with a glowing reference and didn't talk shit about me to future employers about me being fired for not hitting targets. "Otherwise," I warned him, "I'll be straight to your MD and telling him about your breach of data protection which is a sackable offence, and you can kiss goodbye to your fat bank account, nice car and f*** pad in the city centre where you can take any chick, and it'll be this bunch of retards that are better than you! And how embarrassing will that be?" One of the boss's stooges gave me a look like a piece of shit and asked what made him think anyone from the office had been ringing me. I glared back and told the pathetic little sycophant not to insult my f***ing intelligence any more than he already had, and stormed out again. When I started the job I've got now - still call centre work but inbound this time, so no targets to worry about, and the people there are interested in stuff other than money! - the boss was chasing up my references for the last year and told me everyone had said really nice things about me so clearly Dickhead decided to do the right thing for once! I would've liked to not have to blackmail him but hey, sometimes ya gotta do the right thing for the right reason ain't ya? He was a bullying twat and all I did was give him a taste of his own medicine. Like one or two people above have mentioned, turn the situation to your advantage. I did and I don't regret it at all. Just remember being your boss doesn't mean they're better than you and you'll all be fine.
Jan on 22 March 2010 13:29:42
I was friends with my boss when she started and we used to have a good time and talk and laugh together and talk about things in our personal life. I had been doing a good job handling our recruitment in the HR department and people were saying so. I was trying very hard at my job and staying back even to try to get things done properly. Suddenly about 6 months into our working relationship she went sour and wouldn't speak to me any more except to say hello in the morning and goodbye in the afternoon. She began picking at every piece of work I did making me think I had problems with my accuracy and attention to detail. In meetings she would make rebuke me in front of others to the point where I felt like I was afraid to open my mouth. She would give me tasks to do that I had never done before and expect them to be done and just walk off. I cried once because I didn't want to get it wrong and didn't know what to do because she was no help to me. We sat in very close quarters. Fancy sitting only a 2 body lengths away from you and them not speaking to you all day. She also stopped asking me any questions and went to other people to find the answers directly. At first I didn't want to believe there was something wrong, it became clear when I confronted her about it and said how it was making me feel uncomfortable and asked if there were any issues she had with me. I said do you realise you have not been speaking to me at all? She just coldly looked at me and said what can I do about that with no emotion, like she could care less. This proved that there was definately something going on. Things continued to get worse this went on for 5 months, I took it to her boss over her and she was furious with me and then started talking to me about alleged performance issues that I had in my job. Why had she not spoken to me about any of these before this? She also gave me a book on how to handle rejection as if it was me who had the problem. haha. She convinced her manager I think that something was wrong with me. Then after some things I tried to do with no assistance from her (even though it was something I had never done before and she did not help me) something went wrong with it and she threatened me with a warning letter. This was the last straw, I resigned after this. She was the HR manager too so where else could I go. I think it may have started after I told her that there were two guys in the office who hit on me. Maybe she got jealous I don't know. I like some people on this forum feel like I can't trust women anymore and seem to have more male friends.
Ruth on 13 April 2010 13:08:49
I'm female who had a female boss that belittled everyone. I worked a reception job and she was in charge of payroll. Was unfortunately good friends with the owners too. I remember her yelling and almost becoming physical with a girl, over messing up her check and not having it for the 3rd time after she'd quit, so was understandable she wanted it. Came all the way up to get it from out of state after she told her they had it. After the fight in the lobby, this girl left empty handed and the owners came out of hiding asking if she's gone yet, then they all began laughing about it. Making racial "black" jokes how she probably wanted it for crack. So you couldn't go to anybody higher up.

I had to direct her calls and never knew when she'd flip out. She slammed her door (which was right behind me), hit me and others frequently in head with rolled up papers, and threw pens on my desk (and I mean HARD so I had to go picking them up as they flew all over the place.) So generally I was ducking everytime she'd walk by. Sometimes it actually hurt, but hurt my ego more because she'd do it in front of everyone. Insulted everything we did no matter what. Just alot of unnecessary stress she's inflict on herself and others. It made me so nervous I remember after her having a total meltdown, it left me so shaken I forgot how to use the fax machine lol. I couldn't perform my job because I was just waiting to get pounced on. Is hard to explain if you're not actually witnessing it. Is hard to believe it I'm sure. But this actually happened. I finally resigned day after she stood over me while I was doing paper work to tell me what I worthless piece of shit I was. How I never do anything right and then said, "your job isn't HARD...it maybe hard to YOU!" I wanted to leave right then but instead I just stopped coming in all together. Was the worst time in my life I was working there.
Anonymous on 21 April 2010 15:54:34
Oh, should have mentioned this too. While I was doing some filing in the office, I saw her and a friend (that worked there too) snooping through employee's applications and personal files. Reading out loud and laughing. Seeing how much people made at previous jobs, just being nosy. And other people even in janitorial services were going through them, anybody she thought wouldn't tell. But if you wanted to see your own she wouldn't let you. Personal report I mean. Lot of gossip, lots of things going on that shouldn't have.
Anonymous on 21 April 2010 16:10:34
My supervisor is acting like a b"" She is mad ata me from the very beginning of my work because I was not "open" about my personal life and the stuff that has nothing to do with work place like religious beliefs, political views and views on gay people and abortion (what that has to do with work issues??). She keeps ignoring my questions so other people standing close to me have to ask them to her and then she answers. Today she was looking at one magazine that came in mail and it was a clothing magazine (chadwicks) and she made a remark that she would "never wear anything that revealing and cheap". She is in her 60s and if you know chadwicks it is more for my age group (30s) and I said that it was not like Bedford fair (which she finds skimpy once on a while!) and possibly it was for other age group, like maybe... for mine... and that started the fire... She is also using weird techniques like indirect insult. Example: someone comes in and gives my a compliment to my hair (it was an older lady actually) and guess what? - after the complimenter leaves, she goes to my co-worker of almost her age and tell her that "long hair is good only on the pillow" and giggles innaturally........ Also she is always critisizes my food (thinking that I am eating weird things from my home country) although it can be veggies from Costco..... HR is worthless... why is that? They are friendly to corporation, who wants a mess or scandal? But I heard from her former employee that she was trying to find out what guy I am dating.... How is that for business talks? tired of it, too educated to be her level...
sleepless-in-MT on 26 May 2010 06:30:52
So is there any legal recourse? It's nice to see I'm not the only one (and that there is a such thing as bullying by management), but I need to know what I can do if I get fired. Right now my every move is being watched in a way that is making me terrified that eventually the boss will find something that he can fire me about. Like all of you, there is no reason for this treatment toward me, so I need to know what to do if I am terminated.
Jon on 16 June 2010 02:07:47
At [...] Nursing Home in Halifax, Nova Scotia, the longest serving deadwood have the exclusivity of working in the establishment. Too much backbiting from the longest serving bosses down to the shit cleaners. They have some things in common: little education, have liking to gossip, they have bedfellowship with Philipino workers (30%) imported by one co-owner married to a Philipino.
For newly recruited staff, there is a high staff turnover. If you can't stand the gossip, the smelly resident's rooms or the rotten administration, or worse still the official Philipino vernacular spoken along the corridors and offices, then you are surely destined to abscond by the second day.
The imported semi-educated Philipinos backbite those they don't like. Most of the slightly qualified RNs have been made section bosses. They speak a language similar to English, if not speaking their vernacular. They are the most dreaded workplace bullies! An investigative journalist posing as a PCW will soon spill out an expose of the rot in that work place. If nobody intervenes, something big is bound to happen in that rathole more than the current resident mortality of one resident dying every three weeks. If you doubt, get the statistics of the resident exodus and deaths. Empty beds testify this.
Betty Chapman on 07 July 2010 02:35:38
My boss is the CEO of the company. The best part is she lied her up through interview to get the position and she's been lying since then. She claimed she has a phD and what we found out , she got it overnight through some virtual university online. Our Office starts at 8.30am but she'll come in at 11.am or 3pm or not at all. best part is she can even go shopping during working hours ! Its just so pain stricken when she picks on us the managers ... She would just spend her time in office picking on people's behaviors and would go on and on for hours . She expects managers to brief on everything of the company! The best part is her boss knows about all these and does nothing..all he's saying is wait till the end of the contract ... well that's another 1 year to go ! She would pick on me day in and out ... but when I'm in her room she does not say anything ! I reckon she sees me as a threat as she's just so inexperience in the industry. Imagine from a secretary to a CEO !
Sammy Joe on 10 July 2010 09:20:01
i am getting bullid by a manger at work dont now if i can take them to court she is all ways makeing me up set and i fill like to kill my self because of this shit
dazzyboy on 11 July 2010 06:30:00
What can be done with bulling of manager,supervior neither one has a college degree. are spanish one around firing any one if you do not speak their languag. fine a way to fire you are have you feeling like you a third class citizen. the manager who is spanish so is the supevior. no degree. run around like idiots. try to fine a way to bring you down by other employee. fine coworker who do not like you come inthe office goes inthe room close the door. to fine out things bout you that makes no sense. you cannot go to hr. because they all work together aganist you. you do not know who to trust. next manager coming to you with negative about you .HOW do these people keep theri jobs. Because their uneducated this is how they have to bully the employee that they do not like. what can be done about people like this. who allow them to keep their jobs? they are nothing but liar. try to intimadate you if they can. you work you butt off. supervisor will make you feel crap.
anonymous on 12 July 2010 05:27:09
My boss is a dictatorial monster who seems to feel that if anything in your private life is disagreeable to him it can and will be an employment issue.
After being a widower for a number of years I recently remarried. My wife is several years younger than I, very attractive, and an avid naturist. While I don't participate in that aspect of her life, I understand that that is part of what makes her the woman I love. Somehow the dictator found out about it and was irate. He called me into his office and told me that if my wife didn't curtail her "deviant tendencies" he would fire me.
I told him that what she does is her business, and I don't even have the right to tell her that she must dissociate herself from an integral part of who she was before we wed. The boss said it reflected poorly on the company, and the directors would endorse his firing of me if she didn't quit.
One of the directors is a member of the naturist club my wife belongs to. She told him, and since then, the tyrant has backed off a bit, but now regularly insults me and announces to anyone that will listen that my wife is a nudist.
I have asked him to quit, but he says "rank has its privileges", and apparently tormenting me is one of them. He has told me privately that he will make my life so miserable that I will quit. When I asked why, he simply gave me a smug smirk and said because he can.
I have worked in this office for thirty five years. I haven't called in sick in nearly two decades. I'm never late, my work ethic is good, and I am very competent and knowledgeable in my field. I fail to see why my wife's personal activity should be such a source of concern for him. I have no photos of her "going native", or anything that would even suggest she is a naturist.
I dread going to work everyday now. This job was my source of stability and comfort when my first wife passed away, but now its a private hell, equipped with its own miniature Satan. I wish I could retire, but in this sagging economy that isn't likely.
tired of the abuse on 26 July 2010 14:39:44

Add Comments:

 
Name:
Have you experienced workplace bullying?





     

By accessing this website you agree to be bound by our Terms and Conditions of use