Wow! Talk about a lawsuit waiting to happen!

I can assure you being crabby, moody and sneaky is not typical "Hispanic female personality". Sounds like your boss is ignorant and may be a bit of a racist.

Crabby, moody and sneaky are evidence of someone who is unhappy and maybe a bit dishonest. Last time I checked that extended to just about every skin color you can imagine.

Your principal has set you up for failure by being weak and non-confrontational. If you say nothing, you stay miserable with this lady. If you speak up and say the wrong thing, she gets mad and goes to the boss who then would probably find the guts to confront someone -- you!

As a manager, I would not want my employees confronting one another without me being in the room to act as a referee and a witness. Her response to your complaint (especially her inability to offer you a workable solution) is evidence of her lack of leadership. She probably will not be much help but because she is a superior to you and your co-worker, you may need to get her involved in the problem in order to develop a solution.

I would discourage you from confronting her alone as something you say or do may be twisted to mean something else by the time it gets to others. I would encourage you to address the issue with your co-worker as a helpful friend and see if you can generate some dialogue with her that may lead to a workable solution. Obviously something is bothering her. The sooner you know what it is you may be able to do something to help her with it. If on the other hand she does not want to tell you or if she says you are the problem then you can politely and professionally suggest the two of you need to go to the principal and have a discussion.

I applaud your wisdom in not taking it upon yourself to confront her. You are not in authority over her and she would not recognize any move on your part as being official or helpful.

I think if you approach her from the position of: "something is wrong and WE need to make it right if WE can" would be helpful in getting her to speak with you about her moodiness and possibly her sneakiness. I would not repeat what the principal said about her to her. THAT is a lawsuit waiting to happen!

Several times I tried your approach with my office mate and nothing was achieved. She always denied that anything was wrong or implied that I was perceiving things wrongly. I left the conversations more frustrated than I began. I eventually just gave up.

Well, either she is not being honest with her feelings towards you or you are way off in how you are reading her behavior. I am not sure if that is a typical trait among women of Norwegian descent. (smile)

If you still have to share office space with her you may think about doing The Hardest Thing in the World to Do -- being nice to her even though she is not nice back. As my mother says, "Kill them with kindness."

Smile at her every morning. Find out her favorite drink or snack and bring it to her monthly. Offer to do things for her. Befriend her. Find out what her hobbies are and get her something or tell her about something related to them.

She may open up and change her behavior toward you or she may not. But at least you will have tried to break the barrier. It will cost you very little, and in the end she will have to admit you are one heck of a nice person.

Conquer her with love. No matter how it turns out, you win.