While I frequently advocate for the employee I will agree with you that there are employees who amaze management with their expectations and requests. As an HR guy, I am frequently trying to help the employee get what they have coming to them while at the same time enforcing the rules and regulations our company has laid out for the workers to follow.

I have had women use all of their vacation and sick days, then take maternity leave, and then return and expect extra sick days and vacation -- because of their maternity leave!

I have had employees get in way over their heads on new homes and trucks, and then come in and ask for raises to make up the difference!

I have had bosses make promises to employees they did not come through on. ("I'll pay you for the overtime." "I'll match your 401(k)." "I'll give you a sign-on bonus." "You're next in line for promotion.") And I have had employees lie to me about their skills in the interview. ("Yes, I know MS Office Suite." "No, my kids never keep me from coming to work." "I have never used up all of my sick days." "I don't get involved in office gossip or partisan politics.")

In short, there are errors on both sides -- management and labor -- because there are humans on both sides and humans frequently say and do things they should not.

I understand your frustration in spending time and money
developing an employee who speaks against you. Denying them a raise is light compared to firing them for insubordination. I also know what it is like to work for bosses who speak against you behind your back and praise you to your face. Or who ridicule their employees openly in group meetings, engendering harsh feelings and hateful attitudes as a result, and then wonder where people's morale went!

So I will agree with you, Ben that employees do fail their bosses and bosses are not the only people who make mistakes and mishandle situations. Sometimes employees do so as well. But what I don't agree with is the profanity you use in describing the situation and the employee in question. Obscenities reflect a limited vocabulary and denigrate the person being addressed. The use of curse words to describe a person is indicative of disrespect and reflects the hate you feel for them. While I can agree with your sense of betrayal and outrage that someone you have helped has turned around and attacked you, I cannot agree with demeaning him by calling him filthy names. In fact, at our company, if you used the language you have used in your e-mail to describe one of our employees in public or private , you would be disciplined too!

Thanks for the note, though. Not all bosses are always wrong and not all employees are always right.

Great post, HR Guy... as always the voice of reason.

Though I sympathise with many employers, I have been in situations of managment before, I do not think you would wish my boss on anybody. I work for a small tribal community, where many of the federal laws have no effect, and lunatics like her get away with the craziest stuff. I will post something about her and you'll see. Sorry for your idiot employee. Don't feel too bad about it though, like you said, you control the paycheck.

Ben, it sounds like you abused your power as a boss when you denied this person's raise. A decent boss would discipline this employee, but be professional enough to separate any personal feelings you might have against him and make his salary review based on performance. I've been in the bosses chair, and had to deal with this very thing. It is hard, but thats why bosses get paid more.

I am the boss as well, but I have also worked for a lot of other people.
Did you deny his raise because of his work performance, or because he hurt your ego? It is normal if your employees do not like the boss, but they need to respect you. I don't think this is a way to gain respect. In fact, he probably talked more crap about you after denying his raise than he did before.

You must learn to manage your perceptions.

I have to agree with the the comment posted on March 23. I work in manufacturing sales. We had a tough time like everyone last year because of the ecnomy. However I personally did well and had a 24 percent increase in sales over last years numbers.

However this does not stop my boss from making degrading comments about me to HR. I also receive little praise, which is okay my commission check is my praise. However he pulled me into a meeting 7 days into the new year to let me know I was failing miserably. Not even a week to get things going, after he asked me to push to ship things in December to help the company out.

The worst is I get my review and he uses words like "barely" to decribe how I did on projects he gave me last year. He would start off giving you one project and then say that another project is the priority, and forgets that you finished the priority project. So he says on my review that I barely worked on a project that he dropped. He forgets everything we talk about, and is negative more then not. Needless to say I am angry. After increasing my numbers by nearly 24 percent he gives me a negative review, and no raise for all the work I put in. But the kicker is this, I am a salesperson and on my review it says NOTHING about my stellar numbers. Okay the company is struggling don't give me a raise, but say thank you instead of slapping me in the face.

My point is respectful communication and treatment from my boss would go a long way. You are the big boy on this one. Suck it up. That is what you are paid for. Does your employee do good work? Are you calling him dickweed behind his back, or disrespecting him to fellow workers? Money is the reason I work, so please do not misunderstand me. However no amount of money makes up for being demeaned by a power hungry crazy man. Grow up and ask yourself why your employee feels this way about you. A boss the inspires my loyalty by being loyal is someone I would bust my can for. I can not believe your employee would act like this for no reason. Think......

Also don't punish people because of your own personal feelings. There are worse things then being fired. You are not as essential as you think you are. Even in this economy you can find work, if you've got the goods.