Confidence at Work
Is your lack of confidence holding you back? Do you have a hard time saying no?
Don't let your boss push you around. Learn how to be
assertive without being aggressive.
Manage your Stress
Develop new skills to deal with stressful situations.
Dealing with Difficult People
We all come into contact with difficult people from time to time, but how do you deal with them?
If all else fails, and you are unhappy in your current job,
you may want to think about moving on.
If you work with other people, you will, from time to time find yourself having
to deal with awkward situations. At best, these situations can be tricky, at
worst they make you feel angry and frustrated, leading to conflict and a bad
These situations happen because your opinions, beliefs or expectations are
different to others. They do not always have to end in stress and conflict.
Your success in overcoming these situations is based on how you deal with
Recognise any of these situations?
Unreasonable requests from your boss;
Being asked to work late when you have an engagement;
Taking too much work on because you can't say 'no';
Bullying and intimidating behaviour from a supervisor;
Feeling angry because your colleagues are not co-operating.
There are three ways that you can tackle these kinds of situation.
Non Assertive behavior
Non assertive people tend to withdraw from a situation. This is a
passive approach that allows others to take control, and results in feelings of
low self-esteem, guilt, and anger.
It doesn't have to be this way. You can learn to be more assertive.
Aggressive people tend to over react emotionally to a situation. They
misstate the facts, accuse or put others down. They use hostile and
manipulative tactics. This tends to lead to a negative outcome and encourages
It is a myth that being assertive is being aggressive. It isn't. Assertiveness
involves a calm, rational approach where each person respects the rights and
beliefs of the other. Being aggressive is an explosive release of pent up
feelings, leaving no room for discussion or compromise.
Assertive behavior enables you to stand up for your rights and what
you believe in.
The confidence to say 'No' when you don't want to do something.
Protecting your rights and beliefs whilst respecting the rights and beliefs of
Upfront, direct and honest attitude that is communicated in a mature and
Improves your self-confidence and ability to deal with situations.
Here are some tips to help you become more assertive:
Tell people in a calm, non-confrontational way about how their actions or
behavior make you feel, without attacking them.
Start sentences with 'I' and say how you feel. Avoid sentences that start with
'you' and blame the other person. Eg, "I feel my workload is too great"
rather than "You always give me too much to do". This helps the other person
see things from your point of view in a non-confrontational way.
Be specific – your message will have greater impact if it is clear and direct.
Be honest about your own feelings with yourself.
Be upfront, direct and honest. Maintain an attitude that is communicated in a
mature and controlled way.
If you are confronted with objections, keep repeating your message but
acknowledge the other person's point of view.
Offer alternatives to reach a compromise – assertiveness is about creating a
win-win situation for both people.
Assertive body language
Stand or sit upright and tall but in a relaxed manner. Don't be afraid
to look people calmly in the eyes. Open hand gestures convey honesty and are
disarming. Use a steady, calm tone in your voice that is not emotional. If the
other person raises their voice, stay calm and don't raise yours. Take time to
consider your body language.
Being assertive takes practice. When you are able to be assertive in one
situation, it gives you confidence to be assertive in other situations. Start
with something fairly easy. Maybe saying "no" in a social situation that you
feel obliged to be involved in. Don't just rush right in with a request
for a pay rise! You need to work your way up to something like that.