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Good heart, but few skills to be a boss

I work on the IT Support department of an electrical generators factory.

First we were only two in the department: me and my boss.
We were like friends, did everything together, solved problems peacefully and did everything to cover eachother's backs when something went wrong.
He didn't have much skills on IT stuff, so I used to teach him what I knew. He taught me a lot about other stuff either. Both of us were young (i was 19, he was 26) and we had a lot to learn with eachother.
Altough the salary is poor because he didn't have the balls to ask the managing directors for a raise to us, I was doing what I like and I was really motivated.
This has been this way for about 1 and a half years.

After a new member got in the department, the things started to get really bad.
He started to feel unable to lead us both and got stressed so he took the 'boss' attitude that everyone hates.
He got distant and when something goes wrong he starts to fire at us. He doesn't give us much information on what's going on, only what he thinks that is essential to solve a particular task. When I ask for more info, he says that it's none of my business, but when I don't ask, he says that I should have paid more attention.
Once I did a database that 8 months after its implementation, they saved about €21.000 in equipment. He got the report and didn't even care to tell that my work was having a positive feedback. I only knew that about 1 year after on a dinner party, speaking with the head of the warehouse department.
Things that he didn't use to complain about such as how I have my desk organized, now he complains twice a day, and when I say that his desk is pretty more unorganized than mine, he says that it only looks unorganized but he knows where everything is.
And the list goes on and on...
I started to get more and more demotivated, and even a bit depressed, getting up in the morning started to get harder and harder, I started to get later to work.
Before, he would ask the human resources department to make it not counting as being late. now he asked them to be rigid and to cut on my paychecks everytime i get late.

Now, where it used to be some good conversations when we were both alone, there's only a strange silence.

And the situation is like a downward spiral right now. Sometimes it seems that it will get better, but it's only an illusion.

It sucks and I ran out of ideas to get out of it.



I bet your boss hates things the way they are now, too. Shakespeare once wrote: "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." Management has its own nightmares.

It is too bad your boss has shut down and closed the open door of communication between the two of you. When bosses stop listening they become rotten and hard to work with or for. One of the keys to successful management is being able to connect with your team and generate synergy. Sounds like he is lost as a boss.

Also there is another old saying: "Familiarity breeds contempt." Meaning, he knows you too well to respect you. This current situation is not becasue of anything you did. It's him. You lost a friend and gained a boss. And it will never go back to the way it once was.
HR Guy on 07 March 2010 20:17:51
Unfortunately. I'd love to get things back the way they were.
He even got away from other people he was close in other departments.

Last fryday he was more friendly. Me and my coworker did several things to get the department running better and he seems more releived from the burden of losing things out of control. He even danced to YMCA when I put it to play in my computer.

I'll try to keep things this way to see if we can re-attach in a friendly manner.
Anonymous on 09 March 2010 00:53:26
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